What Phoebe did?
by Koala Penguin
Summary: Phoebe Grey meets a young man who has a similar past to her father's. The young man is down on his luck and has an abused scarred soul. The Greys pull together to give the young man a second chance. (Sequel to Persuading Ana)
1. Hungry Eyes

Phoebe was doing work experience at Grey Construction. She was trying to find her uncle when she caught the attention of James Parker, a young labourer who was toiling and sweating. Phoebe noticed him staring at her and she thought it was rude and made her self-conscious. Jim knew he should stop staring but he had never seen anyone look as beautiful as the girl before him did. Phoebe had her mother's big blue eyes but had her dad's dark copper coloured hair. The unusual combination often turned heads though Phoebe thought it was because she was unattractive. All her family had told her she was pretty but she just couldn't see it.

"Get on with your work Jim. There are plenty of other labourers who would want your job." The foreman called and Jim put his back into his work.

* * *

Phoebe was waiting for her mother at the site entrance when Jim saw his opportunity to speak the girl who had seemed to bewitch him with her beauty in a matter of seconds. Jim was on his motorbike.

"Hi" Jim said timidly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hi" Phoebe barely looked at him but he couldn't really tell when she was wearing sun glasses.

"Can I give you a ride?" Jim politely offered.

"No. My mom will be here soon. We're going to have massages" Phoebe stared straight ahead. She felt intimidated by the longing look in Jim's eyes.

"Perhaps I could stay with you." Jim didn't think that the girl was safe standing there on her own.

"Actually, I have security." A man twice Jim's size came into view. The man's stance was threatening. Jim gulped, he didn't fancy his chances against the man who looked like an orang-utan with his muscle and red hair. "I just wanted to catch the sun" Phoebe explained.

"Well, I'll be on my way then. See you around" Jim started his motor bike and drove off before he angered the orang-utan. All he could do was look back and admire.

* * *

Jim was working his second job at Club 9 when he saw Phoebe again. He was mainly a glass washer at the nightclub but he had other duties there as well. Phoebe was dancing with a group of her friends to a local band when Phoebe was overcome with heat and decided to go outside. At that moment Jim decided to empty the bins so that he could follow. Despite not knowing her, he felt concerned for her. There was a certain magic about her that he couldn't ignore.

"Are you ok?" Jim asked just as shyly as when he saw her just outside the construction site.

"Fine" Phoebe said but she didn't look fine.

"You might want to drink some water" Jim suggested.

"You sound like my dad" Phoebe groaned.

"Because I suggested getting some water?" Jim asked surprised.

"Because you sounded worried" Phoebe clarified.

"It must be nice to have someone worry about you" Jim responded.

"It's annoying" Phoebe retorted. "I think I've drunk too much. My dad is going to kill me. I wasn't supposed to drink."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad." Jim wanted to reassure her, he was sure that Phoebe was someone's little princess and had never known pain in her life.

"You don't know my dad" Phoebe smiled awkwardly. Phoebe saw a deeper look of concern on Jim's face "He has a heart of gold but he can shout … loudly!" Phoebe didn't want anyone to think badly of her dad.

"You shouldn't stay out here alone. It's not safe. I have to get back inside. They'll dock money if they think I'm slacking" Jim explained.

"As I said before I got security" Phoebe nodded to a car across the road. The orang-utan had come out of the car.

"So who are you? Why do you have so much protection?" Jim asked.

"I'm Phoebe Grey. Christian Grey's daughter" Phoebe explained. "Most of my friends and family call me Phee."

Jim was taken back at that. Of course he heard of Christian Grey. He knew the girl was way out of his league but this confirmed it.

"Oi Jim. Get your ass back inside. The toilets need cleaning. Some chick has puked all over." The barman ordered Jim.

"Yes sir" Jim responded politely.

"I'll see you around then." Phoebe smiled sweetly and it took Jim's breath away. "But before you go I didn't catch your name."

"Jim. Jim Parker." Jim said and then promptly did what he was told.

* * *

Phoebe Grey was curious to learn more about Jim Parker. Phoebe felt a pull towards him. Sure he was cuteness personified with his buzz-cut hair, hazel eyes and the sort of slightly baffled expression that Lucy (the rough collie) got when looking for her chew toy, but he wasn't her type! Phoebe had always liked the sort of guy who had long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes – the ones that sported a goatee. She was also valued intelligence and Jim as a labourer slash nightclub odd job man didn't shout intelligence. But she knew from reading many of her mother's Austen novels that looks could be deceiving.

* * *

Jim had been up at the crack of dawn for a run. He needed to get Phoebe Grey out of his head. She was the niece of the boss's boss times ten. She was the daughter of one the richest men in the USA and therefore the world. She was beautiful, more than beautiful. And who was he? At night he was student. During the day he was a dirt poor labourer. Then to make ends meet he had a whole host of odd jobs from glass washer in a nightclub to pizza delivery boy. It was a good job that he didn't sleep because the most he could ever have was four hours.

After being chucked out of his last foster home he had spent months on the street. He slept where he could in the freezing cold and ate through dumpster-diving but he had developed a sense of being able to do things entirely for himself without being corrected for it. He had to lay low so that he wouldn't be sent back to where he came from or worst a juvenile detention center. He had spent much of his time in the public library for warmth and there found a love for books that he never did whilst avoiding the normal kids at school. Once he got some money through panhandling and odd jobs he paid for phoney ID so that he could get a proper job, then a room in a lodging house and then a place at night school. The phoney ID had been his ticket to freedom but if anyone found out he was younger than 18 the life he had built for himself would come tumbling down.

Jim had considered signing up to the armed forces but then decided that never again would he be told what to think and do on a constant basis. He lost his mother at the tender age of six. She was a good mother to him and had loved him, he had been very much the center of her world, so the first foster home he went to was a culture shock. The ex-army couple took him in for the money and they ran their home like an army barracks. Everything was done to time and there were inspections which if failed by Jim were severely punished. Jim thought that if that was how the army was like he wanted no part in it.

After his run Jim went for a shower at a public swimming pool. Jim cherished every moment the clean water cascaded on his skin. He felt clean both inside and out.

Jim then went to work thinking that if he saw Phoebe Grey he would feel nothing towards her. But deep down he knew he was kidding himself and that the feeling wouldn't subside. When he saw her, this time with her uncle, he realised that he couldn't stay away even though that was the smart play.


	2. I Just Want To Make Love To You

Phoebe Grey was shadowing her uncle on a new project to understand how blueprints eventually became buildings. She had zoned out of what her uncle was saying when she saw Jim digging a trench. He stopped when he saw her but then saw the foreman watching him so he resumed his work but stole sly glances at her. It was obvious he wanted to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk him. But how could they meet?

"Phoebe Grey are you listening to me or are you looking at the young man who belongs in a diet coke ad?" Elliot said with a touch of amusement in his voice.

"I was listening Uncle Elliot" Phoebe lied. She was a terrible liar and bit her lip.

"So what was I saying?" Elliot asked but then laughed at Phoebe's blank face. "It doesn't matter but you have to learn to lie better than that if you're going to get away with anything that you don't want your dad to know about."

"There's nothing in my life that I would want to hide from dad" Phoebe replied.

"You mean not yet" Elliot winked and hoped that Phoebe take the hint. Christian would definitely object to his 15 year old daughter dating anyone. Elliot and Kate had given permission for Ava to date but along as she stuck to the rules.

* * *

Jim was eating some sandwiches he had made in a rush that morning and reading a text book on criminal law. The sandwich was nothing special: a thin slice of cheese between two slices of bread. Phoebe went to join him with her own pack lunch which was a baguette filled with chicken and avocado that Mrs Jones had made her. Jim couldn't believe that the girl who was out of his reach was walking up to him. He loved how her crimson top clung to her as she walked.

"So how many jobs do you have?" Phoebe asked.

Jim suddenly looked worried and searched to see if anyone overheard "Look you can't tell your uncle that you saw me at the nightclub. I shouldn't be moonlighting and I could get chucked off site. But I need the work." Jim didn't know if he could trust Phoebe Grey but he tried his luck.

"Ok" Phoebe said but bit her lip. She didn't like keeping secrets from her family but she didn't want to get Jim into trouble. Jim was surprised that she agreed and she went up in his estimation - she clearly wasn't judgmental. "So why are you reading a book on law?" Phoebe was trying to make conversation but she was truly curious.

"I'm studying law on a part time basis at Seattle University" Jim said proudly. It was the one thing he could be proud about. It also certainly made Jim more attractive in Phoebe's eyes.

"A noble profession. Ava wants to be a lawyer too and my gramps owns his own firm. She's doing her work experience there" Phoebe said. Phoebe now understood the reason why Jim was moonlighting – to pay for college. She again felt lucky for own situation and no longer felt guilt for keeping quiet.

"Who's Ava?" Jim asked.

"My cousin. We go to school together." Phoebe hoped that the fact she was at school wouldn't make Jim run a mile.

Jim was slightly surprised that Phoebe was still at school. She had been in a nightclub and whilst the age to get in was 18 she seemed slightly older. The age he was pretending to be - 19. "So what grade are you in?"

"I'm in the 11th Grade but I skipped." Phoebe blushed at that. Jim did a double take and Phoebe went hurriedly on "I want to go into architecture so I'm shadowing my uncle over some of the summer."

"So why architecture?" Jim asked, truly interested.

"I went on vacation to Europe with the rest of my family. I was blown away by Barcelona. The cathedral especially. Plus dad refuses to let me become an actress. He has his reasons. I guess he doesn't want me to come across as some typical American socialite. So why law?"

Jim's internal answer was to make sure that the bastards who had hurt him (and people like them) wouldn't get away with hurting anyone else again but he couldn't say that to Phoebe. She looked so goddamn sweet and innocent. He wanted to shield her from the harshness of the world "As you said it's a noble profession and its better than labouring for the rest of my life." It wasn't the whole truth but close.

"Parker. Get to it" The foreman ordered Jim. Jim was surprised his break was over so quickly. He knew he was being stretched and pushed by the foreman.

"See what I mean. Break's over" Jim sighed. He had enjoyed talking to Phoebe Grey. She was like a ray of light in a very gloomy world.

"Tomorrow I have a rehearsal for a play I'm in. I could get Wilson to take me home later than usual and we can go for a coffee. I mean if you would like. I would like to talk some more." Phoebe looked down afraid to hear Jim's answer.

"I would like that a lot" Jim smiled awkwardly. He wasn't used to smiling since he had precious little to smile about growing up.

"Parker. I told you to get to it" The foreman glared at Jim.

"Where should I meet you? What time?" Jim asked urgently, he didn't want to lose this opportunity but he also didn't want to get fired.

Phoebe scribbled the details on her napkin. "Here. Don't forget."

"I won't" Jim promised.

* * *

Jim had arrived early to see Phoebe rehearse for her play. It was clear that acting was a passion for her and she was incredibly talented. Phoebe smiled when she saw him.

Once the rehearsal was over Jim went to Phoebe "You were amazing up there."

"You can over flatter someone you know" Phoebe laughed.

"No I mean it" Jim said in earnest wanting Phoebe to believe him.

"Thank you." Phoebe then held Jim's hand. Jim couldn't believe that she had taken his hand into hers. He hadn't known such a gentle touch since his mother had died. "So coffee? There's this great little place around the corner. It has French pastries. My aunt, she lives in Paris and took us on the most amazing tasting tour…" Jim was beginning to love hearing Phoebe talk. He could get lost in it and be in different world with her. Her world seemed bright and happy. He wished he could belong in it but he was who he was and Phoebe was a enchanting spirit. Phoebe then said "I'm sorry if I'm babbling."

"You're not. I like listening to you talk." Jim stroked Phoebe's hand with his thumb. It made her blush.

"Well, we're here." Phoebe opened the door and took a seat.

Jim looked at the prices. He was going to pay but he couldn't help thinking that on these prices he could feed himself for a week.

"So what will you have? We have an affordable set menu" The waitress turned her nose up at Jim.

Jim was used to being treated like he was nothing so he simply said "I'll have a tea please. I'm not hungry."

"No you won't." Phoebe said with anger in her eyes.

"Uh... Ok. What have I done?" Jim asked worriedly, rubbing the back of neck, wondering if his lack of hunger had annoyed Phoebe or spoilt what she had in mind.

"Nothing. It's her. She's a waitress. You're a customer. She should be civil. We're going." Phoebe stood up and left.

Jim followed close behind completely surprised at Phoebe's protectiveness towards him. "So where are we going to?" Jim asked.

"You choose" Phoebe replied.

"I don't know the area. There's a hot dog stand with a queue. That's a good sign" Jim pointed out.

"I haven't had a hot dog in ages. Let's go" Phoebe smiled at Jim again and he felt his heart skip a beat. He would never tire of that smile.


	3. I'm a believer

Phoebe and Jim were strolling towards Pike Market. After eating hot dogs Phoebe had quickly resumed holding hands. When she held Jim's hand she felt inexplicably happy inside herself.

"So where's the orang-utan?" Jim asked uneasily. He had a feeling that the orang-utan would be his executioner when it came to Phoebe Grey. Her father would be judge and jury.

"Who?" Phoebe asked puzzled.

"You know 'Security'" Jim mimicked her.

Phoebe laughed "Wilson? I told him to pick me up later. A lot later. I didn't realise you worked on the weekends too."

"I'm sorry. I thought coffee meant coffee. I'm new to this. I mean whatever this is." Jim didn't want to seem too forward but then got concerned for Phoebe's safety "So you're all alone? With me? Are you ok with that?"

Phoebe wished that Jim would relax so she said sarcastically "Should I be afraid of you?"

"No. I would never harm you" Jim said in a candid tone, he was aghast at the idea of ever harming Phoebe.

"Then the only fault in my plan was assuming that you would be free all day today. So what do you do at to Pike Market?" Phoebe went on to safe territory.

"I clear up. Stack tables. Mop-up. Odd-job should be my name" Jim jested.

"I wouldn't spend a lot of money on a lethal bowler hat. You still would look nothing like him" Phoebe jested back and Jim grinned. He couldn't help but smile around Phoebe Grey.

"Ah! A Bond fan! Ok. Er... favourite Bond?" Jim asked.

"Daniel Craig." Phoebe instantly responded.

"Good choice."

"I loved Casino Royale and Skyfall! Though what were they thinking with Quantum of Solace. Yours?"

"Connery." Jim then did an impression which surprised Phoebe "Good morning, gentlemen. ACME pollution inspection. We're cleaning up the world, we thought this was a suitable starting point."

Jim quickly thought about the bastards who should be wiped from the world but quickly banished the thought when Phoebe immediately said "Diamonds are Forever!"

"Very good. What about this one? Moneypenny, let me tell you the secret of the world."

"I know this. Ah! It's in my head. From Russia with Love. Ha!" Phoebe beamed.

"Best Bond villain?"

"Ohhh! Too many! Francisco Scaramanga or Rosa Klebb. I can't decide. Torn. You?"

"Without a doubt Goldfinger! 'No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!'" Jim gave another impression. Movies had been an escape in the hell holes he was brought up in.

Phoebe then became serious remembering how they got on to the topic of Bond "Do you ever stop working?" Phoebe was concerned. She was sure that she would collapse of exhaustion if she had to work as hard as Jim.

"There are worst things in life than working" Jim shrugged.

That wasn't a comforting thought to Phoebe and she said so. She normally always spoke her mind. "Why is it that I have a feeling that you've been through whatever is worst than working yourself to death?"

Jim sighed at the serious turn of the conversation "Let's not talk about me. It really isn't that interesting. So you've been to Europe. Where did you go? What did you see?"

"Stop changing the subject" Phoebe frowned.

"Phee, I want to know about Europe" Jim insisted.

"Why do you want to know?" Phoebe asked defensively because she wanted to know about Jim, it was obvious he never had it easy, and she also didn't want to boast.

_Now there was an easy question!_ Jim thought and then went on to explain "Because when you're talking it's like I'm there where with you. I've lived in this state my whole life. The only place I've been a tourist is in the Seattle Art Museum. They have free admission on the first Thursday of each month. You know I've never even been in the Seattle Space Needle."

"No way! We have to change that. Spend the afternoon with me. We can go there right now." Phoebe said eagerly.

Jim shook his head regrettably "I can't."

"Just skip out on work this once" Phoebe posed.

"Working means I can put fuel in my bike for a few more days. It means I can …"

"…go to work" Phoebe smirked.

"and therefore College." College was Jim's reason for doing anything... well until he met Phoebe Grey. Phoebe Grey had tilt his world on its axis. Normally any free time he had would be spent studying.

"What about after your job? If I help it will be done twice as quick and then I can show you how it's like up there" Phoebe was determined.

"Phee, it's hard work" Jim warned. He didn't want Phoebe uncomfortable let alone hurt.

"Do you think I'm afraid of hard work?" Phoebe challenged.

Jim hastily did a retreat "No. I just can't imagine the Grey princess mopping up fish gut off the pavement. Can you imagine what the papers would make of that. Christian Grey's daughter does community service."

Phoebe thought that the observation was fair enough but she objected to sentiment "What about a pirate?"

"A pirate?" Jim scoffed.

"Yeap. When I was a kid I was mainly Captain Pugwash. Hardly ever the princess unless gramps was peacefully negotiating with monsters underneath my bed." Phoebe smiled of the memory of Sir Carrick!

"So if your Captain Pugwash who am I?" Jim said giving into Phoebe.

"Tom the cabin boy." Phoebe said as if it was obvious.

"That sounds about right." Jim laughed. Being around Phoebe Grey felt good.

* * *

"So you really are a hard worker." Jim complemented at how Phoebe got stuck in to the work. They were walking towards the Space Needle.

"Not as hard or as fast as you so I'm not taking a dime of that money. No matter how much you insist. Look, I know you have to be polite to your bosses but you shouldn't let people talk down to you. The foreman, the barman, the fish monger" Phoebe listed.

"Phee, I live a hand to mouth existence. If I don't keep my head down I get fired, if I don't work I don't eat" Jim explained. These were the facts of life - plain and simple. Jim had to work any job he could get that didn't look to close at who they were hiring.

Phoebe was sure that there was more to it than that but she couldn't argue with what Jim had said.

* * *

Phoebe quickened her pace to beat Jim to the ticket office of the Seattle Space Needle. There was no way Jim was paying for this.

"Can I have two tickets to the Observation Deck?" Phoebe asked. She had her wallet out and glared at Jim when he reached for his.

"You're Phoebe Grey, aren't you? You look so much like your parents. The next lift will be down in a mo. No need to pay…." The receptionist started to roll out the VIP treatment.

* * *

"So by being rich we get things for free? It's a perverse world" Phoebe observed in the lift when she was alone with Jim. She was thinking how unfair life was and truly feeling it after seeing a glimpse of what Jim had to do to survive.

"Phee. Don't let it get you down." Jim responded gently.

Phoebe was about to argue but she looked at Jim's face and decided to let it drop. Jim looked excited and eager as a kid to finally be in the Seattle Space Needle.

Once Phoebe and Jim were on the observation deck Phoebe started to point out the Puget Sound, Lake Union and the Cascade Mountains.

Jim was blown away with both the view and the girl beside him. "I could stay here all night and just stare. Phoebe I… I have never met anyone like you and I feel something for you that I never felt before. You're so beautiful. Really. Beautiful." Phoebe blushed. Jim awkwardly continued "You make me smile when I thought I had forgotten how. You stood up for me and yet you hardly know me... Maybe that's why. I don't ever want to stop seeing you but I don't understand…" Jim knew he loved Phoebe after just one day with her but felt that that love could never be returned. Jim had believed that love was only true in fairy tales. The only love he had ever felt was from his mother and when his mother died all that was left was pain. There was no-one who could take the pain away and all that they seemed to want to do was add to it.

"What don't you understand?" Phoebe asked encouragingly.

"You're the most amazing person I've ever met and I'm…" Jim had to know if he had a chance or if Phoebe was just being charitable "Why are you hanging out with someone like me?"

Phoebe didn't have to think to answer Jim's question "Because you're caring and fun to be with. Because you say nice things to me. Because you look cute." Phoebe couldn't understand why Jim saw himself so negatively.

"Cute?" Jim raised an eye brow.

"Hot" Phoebe corrected. "As my uncle said you belong in a diet coke ad!"

"Your uncle said that!" Jim said in disbelief.

"He's less serious at home. Actually he's a riot, real laid back and it's been a shock to see him all business like on site. Dad is normally the serious one." Phoebe informed him.

* * *

Wilson was observing Phoebe and Jim from afar. The Grey kids were never without security. He knew he had to report this incident.

"Mr Grey, we have a problem. Miss Phoebe Grey has attracted some undesirable attention from a Mr James Parker. Yes Sir. I'll get Mr Welch to send you a background check shortly. But don't worry Mr Grey. It's nothing that we can't handle. We'll keep you posted."


	4. My father's eyes

Jim was breaking up the pavement on the Grey Construction site when the orang-utan pistol whipped him out of nowhere. He felt ringing in his ears and was disorientated. He knew he was going to be beaten in this fight. It was just a question of how severe the damage was going to be. The punches came fast and with a ferocity that ripped right through him. Jim had learnt how to take punches from an early age. He tightened his stomach and tried to make himself as small a target as possible. He felt it difficult to breathe and to keep dodging the blows but he knew from experience that if he dropped to the floor he would be finished.

Phoebe was with Elliot when she saw Wilson pound Jim to a bloody pulp. She was shocked and then felt compelled to physically help Jim herself. No-one else was. They were just standing there watching. Elliot grabbed hold of his niece afraid that she might get hurt by Wilson whilst he was locked in fight mode. Elliot was livid that Christian would do something like this.

"Let me go! Please." Phoebe was wide eyed in fear for Jim.

"Phoebe let me break it up first. Ok?" Elliot held Phoebe by shoulders and looked her in the eye "Ok."

Jim was thrown to the ground. He felt his head bounce off the pavement before being knocked out. When Jim came through he realised that the orang-utan wasn't finished with him. He took the kicks to the chest and head.

Elliot purposefully strode over to Jim and Wilson. He knew how to handle himself since he was a Red Belt in Judo and he put Wilson in a lock "Enough. Ok."

Wilson wasn't expecting the intervention from Elliot Grey. Wilson nodded his agreement and Elliot let go. Wilson then spat at Jim "Leave Phoebe Grey alone. This is your one and only warning."

"Leave. Now." Elliot ordered Wilson and Wilson left. Jim slowly and shakily got up. He couldn't stand straight. He was in too much pain. He was also embarrassed that his colleagues had seen him get laid out and what was worst that Phoebe had seen it too. Now she would know he was a loser. Elliot turned to Jim "Shit. Look at you. Go and get yourself sorted out." Elliot said roughly, he knew that Jim would be more embarrassed if he was mollycoddled.

Jim nodded and slowly went to the welfare area. The foreman followed him and as soon as the door was shut said "You brought this on yourself. You'll never be good enough for the likes of Phoebe Grey. Go home. You're no use here. You'll be paid for this morning's work."

Jim took that to mean that he would only be paid a half a day's pay and he knew that was only the start. If he couldn't work tomorrow or the day after that he would be fucked in terms of making ends meet that month. If it was just a half day then he could stretch out the rations he already had. Then there was college. He felt his eye become swollen shut and he didn't know if could study. Jim felt himself shaking. He was finding it hard to keep together. Ever since his mom died he had been down on his luck but he had toughed it out the best he could. It was only recently that he felt he luck was turning and then he was stupid enough to fall in love with Phoebe Grey. He had blown it.

Phoebe was waiting for Jim when he left the welfare area "Are you ok?"

"Just leave me alone" Jim said as he walked past her.

"Aren't you going to the hospital?" Phoebe asked. She wanted Jim to get the medical attention he needed.

"No." Jim snapped.

"Why not?" Phoebe glared.

"Because it's not that bad. Can you go away?" Jim snapped again. He didn't understand why Phoebe wouldn't leave him alone. She had now seen how pathetic and weak he was.

"I thought you said you didn't ever want to stop seeing me. I am here wanting to see you. So is what you said a lie?" Phoebe knew she was being unfair but she had to get it through to Jim that she wasn't going anywhere until she knew he was ok.

"Your dad obviously doesn't want me to be anywhere near his daughter. This was just a warning. What do you think he's going to do to me if I don't adhere to that warning?" Jim demanded.

"Dad wouldn't do this …" Phoebe couldn't believe that her dad could be responsible for hurting someone this badly but then again her dad was so protective when it came to his family "and if he did I wouldn't…"

"No Phoebe. He's just looking out for you." Jim responded. He wasn't worth Phoebe's pity and he definitely wasn't going to be the reason for Phoebe to be upset with her father. "I'm going home. I can't do a day's work. Not like this."

"I'm coming with you. You can't go home on your own. You can barely walk." Phoebe felt tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'll manage." Jim knew he had to push her away.

"Let me help. Don't push me away. Please." Phoebe pleaded.

_Shit! Why did she have to say please?_ Jim thought.

* * *

Elliot stormed into Grey House and into Christian's office. He was going to have words with his little brother.

"What the fuck were you were thinking?" Elliot shouted.

"What's happened?" Christian was surprised by the anger Elliot was emanating towards him.

"Don't play the innocent. Wilson beat the hell out of one of my employees. The one Phoebe had taken a shine to. I had to break it up. Did you really think that would work?" Elliot looked at his brother with disappointment.

"Elliot I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." Christian was now angry that Elliot was accusing him of something he hadn't done.

"Phoebe saw someone she was beginning to care about take a beating. If you thought that was going to break them up it won't. It will drive her away from you and directly into his path." Elliot explained the stupidity.

"I didn't order anyone to be beaten up. I ordered a background check. That's all. You know me Elliot. If I was that angry I would've done it myself. But from what you said Wilson acted on his own accord. He will be dealt with."

"You better fire him. He put Phoebe in danger. She was going to intervene. She could've got hurt. He could've hurt her." Elliot spelled it out for Christian.

The realisation pissed Christian off. "He's fired alright. Where is she?"

"Taking care of Jim Parker." Elliot said, thinking that his brother was rather slow if he hadn't already worked that out. _Where else would Phoebe be?_

Christian ran his hand through his hair and then said "Fuck."

"What?" Elliot glared at Christian.

"There are questions about his background. Here take a look at the file." Christian passed over Jim's history.

"It's thin."

"Too thin. It's like the kid was born 18. Employment records. Driver's licence. College. Bank account details. He stays out of the trouble and scrimps to pay for college. Good grades so far. But you'll be interested in the employment records."

Elliot looked at the employment record. Elliot knew he would have to let Jim go. Jim was working too many jobs for him to be able to get enough sleep so that he could operate in a safe manner. He was a danger both to himself and to others on site. "Fuck. He's a good kid. Keeps his head and gets on with his work. Though he needs to learn to stick up for himself." Elliot had told the foreman to layoff Jim a number of times such as shouting at Jim for going on a toilet break.

"I'm not sure about him being a good kid. There's the pre-requisites for college. It doesn't match with any other checks that Welch has done. James Parker isn't who he says he is." Christian said worried for his daughter.

"This doesn't excuse Wilson and Jim probably has his reasons."

"Elliot, I've told you that Wilson goes. He jeopardised my daughter's safety."


	5. Common people

Jim walked home wheeling his bike with Phoebe alongside him. Phoebe was carrying his bag, she had insisted and he no longer had the energy to fight her. They got to Jim's lodging house and Jim was about to lift his bike so that he could carry it up the four flights of stairs to his room when Phoebe stopped him.

"Can't we leave it up here?" Phoebe sensibly suggested.

Jim looked at Phoebe as if she was mad "It'll be gone the moment we make it up to the first floor. Even if it was chained."

"But you can't carry it!" Phoebe insisted.

"I'm gonna have to" Jim said resolutely.

"Do you even know how to look after yourself? Do you care that you've got a bloody nose, a fat lip, a couple of lumps on your forehead, and a dark purple bruise forming around your left eye and cheek? And that's just your face."

"Phee I have to keep going. It's the only way."

Jim wheeled his bike up the stairs. His body was sore and he was exhausted but as he said to Phoebe he had to keep going. Jim put his bike at the back of the room and then switched on the desk lamp. It was the only light in the room.

Phoebe looked around Jim's room. It was windowless and small. She was surprised by the scarcity. It had a fold out chairbed made from foam which Phoebe knew from sleepovers were painful to both sit and sleep on. She couldn't imagine how Jim could sleep on it every night. On top on the chair bed was a pillow and a blanket and beside it was a baseball bat. There was a mini fridge that had a chain and padlock on it. A book shelf which held almost everything that Jim owned: a few folded clothes, text books, toiletries, washing up liquid, washing powder and a few tins/packets of food. There was a kettle on top of the book shelf as well as a mug, a bowl and cutlery. In front of the bookshelf was a giant bean bag that had been patched up. On the wall there was a wall planner and a few movie posters. A sink was in the corner which had a towel hung by it.

"It's not much but its mine" Jim sighed. "There's a bathroom on the 2nd floor. If you need it I'll wait outside. Anyone can use the kitchen but I wouldn't recommend it unless you want to watch a crack head experiment. Shit. I can't believe I brought you here." Jim clenched his fist and then unclenched it.

The truth be told Phoebe did feel scared but she tried hard not to portray it. She wanted to be there for Jim and so she said "I like what you've done with the place." Jim looked quizzically at Phoebe and Phoebe laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to say. The movie posters are cool."

Jim smiled at Phoebe's laugh "So do you want the chairbed or the bean bag? One day I'll upgrade to proper furniture."

"I'll take the bean bag but you should lie down. I just want you to stop and let me look after you. I don't understand why you can't go to the hospital. Grams works there. She'll take care of you." Pheobe said in earnest.

Jim wondered how Phoebe could be so naive and it irritated him slightly. "Firstly, I don't have medical insurance. Secondly, they'll call the cops and I don't want to implicate your dad. Thirdly, it's not that bad. I don't mean to snap but let this go." Jim shut the door behind them "I have to put the lock on. Is that ok?" Phoebe nodded "The combination is unoriginally 0070. But if I sleep and you need to go wake me. You're not walking around this neighbourhood on your own. My laptop is under the floor boards. There's a few movies too and a survival kit if the electricity goes."

"Why is your laptop under the floor boards?" Phoebe asked curiously. She needed to understand why Jim was living the way he was but she couldn't find the right questions. She wished Ava was here. Ava would pry the truth in no time. But Phoebe instinctively knew this wasn't normal. She understood that people fell on hard times. She thought she understood what it was to be drawn into vices since her mother and Grams did all sorts of charity work. But Jim wasn't an addict, he was living in fear.

Jim again knew that Phoebe didn't belong in his world when she asked that seemly innocent question. "I can't afford it to get stolen. Like everything here its second hand but it does the trick."

"Jim are you safe here?" Phoebe now got to the point.

_Ok. Well may be she wasn't that naive!_ "There's nowhere else and I'm a lot safer here than some other places I've been." Jim knew now he said too much but he was too tired to think straight. With a quick pull he made his chair into a bed. He laid himself on it. He felt relief course through his body as he relaxed and without meaning to fell into a deep sleep straight away.

Phoebe was at first worried that Jim fell asleep as quick as he did but he didn't want to go to hospital and she had to respect that even if it was against her better judgement. She decided to tend to Jim's wounds whilst he slept - that way he couldn't protest. She ran a sponge under the cold tap and then softly wiped the blood away. She lifted his shirt to see to the damage there and she saw a long scar on Jim's abdomen. Phoebe gasped and then felt the tears fall down her face. Jim had gone through a world of pain and he was so alone.

_Jim was locked in a nightmare. He was back there - his fourth foster home._

_Jim was shit scared. He wanted to disappear, die, anything to get away. His foster father stubbed a cigarette out on his shoulder. The blistering pain broke Jim's resolve to block out what was being done to him. "Please don't."_

"_You're the reason why your mom is dead. You could've saved her. What makes you think you don't deserve this? Take it. May be I won't have to use my belt on you this time. Maybe." His foster father laughed at his pain._

_Jim couldn't just take it. He didn't care if he deserved it but he hated what was being done to him. 'Mom loved me and wouldn't want me hurt. Mom loved me and wouldn't want me hurt.' Jim repeated this in his head. His foster father slammed a fist into his back._

"Jim wake up. It's me. Please. You're scaring me" Phoebe begged.

Jim woke up startled. He felt someone by him in bed. He felt his heart race remembering the dream. That was the last time someone was in his bed. He slowly turned, trying to get focused and then he saw her. He recalled that Phoebe Grey had come home with him after he was beaten by the orang-utan and looked after him. He thought she looked like a fucking angel in a hell hole that he had brought her to. She reached out to touch him and it took all his will power not to flinch from her touch.

Phoebe then asked caringly "What happened to you? I want to know about your past."

Jim shook his head "Phee, nobody wants to know about my past. Not even the people who were paid too."

"I do." Phoebe knew she had to be brave.


	6. Lean on me

"Please Jim. I want to know" Phoebe pleaded.

"Phee, I don't need anyone's pity" Jim sighed.

"I just want to understand how you came to be here." Phoebe pressed and Jim knew she wasn't going to let it drop.

There was a siren and Jim wanted to take Phoebe as far away as he could from his room and neighbourhood. Jim wanted Phoebe safe. "Lets go for a walk. If we're doing this I need fresh air. Can you help me up?" Jim asked. His body had gotten stiff. It was a sign that he was recovering. Phoebe lifted Jim up. "Thanks. Can you pass me the hoody? The zipped one. I want to change this shirt. I'll get the blood out at some point."

Phoebe passed him the hoody. Jim struggled with lifting his shirt over his head so Phoebe without having to be asked helped. Jim getting changed gave Phoebe a view of the damage done on his back from the past and present. Jim had white raised lines across his back that were now masked with dark bruises. He had circular scars that littered his shoulders. Jim then put on the hoody and Phoebe helped him pull it around him. Jim then zipped himself in.

Jim locked up his room and they walked in a comfortable silence towards Montlake Bridge. Jim led the way on to the bridge and Phoebe was treated to a serene view. "This is my favourite place in the world. I feel at peace here. I love watching the sailboats. Imagine being on one. Carefree. Just the waves and the wind."

Phoebe was about to say her dad owned a boat and that she loved sailing but thought better of it given that her dad may have played a hand in Jim's beating.

* * *

Taylor drove Christian to Parker's address. Christian was going to drag Phoebe home and lock her in her room until she was 30. His security had fucked up but in his mind he still had to protect Phoebe from James Parker who was at present an unknown risk. But then he saw the way Jim tentatively put an arm around Phoebe and then he observed how Jim looked at Phoebe. He knew that fucking look. It said 'I know I'm not good enough but I can't stay the way'. It was the same look that Christian still wore when he was with Ana. Along time ago he had decided that the right man for Phoebe would be the one who gave her that look. It was obvious Jim worshipped the ground that Phoebe walked on and would never harm her.

Christian remembered how he met Ana. She was just a kid at a concert, which was a break from the Austen novels she normally had her head in. He remembered Bob Adams and how Bob made him feel that he was no good for Ana. He remembered the years that they had spent apart whilst he was building up his empire and the agony both had gone through during that time. He remembered meeting Ana years later and how they came together after realising they were always meant to be. He recoiled at the time lost. He didn't want Phoebe to experience the pain that both he and Ana had felt because of interfering parents. James Parker, or whoever he was, was trying hard to make something of himself - that much was obvious. Christian would give James Parker a chance with his daughter but he would keep a close watch and if something came up about Parker's past that he didn't like then he would discuss it with Ana and then Phoebe. He was not going to be Bob fucking Adams. The man who had treated him like shit from the off and it had only truly changed after Phoebe's birth.

Christian ordered Taylor to drive him home so that he could speak to Ana.

* * *

"Phee, I can trust you right?" Jim knew he could trust Phoebe, he just had to hear it.

"I won't tell anyone anything that you didn't want me to" Phoebe promised.

Jim took a deep breath "My name is Jamie Paston. I'm 17."

"Why are you pretending to be James Parker?" Phoebe asked the obvious question.

"Because I couldn't take being in the system anymore. I had to get out. If I didn't I would've ended it another way" Jim said frankly. "I would've come here. And jumped."

Phoebe felt a pang of pain at Jim's words and she grabbed his hand determined never to let go. "What's the system?"

"Foster care. My mom died when I was six. Up to that point my life was great. I never wanted for anything and she loved me. When she went things changed and they've never been the same since." Jim was nervous saying the next bit. He never wanted anyone to think ill of his mom "Phee, what do you know about BDSM?"

"I don't know. What does it stand for?"

_Shit! Why did she have to be so innocent?_ Jim then asked "Ok. What do you know about sex?"

Phoebe felt embarrassed by that question but she answered "Mom told me about STIs, safe sex and waiting for the right person." Phoebe glanced at Jim as if she knew he was the right one and that glance frightened Jim. Jim knew he wasn't worthy of her. She deserved someone better. Far better.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck "Ok. Some people have preferences that involve being tied up and spanked. There's nothing wrong with it. I mean you may not want to ask your mom about it but loads of people engage in the practice. My mom had those preferences. She was doing suspension play when it went wrong. She got strangled. I found her. I tried to lift her up but I couldn't. I tried to cut her down but I couldn't. I called 911 but she was dead by the time the paramedics arrived." Jim listed the ways he had failed his mom. Phoebe was stunned by the revelation and she could feel the self-blame Jim felt in his mom's death despite only being six when it happened. Jim continued swiftly knowing that he wouldn't be able to finish if he dwelled on his mother's death "I wish my last image of my mom wasn't like that and that the bastard who was fucking her had the decency to cut her down. I can now just make out his face in my dreams but when I was little I couldn't identify him."

"I am sorry you had to see your mom like that" Phoebe gently hugged Jim. "How many years were you in the system?" Phoebe was uncomfortable using Jim's language.

"9 long hard years. A fuck head would serve less time for drugs" Jim eyes narrowed in hate for the system.

Phoebe repeated the question she had to know the answer to "What happened to you there?"

Jim laughed a strangled laughed "A lot of things happened to me there."

"Please tell me." Phoebe encouraged.

Jim didn't know where to start so he started from the beginning. "My first foster parents had a regimented routine and were quick to dish out enhanced disciplinary techniques." Jim had a bitter smile on.

"What are they?" Phoebe asked but knew it was bad.

Jim swallowed "being hosed down, sleep deprivation, locked in a cupboard, press-ups, laps around the yard. That sort of shit. They wanted to adopt eventually and there were fostering two boys and one girl. They wanted a little girl and the other boy was younger so he was their preference – more easy to mould into their ideal. I got into trouble for things that weren't my fault and they had nailed down the silent treatment. I didn't understand why I was treated differently. I acted out so I got into more trouble. As I found out later it wasn't the worst home to be in."

Phoebe took Jim's words in and then said softly "What happened at the next home?"

"There wasn't a next home for a while. I was shifted around. Odd days here and there, travelling the length and breadth of the state, wherever there was room. The next proper stop was a group home. It was overcrowded. The kids would beat-up on each other, steal from each other, and the minder used violence to keep the kids in line."

"Were you hit very often?" Phoebe bit her lip to hold back tears.

"Yeah but we all were. I learnt then to keep my head down and lock away my stuff. The early bird catches the worm became my mantra so that I could be fed and have warm water. The home was eventually given to new management."

"Did it get better?"

"They sorted out the overcrowding problem and as a result I was moved on. I stayed for a while in another home but they wanted to adopt permanently and I didn't measure up. The next home wasn't great." Jim was opening up but he wouldn't let Phoebe know the worst of it. "I ran away and was sent to a Detention Centre. It was an easy solution for the state. But I learnt not to run after that. After my release, I was sent to another home. They owned a farm and I was expected to work hard in any whether. The foster dad was alright, he taught me how to do DIY and to fish but his wife was a bitch. She was good at harsh criticism, yelling at me and ridiculing me. Again, there was some hope that I might be adopted but that never came through. I could never meet her expectations and her punishments included destroying my belongings which made me react. I had a discman that a teacher gave me along with some old CDs. She also gave me books here and there. My foster mom would take a CD and snap it if I did something wrong. She then would egg her husband on to beat me. She eventually chucked me out and I didn't hand myself over to the cops. I lived off the street and then gave myself a new identity. I'm never going back Phoebe. Not ever. Not even for the few months until I'm 18."

"I can understand why." Phoebe agreed. She didn't want Jim to go back either. "How did you get that scar? The one on your abdomen."

"In the detention centre. I got into a fight with a kid who was older than me and who had a knife. Some of the kids in the detention centre were harden criminals and I was a lost runaway."

"The scars on your shoulders." Jim couldn't say that he had cigarettes put out on him when he was a little kid. It would mean going into a truly painful part of his past that he couldn't share just yet. Phoebe saw Jim struggling so she didn't push. He had told her enough and she was sure that Jim would tell her in his own time. "Did you tell anyone?"

"They knew. They saw the signs. But what could be done? I was already in state care. Most didn't do anything. Some gave me an ice-cream or a chocolate bar to make me feel better. No-one wanted to adopt me." At first Jim didn't understand why no-one wanted to adopt him but he held out hope. Then he thought that there must be some reason why he was rejected and unwanted time and time again. He tried hard to meet expectations but then accepted he just wasn't worthy enough to be loved by someone who wasn't obliged to.

"How was school like?" Phoebe asked hoping that Jim had some respite. After all he mentioned the teacher.

"I had already skipped before mom had died. But after she died I was the kid who was too quiet and was wearing cheap clothes. I got picked-on but that was small fry compared to the harshness of the homes. I got passable grades without really trying. I could've done better."

"But that teacher was nice to you." Phoebe said hopefully.

"Phee, she wanted to do something when it was out of her power to protect me. It was out of pity that she showed me a way to escape through books and music. But she never did anything more." Jim looked at a boat in the distance and then looked at Phoebe who had a pensive look "What are you thinking?"

"That all I've ever had to gripe about was how dad wouldn't allow me to pursue an acting career but then had relented on Teddy going into music. Teddy's my brother. I thought it was unfair but now…"

"Phoebe, I didn't tell you my past so that you could compare lives. You wanted to understand and I just wanted to be truthful with someone. If you want to be an actress be an actress. I said before you have an amazing talent and you're beautiful." Phoebe blushed. Jim wanted Phoebe to achieve her dreams since she was more than capable so continued "But you love creating and you have an artistic talent. You know all there is to know about architecture around the world and their influences. Go for whatever it is you want to go for. You'll succeed."

Phoebe took in Jim's words. Phoebe then said sheepishly "So your 17 and at college?"

Jim shrugged "Studying is easier when there's no-one constantly wearing you down."

"You're very driven. Look how hard you work. Why? The real reason this time." Phoebe's demand was a soft one.

"Most of the people who were involved in hurting me were let off in some form or other. The stress of raising an orphan or running a group home. Ill health. It was all about context. The lawyers didn't really care as long as they got paid at the end of the day."

"So you want to defend kids like you?"

Jim nodded "Eventually."


	7. Stand by me

The moon had risen in the sky and the sky was becoming darker.

Jim looked at his watch. "It's late I should walk you home." Jim said to Phoebe but he didn't want to let her go.

"I want to stay with you." Phoebe held Jim slightly tighter afraid that if she let go he'd fade away.

"Phee, your parents are probably wondering where you are." Jim stroked Phoebe's face trying to comfort her.

Phoebe shook her head "I don't want to leave you on your own. Not after what dad did. How can I go back home knowing that he had you hurt?"

"Phoebe don't give up on your family. They'll make mistakes but it's shit not having one. You have to forgive." Jim knew that from experience.

Phoebe nodded knowing that her mom would want her to be home and that her mother would never condone her father's actions. "When will I see you again?"

"Soon." Jim promised knowing that Phoebe would be all he ever needed in life and he would do anything for her. Her looks had attracted him but it was the kindness, the sense of adventure and the joy she emanated that he was intoxicated with. "Where do you live?"

"I'll text mom and ask her to pick me up." Phoebe got out her phone. As she texted she shivered from the wind.

Jim put a protective arm around her. "Then I'll stay with you until then."

* * *

Ana picked up Phoebe after having heard from Christian what happened with Wilson. She was thankful that her daughter was safe and willing to go home on her own accord. She suspected that James Parker probably encouraged her daughter to do the right thing.

Ana got out of the car and introduced herself "Mr Parker it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, ma'am. Please call me Jim" Jim shifted uneasily under the concerned look that Ana gave him.

Ana knew that Jim was in a great deal of pain but was trying to ignore it. "Jim, I heard that you had a run in with our security personnel. Mr Grey apologises unreservedly for what happened. So do I. We will pay for any medical treatment you need. I would like to talk to Phoebe alone for a moment. Please excuse us but wait around."

"Yes ma'am." Jim said politely and headed to a bench.

Ana took Phoebe's arm in hers and went for a stroll. "Your dad didn't know what Wilson was going to do. He told them to keep a closer eye on you and he ordered a background check. Wilson has been fired for what he did to Jim. Ok?"

"Good" Phoebe responded and was relieved that her dad didn't have anything to do with harming her friend.

"We would like to have a chat with both of you." Ana then bit her lip as she always did when she was nervous "But just to confirm are you in a relationship with Jim?"

"Mom, we're friends." Phoebe informed her mother but she knew she wanted to be a lot more than that to Jim "We went for hotdogs in the end and then went up the Seattle Space Needle. We've talked a lot. I have feelings towards him. We like each other. But mom I haven't even kissed him yet."

"Ok. But if you and Jim want to see where this is heading then you will be chaperoned. No hanging out in your room. You'll also take security wherever you go. It will give us peace of mind that you're safe." Ana told her daughter.

"and dad is ok with that?" Phoebe was now surprised.

"Yes. It was his idea. A rather old fashioned idea but one that we can work with" Ana hugged her daughter.

* * *

Jim had agreed to meet with Christian Grey because he couldn't deny Phoebe Grey anything. Jim followed Ana and Phoebe into their home and then into the dining room. He looked around and was intimidated by the sheer luxury on display. He knew he didn't belong. As Jim visually checked out the exits Christian watched him. Christian thought that Jim looked like a cornered animal trying to work out what his escape routes were. It was a sign that Jim had suffered somewhat in his life. Carrick, Grace and Elliot were there too. Jim had clocked Grace. She had treated him kindly at hospital but doubted that she would remember him. However, Grace looked at Jim with recognition. She remembered how she had shed tears for him after she had examined him.

"James Parker, I'm Christian Grey. You know my brother Elliot Grey. This is my dad Carrick Grey. He is a lawyer and will be presiding over this evening's proceedings to ensure legality. This is my mom Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey. She wants to check you over later." Christian stood up to shake Jim's hand but Jim refused to take it.

"Where's your henchmen?" Jim glared. If he was going to be beaten again he wanted to be prepared though he doubted his body could take much more.

"No-one will be harmed in my home" Ana declared and Jim believed her. Jim now knew where Phoebe got her temperament from. Jim nodded but didn't relax.

Elliot knew it was his turn to speak though he wished he could avoid it "Jim take a seat. I... Regrettably... It has come to my attention, through the background check my brother ran on you, that you are working a number of jobs. You were told when you joined my firm that moonlighting was expressly forbidden due to the dangers to yourself and others"

Jim was now terrified about losing his job permanently "I don't need to sleep. I mean don't sleep anyway. I've never done anything dangerous on site."

To the Greys Jim's little sleep requirement reminded them of Christian's and the reasons behind it. Grace felt the threat of tears. Elliot remembered how Jim had taken the beaten and he knew it was experienced. The kid obviously had gone through rough times and now he felt like a double-shit for what he was about to do. "I'm sorry Jim but the rules are the rules and I have to let you go." The only reason Elliot could say those words was because Christian had thought about supporting Jim through college via a hardship fund.

Christian observed Jim clench and unclench his fist trying to control his emotions at losing his job and what else he would lose with it. Christian couldn't wait to put Jim out of his misery and so quickly said "However, you're studying law and I would like to offer you a scholarship along with a living allowance so that you can continue to go to college. You could live in halls."

"What's the catch? That I leave your daughter alone. Try bribery because a beating didn't work." Jim said a lot braver than he felt. Christian was sure that the words 'Fuck off' was on the tip of Jim's tongue but the kid seemed to have more self-control than he did at his age. Christian began to esteem Jim.

"Phoebe has made up her own mind about you. I respect that. This is partly my way of trying to make up for what my security personnel did to you. However, I am concerned about your past. The background check…" Christian had ordered Welch to find out what he could about Jim's childhood as top priority. Christian was awaiting the results but this gave Christian the opportunity to give Jim a chance to confess this himself.

Jim's head was pounding, screaming at him to get out before he was dumped back into a Group home or a Juvenile Detention Centre. Never again was he going to be in a situation where he was constantly hurt and felt helpless to defend himself for fear of the further trouble it would bring. Juvy. Solitary. Tasers. Withholding food.

Phoebe interrupted her dad understanding Jim's fear. "Dad, Jim has told me all that there is to know about his past. It's nothing bad. I mean it's bad but Jim hasn't done anything bad." Phoebe realised that she said too much after promising Jim she wouldn't say anything. She expected Jim to be mad at her but Jim gave a slight smile at Phoebe's flustered explanation. Jim couldn't be angry when Phoebe was again standing up for him but this time against her own father. Jim admired her spirit. So did Ana. She wished she had been like her daughter all those years ago with her step-father and it was Christian who was being judged.

Christian was surprised by Phoebe's interruption. Whatever happened in Jim's past he had given a version of the story to Phoebe. But it also added to Christian's concern that Jim was running away from something. He wondered what that something was and if it could harm his daughter.

Grace realised she had to say what she knew "Jim I recognise you and I think you recognise me. You're Jamie Paston. But you always shortened your name to Jim. I treated you after you were removed from a foster home. You ran from the hospital." Grace remembered each and every abused child who had come into her care and she tried to do something for all of them but when Jim ran she couldn't do anything. She had a second chance now.

"I don't know who you're talking about." Jim tried to remain calm but his heart was racing. He was choosing between the flight or fight response. He had mostly chosen flight all his life because it meant that he could fight on another day. He knew he should make a break for it but then felt Phoebe grasp his hand.

"Christian, Ana, Carrick and Elliot can you leave me alone with Jim." Grace requested "Phoebe I think Jim would be more comfortable if you stayed. Jim, I need to see to your wounds and I want to have a chat with you alone."


	8. You'll never walk alone

Christian saw the fear creep into Jim's eyes. It was a fear that he was familiar with. A fear which was felt when there was no way out and what was to follow would not be worth living through. Christian felt it was best to follow his mother's orders so that Jim finally got some medical attention and then maybe he would begin to trust that they weren't there to hurt him.

When Christian went into his lounge, he got out his blackberry and texted Welch Jim's actual name. He wondered what the preliminary background check would return. Paston was a name he was familiar with. He knew it wouldn't take too long as there was probably a live record either with the Police or Child Protective Services since Jim was a run away.

* * *

"I'm not going to allow them to take you" Phoebe whispered comfortingly to Jim. Jim smiled but he was trying to figure a way out of this mess. It was stupid to come here. Phoebe Grey had seriously affected his judgement.

"Jim can you take your top off for me" Jim did what he was told with Phoebe's help. Grace then felt Jim's ribs and then the fractures. She knew Jim should go to the hospital but also knew that Jim would bolt at the suggestion. She noted the various scars on his body. She tried hard to hide the anger she was feeling that Jim had gone through more abuse. "Jim, how old are you now?" Grace asked gently "If you have run away we can help you."

"How?" Phoebe asked defiantly.

"We'll inform the authorities. Find Jim a safe place to stay." Grace reassured her granddaughter.

"Safe? How can you be sure it will be safe? Grams you said that you had to treat Jim after he was removed from a foster home. Was that foster home safe?" Phoebe was determined to protect Jim. Jim was in awe of Phoebe. She had so much fire to her.

Grace shook her head and said "No". She knew exactly what had been done to Jim. She hadn't been surprised that Jim had taken his chances on the street rather than risk being sent back to that home.

Phoebe continued "How can we be sure that he'll be safe now?"

"I'll think of something." Grace promised them both.

* * *

Christian received an e-mail from Welch that had a 2MB attachment to it. Christian skimmed read the two documents so that he had a gist of who Jamie Paston was. "Fuck! Ana, Jim is Frances Paston's son. Frances died whilst practicing her lifestyle choice."

Ana understood Christian's worry. Frances had been Christian's sub before Ana was finally with Christian. But Frances also had a BDSM relationship with Paul Clayton. The brother of her boss at Clayton's Hardware Store. Paul had brutally attacked Frances after she became pregnant with Jamie, Paul's baby, and Ana was sure that Paul Clayton had taken advantage of her whilst drunk. After Frances was beaten up Christian had taken care of her but then had cut off contact to start his new life with Ana. Paul Clayton had got off lightly from the assault charges due to the stress he faced through College finals. The judge had also gone to Princeton and so had a soft spot for Paul.

Christian ran his hand through his hair, he was greatly concerned. _Why was Jim interested in Phoebe? Was it revenge for him using Frances the way he did many brown-haired women with a high-pain threshold? Was Paul Clayton, Jim's father, in on it? Or was Jim just a kid who deserved a break?_

"I think he's a good kid, Christian. He has more reason to hate his father than even us. Also, there's no way he could know about Frances' previous partners is there?" Ana reassured Christian. Christian remembered how Jim revered his daughter and agreed with Ana's assessment. Ana then remembered. "I thought Frances had a sister."

"When Frances died her sister had a stroke. She was too ill to visit Jim let alone take him in. His dad, as we know, didn't want to know. He's got no-one." Christian confirmed. "Paul Clayton is a bastard." Christian finally portrayed the anger he was feeling at what had Jim had gone through, at what Frances had gone through and at what Ana had gone through because of Paul Clayton's self-centredness.

"What did you find out about how he spent his childhood?" Elliot asked knowing it couldn't be good but he had always liked Jim and was concerned.

"It's bad." For Christian to say it was bad meant that it was truly bad since he used himself as benchmark. Christian then turned to Carrick and handed his blackberry over to his dad. Elliot read over his dad's shoulder. "Only 3 months after his mom died he was put into hospital. They gave the couple a second chance. The pricks blamed it on a grieving child. He was removed out of several homes for serious abuse. The fourth home turns my stomach. I can't blame him for running. He's only 17. Teddy's age."

Ana felt a great deal of sorrow. She couldn't imagine Teddy or Phoebe going through an ounce of what Jim had gone through.

Elliot was pissed "Great. So I'm the guy who fired a kid who was trying to make something of himself after he was given a deep and personal tour of hell."

"I'm the guy whose security beat up a kid" Christian retorted. He felt terrible to have added to Jim's experiences of being hurt.

"Only Wilson is responsible for that" Ana firmly reminded Christian.

Elliot had a thought "I'm going to have to call Kate first but I going to take him in. I'm sure you wouldn't be too keen for Jim to stay here. It's clear he's love-struck with Phoebe. But you can also see he's determined not to go back into the system. He'll do something stupid if he isn't offered a safe home."

* * *

Christian and Elliot went back to Grace, Phoebe and Jim. Ana and Carrick followed.

"Is everything ok in here?" Christian asked.

Grace nodded. "We're all done."

Elliot turned to Jim "Jim, I want to offer you a place to stay at my home. We can pick up your stuff from the room you're renting on the way to the hospital. How does that sound to you?"

"So you're not going to hand me over?" Jim thought this was too good to be true. He had a high opinion of Elliot Grey who treated all his workers with respect but he would never have expected this.

"We want to keep you safe Jim. That's all." Elliot confirmed.

"In terms of College I think it would be best to come clean and earn a degree in your own name." Christian advised, knowing what Jim had put himself through to go and guessing that would be the next thing Jim would worry about. "You'll have the same support as previously offered. But these are all decisions you have to make. You've proven you can make your own decisions even when faced with dreadful options."

Jim was surprised, more than surprised. No-one had ever helped him before. "Why are you doing this for me?"

"Because if anyone deserves a break you do" Christian replied. "So what do you say."

"Thank you. So much." Jim was almost speechless.


	9. My Girl

Phoebe and Jim were strolling around Seattle Asian Art Museum. They were exploring Asian art ranging from traditional Japanese textiles to contemporary Chinese painting.

Jim was happy but the only time he felt like this was by Phoebe's side. He wished he could be with Phoebe all of the time as well as forever.

"How are you settling into Uncle Elliot's?" Phoebe asked as they stopped at a painting that captured Jim's interest.

"It's ok. I guess I'm just expecting myself to mess it up and for your uncle to lash out" Jim admitted.

"He would never hit you Jim. He may drive you up the wall but he would never hit you" Phoebe reassured Jim.

"I can really wind people up" Jim rubbed the back of his neck.

"What happened to you was wrong. You didn't do anything to deserve it. You do realise that don't you" Jim didn't respond and Phoebe felt that Jim didn't believe what she was saying so she said "Dad said you might be feeling like this. He said if you want to talk to him he would listen and share his own experience. Grams adopted my dad, my Uncle Elliot and my Auntie Mia. Ted told me that my dad was abused and neglected for the first 4 years of his life and though Grams saved him it stayed with him. It took him having me and Ted to realise he didn't deserve it."

Jim was surprised that a person who was as successful as Christian Grey had been through what he had been through. He hoped that one day he would be able to achieve a small amount of success.

"He's done a lot for me already" Jim firmly replied hoping that it would signal the end of the conversation. He didn't want to inconvenience Christian further.

"He wants to help. Just think about it. Ok?" Phoebe urged but then changed the subject to the next one that was on her mind "How do you like Ava?" Phoebe had been very insecure about Jim meeting Ava. They had similar interests since both wanted to go into law and Ava was classically beautiful with her strawberry-blonde hair and green eyes.

Jim guessed at what Phoebe was thinking and said truthfully "She talks a lot."

"I thought you liked that" Phoebe pouted thinking about herself.

"I like hearing you talk. You have a wonderful story-telling ability. She asks too many questions. Before I've even finished an answer she's on to the next one. It's hard work keeping up especially when I'm trying to lie. I think she thinks I'm slow. Plus blonde has never been my type." Jim smirked.

Phoebe felt reassured but she sought more "So what is your type?"

"I have a very specific type. Sort of resembles you in many ways" Jim teased.

"Sort of?" Phoebe was playfully affronted. "I was going to invite you to do a Bond marathon with me but now …"

"Ok. Ok. You are exactly my type." Jim acknowledged and gave Phoebe a quick hug.

Phoebe smiled "Good. Though I should probably confess my type has had a recent change."

"Really, what caused that?" Jim asked in a mock serious voice but he was concerned how far off he was on Phoebe's ideal of a boyfriend.

"I couldn't resist that puppy dog look." Phoebe owned up.

It was Jim's turn to be affronted. "I look like a dog!"

"A puppy." Phoebe tried to soothe Jim.

"I think that may be worse. So I'm a cross-breed between baby Lassie and the man in the diet coke ad. Are you sure you're attracted to me?"

"Yes."

Phoebe wanted to reassure Jim that she was more than just a friend and that she was very much attracted to him. Phoebe stood on her toes to kiss Jim and Jim couldn't resist so he leaned in. He held Phoebe in his arms and kissed her. A small kiss at first developing into a deep kiss. It was the first time they had kissed and in that kiss Jim gave Phoebe all the love that he stored up over the years of being alone.

* * *

Christian spotted Paul Clayton at a Seattle business function. Christian despised the fuck who had a number of chances to help his own kid but turned his back. Paul Clayton was a Senior Managing Director at the small investment bank he was working for. He had married well and had a daughter. He now had the cars, houses and vacations that he had always wanted. Christian caught Paul looking lustfully at Ana from across the room and Christian felt like punching him in the mouth. Christian waited for his moment and then casually followed Paul into the gents. Ana watched her husband and was concerned about what Christian was going to do.

"How come the great Christian Grey is gracing me with his presence in the toilets?" Paul said with derision and a wide smile. "Or is this a regular thing for you?"

"Mr Clayton, I see that it took you 17 years to make MD. Well Done. You at least exceeded my expectations." Christian smirked knowing that he scuppered Clayton's chances of better jobs and promotions. It had been payback for Frances but most importantly Ana. "I met your boy. A great kid."

Paul's wide grin fell. "He's not my kid. I said it to his mother. I said it to his social worker. I told you once I wasn't going to pay for her mistake."

Christian grabbed Paul by the collar and slammed him against the wall. "After everything he's been through you still deny him. You're a heartless bastard." Christian shouted and punched Paul Clayton in the stomach. "Only you would get his social worker fired for harassment when she brought to your attention that he had been stabbed and was suffering from kidney failure just in case you found it in your heart to be a kidney donor. Luckily it didn't get that far because you don't have a heart. You knew then he had been removed from several homes for severe abuse. You could've saved him from any more harm for what it costs you to run one of your cars for a year by sending him to boarding school." Christian let Paul go.

Paul had to hold on to a sink to stop himself slumping to the floor. "He's not worth anything. He's been to juvenile hall. Do you think I want the likes of that around my daughter even if he was the result of the time I spent slumming?"

"He's twice the man you are. He's also dating my daughter and I commend her choice." Christian then revealed what he knew "I spoke to Frances' sister. She can still communicate if you ask the right questions. You can imagine her relief that someone had finally figured it out. Frances was going to petition the courts for a DNA test. Is that why you killed her? Jim couldn't identify the culprit then but he's seeing a therapist. A very expensive therapist who is worth every dime. Now that he doesn't have to struggle through each day to survive what do you think he'll remember?"

"Jamie Paston attracts trouble. I would suggest that you advise your daughter to stay away from him." Paul sneered.

"Is that a threat?" Christian challenged.

"An observation."

Christian punched Paul in the stomach again "That was for Ana. If you come near either Jim or my daughter I'll you hurt worst than what Jim has been through."


	10. He ain't heavy he's my brother

Elliot was pissed off at Christian and had avoided spending as much time with him as usual because he didn't want to lash out at his brother. However, Grace knew her boys needed to talk to each other and so had artfully arranged for them to meet to resolve the issue since neither was going to make the first move on their own accord. Elliot because once he got into this mood (which was very rare) it was near impossible to shift him out of it and Christian because he was worried about the emotional confrontation. Elliot glared at Christian as he took a seat opposite him.

"I fucked up. I'm sorry" Christian said from the off since he thought it was right that Elliot should be angry with him. "I lost my temper. He still didn't care what happened to his kid. Also, I shouldn't have told Paul Clayton that Jim was beginning to remember his mother's death more clearly. I just wanted him to know he hadn't got away with it."

Elliot took a deep breath before speaking "That's not the reason why I'm furious at you Christian. If I was in a room with any of those responsible for hurting Jim I would've lost my temper too but you ran additional background checks and you didn't care to fill me in. You spoke to his mother's sister without telling me. Jim is my responsibility and I would never forgive myself if something happened to him under my watch. When it comes to Jim you keep me informed just like you would if it was Ava. This doesn't happen again. Ok?"

"Yes" Christian readily agreed. "I was just looking out for Phee and Ana." Christian feebly explained.

"I know you were looking out for your family Christian but Jim is part of my family now and I want you to respect that. His welfare is of my concern" Elliot then decided to meet Christian half way. "Though I should thank you for pulling the number of favours you've pulled so that we got to keep him. The checks were fast tracked. It frightens me to think that Mia or I could've been in Jim's shoes just because we had lost our parents and Grace hadn't decided to take us in. You should talk to him. You're the only one who has been through what he went through. He doesn't talk to his therapist. He feels that since she's paid to listen she doesn't really care. Reminds me of someone I used to share a tent with." Elliot was laden with sadness that two people he cared about had seen the very worst of life.

"I'm here if he wants to talk." Christian knew it couldn't be forced. "I heard from dad that he's suing the State on Jim's behalf. It's frustrating that the fucks who actually hurt him can't be tried twice. How's he doing?" Christian enquired.

"Physically he's recovered. I still don't get why Wilson went after him like that. The bastard broke four of his ribs." Elliot said vehemently. "Jim should've pressed charges."

Christian sighed "Wilson has been protecting Phee since she started school and it was only two years ago that his niece disappeared with her boyfriend. Jim was very compassionate when he heard that from Phee."

"Or he's just used to being someone's punchbag" Elliot retorted.

"Probably" Christian acknowledged. "As far as I'm concerned there are no excuses. People have been finding excuses to beat up on Jim ever since he lost his mom and it stops now. Wilson will never have his job back. Though I've given him a minimal package for long service. How is Jim getting along with Kate and Ava?"

"Kate and Ava think he's adorable and it's nice not being the only guy in the house but I wish he would say something other than yes sir, no sir and how high should I jump sir. I can see he's scared of making a mistake but he doesn't put a foot wrong. If there is a raised voice he's on alert. He thinks he's a burden. He keeps his bag by his bed ready to go just in case I change my mind in an instant." Elliot ran his hand through his hair. He was deeply concerned for Jim's mental well being.

"It's going take time for him to realise he has a permanent home now. He would also have been aged out at 18 which would've given him a short term view. But he'll grasp that you'll always be there for him in the end. We all are." Christian reassured Elliot. "Did you give him the laptop and phone I sent?"

"Yes which reminds me I want access to the tracking system." Elliot again glared at Christian.

"On to it." Christian affirmed.

"Good. He hasn't touched the laptop since he still uses his old one though it belongs in the land before time. He says his one does what he needs it to do. The only reason he uses the phone is to tell me or Kate where he is or to receive calls from Phee. He's stubbornly independent. Though I'm used to that." Elliot said again thinking of Christian.

"I heard Ava complain to Ana that Jim's allowed a lock on his door and she isn't." Christian thought it was amusing that Elliot was now having the joy of navigating between the different needs of two kids "Ana told her to talk to Kate."

"Well for her there's no need for it." Elliot responded stiffly, he wanted to be fair to both his kids but sometimes allowances had to be made "I respect that if a bedroom door is shut, I knock. I think it's also important not to go rifling through their things when they're out. They'll always have their privacy. But Jim needs to feel safe in our home, that it is his room, he isn't a guest and a lock does that. Also I wasn't going to risk the floor boards being ripped up so that Jim has a place to stash his valuables. That's what he did at the lodging house. He's very careful of his belongings. He carried his bike down four flights of stairs despite the amount of damage to his ribs because he didn't trust me with it. Though he has some cheek. He offered to follow me home on his bike saying he didn't want to get my vehicle muddy but I insisted we put it in my pickup truck since he was definitely a flight risk."

"He probably thought you were born yesterday which given your frequent vacant expression…" Christian smirked.

"Christian I kicked your ass when I was 10 and I can do it again now." Elliot said, though mentally flinched at the scolding Carrick had given him.

"Like to see you try. How was his place like?" Christian had wondered because it seemed to have shaken Phoebe slightly.

"I was fucking appalled. I knew it was a bad neighbourhood but the building was structurally unsafe and his room was an old store room with no heating and no windows. He would've frozen in winter and suffocated in summer. The only luxury was a sink. He got rinsed on rent but then they probably guessed he was desperate for a place to stay and to stay hidden." Elliot was still reeling from the injustice that Jim had had to face.

"He was smart with hiding his identity this time round." Christian had evaluated from Jim's background checks. "Obviously learnt from the first time he found himself on the streets. I guess it also helped being older and taller that he was able to hide for so long."

"He had good reason to stay hidden. He was telling the truth when he's he doesn't sleep. The most he gets is 3 hours tops and they're plagued with nightmares." Elliot frowned. "He doesn't believe in a free meal. I had the housekeeper complain that he was doing her work and my truck has never been cleaner. It looks like it's never been near a construction site."

"Whatever would that do for your manly image? And in regards to the housekeeper you could fire her." Christian suggested with a smirk.

"That's not a solution Chrissie and you're still in my bad books so behave. Given how his other foster parents treated him like that just isn't funny." Elliot explained why he had lost his sense of humour "I thought I would follow mom's mantra to help him spend his time productively. Language, music and sport as well as private tutoring so that he could get his high school diploma soon. I took him to the music store to see what he wanted to learn. He's a natural at the drums but Kate would kill me if I brought a set home so we settled on the guitar."

"I wonder how much persuasion that took." Christian sarcastically said, it still irked him that Ted preferred the guitar over the piano "Language?"

"He's fluent in Spanish. Picked it up at one of the homes he was in." Elliot informed. "We're trying French."

"Sport?"

"Boxing. There's a club down the street and I thought that learning how to defend himself would give him confidence. He was shown the basic moves and then the coach got him into a bit of sparring with me. Once he realised he was expected to punch back I discovered that he has a mean right hook. Wouldn't stop apologising. He's got a lot of pent up aggression but he's smart and he's got good reactions. He competes in Amateur Motocross Racing. He's fearless in racing – it's like he's got nothing to lose. Scares the life out of me."

"Well I guess he didn't have anything to lose for a long time. How did he get into that?" Christian was impressed. Motocross Racing was an extremely physically demanding sport.

"He helped out at the track. Another low paid odd job. He got to know one of the guys and he showed him how to ride a motorbike. When he was at his last home they used him as free labour. He would feed and clean up after livestock before and after school but he was also responsible for repairing machinery and equipment. He applied the skills he learnt to fixing up a motorbike that was practically a write-off. He worked other jobs to pay for spare parts and then started to race. Ava went with him when she found out where he was going, she has her mother's ability to not hear the word no, but he won't do that again in a hurry - Phee hit the roof. Her temper comes from you." Elliot chuckled at the memory.

Christian scoffed "You haven't seen Ana mad. With everything that's gone on we didn't get to discuss Phee's work experience."

"Well she got a lot out of it" Elliot smirked thinking of her relationship with Jim.

Christian ignored the jibe "Do you think architecture is what she wants to do?"

"If she does then she's got what it takes to do well. She's both practical and imaginative. Well until her head noticed…" Elliot joked.

"I know. It's a good job Jim is the kind of guy I want for her otherwise I would have locked her up in my ivory tower until she was 30. Do you think I should let her go into acting?" Christian finally said what was on his mind. His daughter had proven that she could make adult decisions and Christian was going to support her become an actress if that was what she wanted. He had said no for long enough.

"You mean given how well Teddy has done with music?" Elliot said, following Christian's train of thought.

"Something like that." Christian confirmed.

"Phee has sulked about it but she didn't fight you or side step you. If she felt that strongly about it ... well you saw how she defended Jim. She isn't shy." Elliot shrugged.

"So are you two done talking?" Grace asked her as she entered her kitchen. She gave her two boys a wide smile.

"Yeah." Both Elliot and Christian said together with awkward smiles.

"Good. You can help me arrange the marquee." Grace requested.

"Actually mom I have a multi-million dollar deal to resolve" Christian tried to wheedle out of it.

"… for my construction company" Elliot tried to get in on the lie.

"Christian you make millions on interest when sitting on the toilet. Elliot your ability to lie gets worse with age. You can both help your mother." Carrick retorted with a smile.


	11. Unchained melody

It was Phoebe's 16 birthday and the Greys were going to take Grace II (Christian's new boat) out for the occasion. Ana offered to host a party for her daughter's special day but Phoebe had wanted to go sailing so that Jim could have the experience of being on the open waters.

"Ted! I thought you weren't coming." Phoebe waved as Ted walked towards the boat. Phoebe was surprised that Ted had joined them since he was supposed to be touring.

"I'm not going to miss my sister's sweet sixteen. Plus I'll never miss out on a trip to the San Juan Islands. Dad worked his magic." After Ted boarded the boat, Ted went over to Jim "So you're dating my little sister?"

"Yes." Jim said proudly and smiled at Phoebe. Jim thought that if Phoebe's father didn't have a problem with him dating his daughter than her brother could hardly object.

Ted smirked "Good luck with that one. But just so you know if you hurt her I'm a ninja, dad can floor an Olympic Champion in kickboxing and Phoebe won the National fencing championship."

"Actually I'm more afraid of your mother." Jim quipped knowing that Ted was half-joking with his friendly warning.

Ted laughed at that "Smart man. She's the only one who knows how to shoot straight. So have you been sailing before?"

"No. First time." Jim replied.

"Has dad shown you the ropes?" Ted asked with a mischievous grin knowing what the answer would be.

Jim shook his head "He's given me a safety talk and briefed me on the technical data."

Ted laughed at having his suspicions confirmed. "Phee will give you an introduction. She's been into sailing ever since she wanted to be a pirate. I think deep down that's still her ambition." Ted was happy to be back with his family – he had missed them. "Happy Birthday, Phee. Here's your gift." Ted gave his sister a hug, followed by the gift and then went into the cabin to say hello to his parents.

Phoebe enjoyed sailing with her family on the Puget Sound to the San Juan Islands and Jim loved taking in the spectacular panoramic view of the Olympic mountain ranges. Sailing was definitely as good as he thought it was going to be.

"Is that a whale?" Jim pointed out thrilled. Christian got out the binoculars and gave it to Jim. "Thanks sir."

"Christian." Christian corrected.

Phoebe stood up to see. "It's an orca whale. Ted knows all about them. He's got a cub Naturalist badge!" Phoebe teased her brother. "When we went to see the migration of East Africa Ted did such a good job at being the guide right through to the end that he didn't realise we had all fallen asleep." Phoebe giggled.

"Actually it was only Ava and you who fell asleep on the journey back to the lodge. Plus, it's good to know your surroundings because at least I didn't pick up a rough-skinned newt on Mount Rainier and ask dad what it was. He almost had a heart attack."

Ana and Christian laughed with their kids. Jim smiled at the banter between brother and sister but the joke was lost on Jim.

"What's a rough-skinned newt?" Jim asked. He had never heard of it.

"It's a North American newt known for the strong toxin exuded from its skin. It is the same toxin found in pufferfish and a number of other marine animals." Ted replied enthusiastically. Jim gulped thinking that he didn't want his Phoebe anywhere near that thing. "Yeap that's how my dad looked like."

Phoebe rolled her eyes but she was happier because it was clear that Jim was relaxing with those that were closest to her.

On their return, Phoebe and Jim admired the unique skyline of Seattle at dusk, feeling the sea breeze and enjoying a glass of champagne. Jim then whispered "Happy Birthday Miss Phoebe Grey. I love you. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for showing me how good life can be. I never want to be without you." Jim then took Phoebe in his arms and they shared a long deep kiss. They loved each other so much.

But they were then embarrassed when Ted said "Aww! My little sister is all grown up." Phoebe chucked an empty water bottle at him. "Hey that's not lady like. Whatever would your beau think?"

"That that's my gal!" Jim said firmly.

Phoebe giggled.

* * *

Phoebe and Jim were watching a movie. Ana had left them to it whilst she spoke to an agent about a transcript. Jim and Phoebe had shared many kisses and Phoebe wanted to go a bit further. But so far Jim had resisted her attempts despite appearing to want the same thing. She didn't understand.

"Phoebe, don't." Jim held Phoebe back as she tried to touch him.

"Why not?" Phoebe asked hurt by the rejection.

"I …" Jim still couldn't put into words the worst abuse he suffered.

"I know dad doesn't want us to go beyond first base but we don't have to hit a home run either. You don't have to be afraid of breaking his trust. I just want to touch you" Phoebe pleaded.

"Phee, it's not that. I love you. I want to be with you. Please believe me." Jim felt less of a man since he was unable to satisfy her wishes. He felt ashamed and wished he could disappear.

Phoebe reached out to touch Jim again and he flinched. It then dawned on Phoebe that Jim was actually scared to be touched sexually. She hated how much of Jim's childhood was filled with fear and sadness "Is it to do with your past?" Jim nodded. Phoebe then pieced together the puzzle. "We never spoke about the fourth home. That's where you got the scars on your shoulders and back isn't it? I shouldn't have pushed. I'm sorry. Are you ready to talk about what happened there?"

"What do you want to know?" Jim felt he owed Phoebe an explanation. But he clenched and unclenched his fist as he recalled what had been done to him.

"I want to understand what happened to you in the past which means I can't touch you now." Phoebe gently said.

"I was touched before. It wasn't pleasant. Being touched now brings it back. He used to say if I was ever with someone again it would be his face at the back of my mind. He's right." Jim felt an acute deep feeling of self-loathing.

"How far did it go?"

"All the fucking way. He was experienced in hurting kids. He selected love-starved children so that he could have his way with them. I fitted the profile for the type of kid he went for – orphan who had no visitors. But I remembered my mother's love and I felt that what he wanted was wrong. I resisted. I think that was a first for him - hence the scars on my back. I had been beaten before but this time I didn't have clothing on to protect me. The pain was so much I screamed until I lost my voice. He exhausted himself on beating me. The next time when I heard the belt come off his pants I knew what was going to happen to me if I refused to do something he wanted me to do to him. I refused anyway because I thought that if he exhausted himself again he may leave me alone. But he had learnt his lesson from the first time. He didn't tire himself out. By the time he was done with me I felt physically sick, unclean and humiliated. But during it I reacted and I hate myself for that. He said it showed that I wanted it but I didn't." Jim wanted to be believed by Phoebe - he couldn't give a shit what anyone else thought.

Phoebe fought back tears as she stroked Jim's back "I know you didn't. What about the cigarette burns?"

"He would smoke through it and when he was done with a cigarette he would stub it out on my shoulder. Just one more way to show how fucking worthless I am. I used to keep track of how far through the process he was through his smoking. The smell of that brand of cigarette still makes me want to puke. I want to please you I do. I just don't know how to get over it. I'll understand if you don't want to be with me anymore." Jim lowered his head in shame and put his hands on the back of his neck waiting to hear Phoebe's decision.

Phoebe curled up to Jim "Jim I'll always want you. You're everything to me and we'll work through this. I know you want to touch me. I've seen you look at me like you want to touch me which is why I didn't understand why you resisted me. How about I won't touch you but you can touch me?"

Jim didn't verbally respond to that suggestion. But he looked longingly at Phoebe and Phoebe guided his hand to her body.


	12. Gonna Fly Now

The Greys were getting ready for Grace's charity ball. They were dressing up in tuxedos and evening dresses. Jim was struggling with his bow tie because he had never had to tie one before but he was also nervous. He was meeting Phoebe's friends and those of the Greys for the first time. The Greys had accepted him but he was sure that others wouldn't and then the Greys would realise what a mistake they made in letting him in. But the Greys had wanted him to go to the ball and so he would try to brave it out.

Christian went to help Jim with his bow tie but Jim flinched from him. Christian instead gave Jim instructions and took off his own bow tie to demostrate. "You cross the ends. One should be longer than the other. Bring the longer end underneath the shorter end and then bring it out from the centre. That's it. Fold the shorter end horizontally. Place the longer end over the shorter end. Fold the longer end horizontally. Insert the longer end through the loop at the back of the shorter end. Then pull both ends gently to tighten the knot. There you go."

Jim followed Christian's instructions as he said them but then grumbled "I feel like a p…"

"Penguin" Elliot quipped, saving Jim from a disapproving look from Grace. "We all feel like penguins!"

"Yeah but you're the only one who is one" Christian remarked with a smirk.

* * *

Ana was brushing Phoebe's long hair so that it would be perfect for the ball. Phoebe took the opportunity to talk to her mom about Jim and how much it hurt her that she couldn't touch him.

"Mom I really love Jim with all my heart. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just know it." Phoebe said in earnest.

"I know that feeling Phee." Ana recalled her strong emotions towards Christian when they first met. She wasn't that much older than Phoebe and yet there was a strong connection with Christian that had spanned time and space.

"He hasn't met my friends yet. I think he expects me to be ashamed of him. But I'm proud to be with him. I wish…" Phoebe wanted to show the world that Jim was hers.

"What's the problem Phee?" Ana tenderly asked her daughter.

"I wish I could show him how much he means to me. I want to touch him. Cherish him physically. But he can't stand to be touched that way. I want him so badly and give him everything. I want him to know he isn't alone anymore." Phoebe's heart ached.

Ana stopped brushing Phoebe's hair and sat down next to her daughter. "He was hurt badly. Just be patient. He loves you. Anyone can see that." Ana tried to comfort Phoebe.

"I know mom. What they made him do and how they made him do it was just horrible. I don't understand how they could do that to a little kid. He would've been so scared…" Phoebe sobbed as Ana held her.

"Phee. I know how tough it is to know that the one you love is hurting but you are doing so well. Even in the very short amount of time that we've known Jim he is happier and you did that. He's going to struggle with intimacy because he was violated. It will be painful at first. Just like it was for your dad. In the beginning your dad didn't choose a good way of coping. But in time, and with me, he realised that touch could be gentle, loving and kind. He had to trust me so that he could let me in and I had to trust him so that he could be in control. Being in control helped him overcome the memories of when his mother's pimp had the power and control over him. For your dad it was the only way he could feel safe."

Phoebe understood and was sadden that her dad had gone through so much pain too.

"I love Jim so much. Just like you love dad." Phee then said with anger "They should never have been hurt."

"It's why we do these events. To try and give support to kids in tough situations." Ana sighed. _It was no where near enough!_

"Mom, I understand that there are truly horrible people in the world but it was so cruel to chuck Jim into juvy after that. Why would a judge do that? Anyone would've ran." Phoebe's anger was still raging.

Ana agreed "I know Phee. It's why gramps in suing the State."

"I wish Jim would see how amazing he is" Phee uttered desperately.

"Your dad still doesn't see it." Ana said sadly "That sort of thing just lingers, the shame and self-doubt is always there, but you learn to love your man with all his flaws. Your dad knows I couldn't be without him. He knows how much his children need him. With Jim we're just going to have to keep showing him how much he is treasured and wanted until he believes it." Ana advised. "Keep giving Jim all the love that you can."

"Mom, I know I don't say it enough but I'm so lucky to have you, dad and Ted. I don't know what I would do without all of you." Phoebe shuddered at the thought of being without her family and Ana continued to brush her hair so that it was smooth and silky.

* * *

Phoebe walked down the stairs in her crimson strapless evening dress with her hair cascading down her back. Jim was amazed by how stunningly gorgeous his girl was. He had never seen anyone look so radiant and elegant.

"My very own 007" Phoebe greatly admired Jim in his tuxedo.

"Bond. James Bond. I must be dreaming." Jim quipped.

"You didn't tell me you can do impressions" Elliot accused.

"I can only do movie quotes" Jim defended.

"He's really good" Phoebe asserted.

"Do Clint Eastwood" Elliot requested excitedly.

"You've gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" Jim did his impression.

"This man rocks." Elliot suggested another one "Bruce Willis"

"Can I swear?" Jim asked before he did it.

"Of course you can swear." Elliot then saw Grace glare at him. "But only this once."

"No fucking shit, lady. Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?"

"Awesome. Sylvester Stallone"

Jim took a pause and then quoted the words that saved his life. "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward." Jim knew that the movie was just lighthearted fun but those words rang true.

Phoebe put her hand in Jim's knowing what those words meant to him. He stroked her hand with his thumb deeply grateful she was there with him.

Elliot was oblivious, or seemingly oblivious. "This evening is going to be so much fun. I'll introduce you as a celebrity and you do an impression. Ok?"

Jim wasn't too happy at that suggestion.

Phoebe giggled at Jim's facial expression "I told you he'll drive you up the wall."


	13. RESPECT

Jim had never gone to a ball before and he didn't have any expectations of what it would be like. He took his cue from the Greys but he scanned the marquee like he always did when entering a room to ensure it was safe. It was full of Seattle's richest and most influential. He and Phoebe were greeted by Grace and Carrick who had got there early to host the event.

Phoebe held Jim's hand as they walked around the ball and as soon as she spotted her friends she dragged Jim to meet them. Jim summed them up as surfer dude, jock 1, jock 2, jock 3 and skater boy. Christian watched from afar. He wondered how Jim would fare amongst Phoebe's friends. They were the type of boys he used to brawl with and he wished Phee had better taste in friends. It had been one of the reasons why Christian had deemed Phoebe too immature to start an acting career.

"Phee!" The surfer dude greeted, engulfed Phoebe into a hug and Phoebe, to respond to her friend's hug, let go of Jim's hand. Jim knew that the surfer dude had resembled Phoebe's ideal man in terms of looks and intelligence and he felt the threat of losing her. The surfer dude was destined for an Ivy League college and he had long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and bum fluff growing on his chin, though Phoebe would've called it a goatee. "Who's this?" The surfer dude looked Jim up and down.

"This is Jamie Paston. I told you about him" Phoebe said puzzled. Jim knew the game that surfer dude was playing at.

"I don't recall" The surfer dude said dismissively. "Sorry what was your name again? Jack was it?"

"Yeah I can see why a 5 letter word would be difficult for you to remember" Jim replied coolly.

"It's because you're sooooo stoned, dude" Phoebe joked at Billy's surfer image not realising that there was a pissing contest happening around her. "Jim this is Billy and this is Noah, Mike, Adam and Matt. I've known them since I started school. They're my best friends."

_Or my competition!_ Jim thought as he watched them check out his girl whilst they said hello to him.

"Hi." Jim acknowledged them briefly before turning to Phoebe "Are the people I saw you dance with the second time we met here too?" Jim definitely remembered Phoebe dancing with some girls and thought that her pretty looks out shone them all.

"They should be. They're Ava's friends so she'll be with them. It was her party which is why I could go even though I'm not 18" Phoebe explained.

_So all Phee's friends were guys and they wanted to get into her pants! Brilliant. _Jim mentally assessed.

"Her old man keeps her on a tight leash but it looks like he relenting." Jock 1, Noah, said. Noah hoped this would be a positive sign of things to come with Phoebe. Noah just needed to get rid of the hillbilly who was currently with her.

"He's just being a father" Jim defended Christian who had been good to him. "How did you guys meet?"

"We all had to walk the plank. Ever since then Phee's been the Captain of our hearts." Skater boy chimed in.

Phoebe blushed at the flattery and warned "Yo Ho Ho! I'll make you walk the plank again if you're not careful."

Her friends laughed.

"So what about you? How did you get together with our Phee?" Surfer dude, Billy enquired.

"I went the old fashioned route. You know… er…fight an organ-utan… beat my chest, knock her over the head with my club and take her back to my cave." Jim jested but then not to be out done in flattery added "Then I realised I had a pirate on my hands and it was me who was captured."

Phoebe blushed an even deeper shade of red "Would you guys stop!"

Jim looked around for Ava, a friendly face. He wanted to get away from this pissing contest which he was sure he would lose. He already knew that he didn't deserve Phoebe Grey. What he saw alarmed him. His heart fucking stopped. Ava was being cuddled by a man he knew from foster home number 4. He had been one of many but he never forgot a face even though he was never told a name. Jim was made to earn his keep in an incredibly despicable way. The foster father at home number four had received a suspended sentence for harming Jim but it was only later, after another child had experienced the same thing, that the true extent of the foster father's nature had become apparent. Jim felt responsible for the next kid's pain. He knew he should've said something but felt that he wouldn't be believed and be punished for lying. He took the route of self-preservation. Jim felt a massive amount of self-loathing.

Jim watched as the man lowered his hand to Ava's bottom and tapped it. To anyone else it would have seemed like an over friendly gesture but Jim knew different. Jim wanted to get Ava away from him and it seemed that Ava wanted to get away too.

"Phee, who is that man with Ava?" Jim asked in a seemingly untroubled voice. He didn't want to worry Phoebe.

"That is Judge Meyer. Don't mind him." Phoebe shrugged "He's always friendly, jolly. He just likes to cuddle."

But Jim knew that Meyer wasn't just interested in getting a cuddle.

"I'll get us some drinks. The canapes look good too. See you guys later." Jim then left Phoebe to her friends. He wondered if he should tell her that they were interested in her but knew if he did that he would just come across as the jealous boyfriend. Jim went over to Ava determined to protect her "Is he bothering you?" Jim didn't care if he was being rude but then again neither did the Greys. There was something they didn't trust about the judge but they had nothing to go on and it was just gut instinct.

Meyer recognised Jim and Jim stared back with a look of sheer hate on his face. It was noted by Elliot and Christian who were also about to give Ava a way out of spending more time with the judge.

Ava looked gratefully at Jim and then said "We should take our seats." Ava lead the way. "It's a boy girl seating arrangement. Grams did the table plan so that you knew at least one person on your table. Unfortunately, you're stuck with me. It's not etiquette to be on the same table as a partner." Ava explained why Phoebe would be seating on a different table from Jim.

"So I have to sit next to a stranger and make small talk?" Jim didn't think that the evening could get any worse but with his luck...

"I'll switch the place cards so that I can sit next to you" Ava reassured.

A delicious 10 course meal was served. The courses were carefully planned to complement each other gastronomically and each course was paired with a different wine. The table settings were elaborate and included all the silverware and glassware that was needed for the entire meal. Ava caught Jim looking overwhelmed at the table setting.

"We just work our way in" Ava mentioned quietly to Jim.

Jim followed what everyone else was using to eat his meal but then he saw Noah (jock 1) smirk at him. The prick knew he had no idea what he was doing and Jim felt embarrassed.

There was polite conservation, mostly on politics and the state of the economy. Jim felt his head get heavy as he heard rich people speak about being poor. He knew they had no real experience of the hardships faced but he felt anything he said would be out of turn. Christian slightly frowned as he watched Jim struggle to control his emotions - the clench and unclench of his fist under the table was a sign. Christian was on a different table so he couldn't say anything himself. Christian was also worried that Ava was being unusually quiet. Grace had felt that if anything was said that could potentially upset Jim that Ava would be there to intelligently shift the conversation.

"So what happens now?" Jim asked Ava after the meal was finished and a bell rang.

"The women line up and are auctioned for a dance one by one. The men place bids on them." Ava informed him but then rolled her eyes "It's an old tradition."

Phoebe suddenly popped up and kissed Jim "Don't bid for me. It's not the done thing for partners to do that. Everyone still talks about dad breaking the rules for mom." Phoebe then left to take her position.

Grace and Ana gave a speech about the charity they were raising money for and then Carrick commenced with the auction. He had gotten each lady to write a sentence on a cue card so that he could introduce them on terms they were comfortable with.

"Tina Hilton. A southern belle who can twirl flags and batons. Who will start the bid at $1000."

_Holy Shit!_ There was no way Jim could afford to bid for Phoebe even if he did want to follow in her dad's footsteps. His heart felt heavy when it came to her turn.

"Phoebe Grey. A pirate who has sailed the Seven Seas and cross swords with Blackbeard."

Phoebe waved "Ahoy, me Hearties!"

There was a collective laugh and Jim smiled at his girl's coquettishness with the crowd. She was a natural star. It started a bidding war between Noah and Billy. Billy won given that his dad was richer than Noah's. Christian huffed and Ana patted his arm. Jim felt like punching both boys. But Jim was soon side-tracked from that idea when he saw a look of terror flash on Ava's face when Meyer seemed eager that it was her turn.

"Ava Grey. A gymnast who can walk the balance beam and play the flute at the same time."

"$100000" Meyer said cutting to the chase. There were no further bids and Jim was tempted to lift the arm of any man within reach. He felt powerless to protect someone he considered a sister.

Ava politely smiled but she was already looking at the exit. When the auction came to a close Ava walked out of the marquee. Jim followed but first he went with a gut feeling and slipped one of the dessert knives up his sleeve.

"Ava. Wait." Jim called "What's going on here?"

Ava was in tears "He creeps me out. He kept hovering during my work experience with gramps. He's always too close."

"Has he done anything to you?" Jim demanded an answer.

"No. It's what he says. I told him I was into diving and he…." Ava closed her eyes.

"I know his jokes" Jim said angrily. Ava was surprised by the intensity of Jim's hate but she wasn't sure who it was directed at. Ava thought it was more for himself. Jim had never told Ava about his past and avoided awkward questions through lying. Jim hadn't even gone into that much detail with Phee – he only gave her what she needed to know and he never lied to her when she asked direct questions. He didn't willing divulge the shit he went through. The Grey elders, as he called them, knew because of his record.

"I'm not dancing with him." Ava said firmly through her tears "He doesn't normally come to these events. I think he's here for me."

"Why haven't you spoken to your mom or dad?" Jim asked knowing if Elliot or Kate knew they would protect Ava.

"Mom is always chasing a story and dad ...he's been too concerned about you. But he isn't your father he's mine. I'm sorry if you think I'm being horrible but I don't care" Ava cried bitterly, taking out all her fears on Jim - someone she could defend herself against. "I always thought dad wished he had a boy. Someone he could do boy stuff with. Now he has. The only thing we do together is diving. I knew I wasn't good enough and you've proven it."

Jim was surprised by Ava's outburst "That's not true. Ava, if it was a choice between you and me it would be you every time and he'd cut me off in the instant. There's no contest."

Ava then revealed to Jim how long she had been feeling second best for her dad "When he taught Ted to play the guitar I wanted him to teach me too but he didn't even think about it. It was Ted can play this and Ted can play that."

"Did you ask him to teach you?" Jim expected the answer to be no. He couldn't imagine Elliot denying Ava anything. Jim knew that Ava was being unfair to her parents because she was scared and ashamed by Meyer harassing her. Every little perceived hurt was coming to the surface because Ava felt vulnerable. He hated Meyer even more for doing this to her.

"I was too scared that he would say no. That he wouldn't have time. He never offered." Ava wiped her tears.

"Ava, your dad taught you how to speak Spanish and to dive. If you'd asked him to teach you how to play guitar he would've done. You can do that tomorrow. You can tell he's proud of you just by the way he looks at you. The look he gave you when you were showing him your dress was one of absolute joy." Jim decided to hug Ava so that she was comforted. It was brotherly hug. "Can you remember what he said to you?"

"That none of the boys were good enough for me and he only allowed Lucas to date me because he was sure that Lucas was closeted gay. Mom clipped him at the back of his head." Ava chuckled.

"And can you honestly think that they would let Meyer anywhere near you if they knew he was harassing you? Elliot would have to hold off Kate but then would sucker punch Meyer" Jim said firmly.

Ava chuckled again. "Thank you. I hope dad never has to choose between us. I couldn't imagine you not being part of our lives now that you are. You're the best brother I could have. You really shouldn't let Phoebe's friends get you down. Together they wouldn't have a clue which way to face on a bike."

Phoebe had gone out to look for Jim after her dance since she wanted the next dance with him. When she saw Ava in Jim's arms she felt distraught. She couldn't believe that Jim would do something like this to her with her cousin but yet here it was in front of her very eyes. Phoebe wasn't one to cry when it came to her own pain. She held her head high and decided to fight back. She went in search of Noah or Billy. Right now she didn't care which. As she turned Jim looked up and realised how hugging Ava would look like to Phoebe who had always been insecure about him and Ava.

Jim stopped his embrace immediately but said "Ava you should speak to Kate or Elliot about Meyer but I promise you he won't go near you again. I promise."


	14. I don't feel like dancin

Elliot saw Ava look upset as she went to her mother. Elliot went to her. Christian saw Phoebe starting to flirt with Noah Gates. He hated the prick. The Grey boys both knew that some sort of commotion was happening with their children. They then saw Jim go back into the marquee. Jim looked at Phee flirting. He was distressed by it but he knew he had caused her to be upset and he didn't know how to make it right. He hated himself for hurting her. But then he saw Meyer and that was the easier of the two problems to tackle. Jim purposefully went behind Meyer and whispered "Meet me outside". There was a blankness to Jim's voice but Meyer read what he wanted to read into Jim's words.

Jim was waiting by a tree. He was scared of being alone with Meyer but he would do anything for the Greys. He owed them. Meyer went up to Jim and went to reach out for him. Once Meyer did that Jim knew that Meyer was still the bastard he always was. Jim pinned Meyer to the tree. He was no longer a kid. He had built up muscle through hard work. "You really don't know how to keep your hands off children do you?" Jim felt sick being in this man's presence.

"You wanted it. You could've stopped it. You still want it" Meyer said lustfully. "It's why you invited me out here."

Jim held the dessert knife against Meyer's penis. "Can you stop me now? I haven't even drugged you. I invited you here to give you a warning. You come near a kid again I'll cut your dick off. You go anywhere near Ava again I'll cut your dick off and choke you on it."

Jim then stood a step back. If he was anywhere else other than on Grey property he may not have been able to walk away.

"Jim are you ok?" Elliot called. There was anger following from him. Raw anger that could only flow from a father whose children had been threatened. Christian wasn't sure what was going on but he had Elliot's back. Elliot didn't get angry without good cause so he knew it was bad.

"Fine" Jim firmly replied. He felt in control for once. Jim slipped the knife back up his sleeve.

"He attacked me. You saw him attack me. He has a knife." Meyer wanted to get Jim in trouble. To show Jim who was boss. He wanted Jim chucked back into a juvenile detention centre but this time he would let Jim know it was him.

"Shut the fuck up. I want to hear his side of the story" Elliot snapped. He was close to grabbing Meyer and hurting him badly. Ava had already told him about Meyer's unhealthy interest her.

"It'll be a lie" Meyer scoffed.

Elliot ignored Meyer but spoke to Jim "Jim, how do you know Judge Meyer? No bullshit. The truth." Elliot knew that Jim would be tempted to lie because he was ashamed of his past.

But Jim confirmed Elliot's suspicions because he trusted Elliot "I remember him from home number four." Jim again felt self-loathing.

Christian was now beyond angry but Elliot was so far gone with anger that he was struggling to control it.

"Jim, give me the knife." Christian ordered and Jim gave him the knife. Jim also trusted Christian enough to be sure that Christian wouldn't hurt him or allow him to be hurt. "I would've removed him from the grounds if you said." Christian informed him. He was cross that Jim hadn't trusted them to say something sooner but instead took action that could've put Jim into trouble.

"He's a judge" Jim unemotionally explained.

"I don't give a fuck. I don't want abusers in my parents' home. I don't want them anywhere near Ava. Jim I don't want them near you again." Elliot declared and took the words right out of Christian's mouth. Elliot then ordered Jim to "Go back into the marquee."

Christian stopped Jim by placing his hand on Jim's shoulder and Jim stilled at the touch. Christian removed his hand before saying "Thank you for looking after Ava but you may also want to save my daughter from the clutches of Noah Gates and before I pour that bottle of tequila he's trying to get her drink down his fucking throat." Elliot had to get Jim out of the frame but Christian thought that Jim might as well be helpful at the same time. Jim smiled at that. He knew that Christian was telling him that he hadn't fucked up so badly that Christian had changed his mind about him.

Once Jim had gone back inside, Elliot went up to Meyer "Get out of my parents' home and take this with you." Elliot then kicked Meyer in the crotch. "and that" Elliot then slammed a fist against Meyer's back followed by a punch to the stomach. Elliot knew he would be charged for assault so he was going to make this beating last for Meyer. It was worth it. Meyer was now dazed and kneeling on the floor. Elliot finished Meyer off with an elbow to the head.

"Enough Elliot." Christian then turned to Meyer "Most child abusers have previously downloaded images of child abuse before they went on to abuse. I wonder if I tip off the police now what they would find on your computer. Expect them to be waiting when you get home. My security will drive you. Its not like you can walk." Christian smirked.

* * *

Jim saw Phoebe avoiding him and enjoying time with her friends. She had obviously been drinking but was resisting to drink anymore. He went up to her when Noah was encouraging Phoebe to take another shot "Come on Phee, you never used to be this boring a few months ago"

"No Noah! I don't want to. I didn't want to drink at Club 9. My dad went mental when I came home drunk. I wasn't allowed to go to New York because of that." Phee then saw Jim and scowled at him. She grabbed the shot glass.

Jim knew she was talking about the night she saw him working at the nightclub. "Phee, you don't need to get drunk over a prick like me or because you're being told to by a prick like him." Jim gently admonished.

"Why were you holding Ava?" Phoebe demanded.

"Because the scum of the earth was bothering the nearest I'll have to a sister" Jim hoped that Phoebe understood his meaning and she did. She gave Ava a protective glance and was pleased that Ava was with her boyfriend, Lucas, and her mom, Kate.

"Do you think your boyfriend wants in on the fun?" Noah challenged "We're drinking Prairie Fire. Are you man enough to try?"

Jim knew he wouldn't win a drinking competition. Jim stayed away from alcohol since he felt that it could turn the pleasantest of people vicious. Jim had suffered at the hands of his third foster mom because of her not so secret alcoholism. She was agreeable during the day but it was at night that it became a problem. He had looked after her, mopped up her sick, put her to bed when she was passed out, went without and lied to his social worker about bruises. It had been the closest he had been to being adopted but then in a drunken fit of rage she suddenly sent him back without a moment's notice. That had hurt.

Jim decided to bait Noah another way and to finish the pissing contest once and for all. "I'll pass. Thanks. Can't stand the taste of Tabasco."

Noah thought this was funny. He started to laugh at Jim and he felt that he could definitely take Phoebe from this loser. "You're such a faggot."

"Because I don't like Tabasco?" Noah nodded and smirked. Jim took the Tabasco hot sauce with a steady hand and drank half of it without spilling a drop. "I said I can't stand the taste not that I couldn't swallow it. Your turn. Your half of the bottle."

Noah gulped but took the bottle of Tabasco sauce and shakily he poured the bottle in his mouth. He spat it out, which sprayed Tabasco sauce over his tux ruining it, as it set his mouth on fire. He started to guzzle glasses of water. Jim smirked at him. "Prick."

Phoebe was more worried than impressed "How did you learn to do that?"

"Foster home number 1. I had to keep it down or else. You get used to it. Let's dance." Jim offered not wanting to spoil the remainder of the night for Phoebe. Jim requested the DJ to play 'I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by the Scissor Sisters. Jim wanted to entertain Phoebe despite not wanting to dance and with this song playing he could goof around with her. He twirled Phoebe around on the dance floor, they clapped hands, they shimmied towards each other and as Jim did the robot Phoebe pulled Ava and Lucas on to the dance floor so that they could dance as a group. They then danced to the I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas and enacted songs from Grease.

* * *

_To my 3 regular reviewers for this story: You have given me ideas when writing this story so thank you so much. You are amazing! There is more to come..._


	15. Hi Ho Silver Lining

_Jamie's head was submerged into water again. He couldn't help but swallow some water. His foster father dropped him to the floor and he spluttered the water out. His foster father laughed at him whilst he curled up in the foetal position crying. _

Jim woke up barely able to breathe. Once he stopped shaking he decided to get out of bed, have a glass of water and go through the next motocross race in his head. It helped him block out bad memories. Jim didn't think that he was good racer but a stupid one even though he won races and won money. He took stupid risks with his life but that was what racing was all about for him. It wasn't about racing against other people, he was racing against himself. It felt great to stare death in the face, and to cheat it. Before Phoebe Grey, Jim had only felt alive on the track, the rest of the time he was working towards the future. Jim knew the track well. He drew the track out on a piece of paper from memory and visualised how he would tackle each part of the track.

"Are you up early or going to bed late?" Christian questioned.

Jim glanced at the clock. It was 3 a.m. "I've slept."

"Not much. We got home at one. You want to talk about it?" Christian offered.

"Not particularly. I just find it hard to get them out of my mind" Jim hesitantly revealed.

Christian ran his hand through his hair. He knew that Jim needed to talk to someone but he wasn't a role model in that area. It took him Mia's arrival for him to actually speak and he only spoke to Ana about his past. He knew that his family were there for him too. Ted was a light sleeper and whilst he couldn't tell Ted about the horrors of his life they had played chess, cards or pool into the early hours of the morning. Phoebe was so full of adventure and joy that she soothed him just by talking about her day.

"How's Elliot?" Jim asked worriedly.

"Meyer is pressing charges but Elliot will get off light. He's got a clean record. We posted bail." Christian informed Jim. "Plus everyone knows now what Meyer is. He admitted to downloading indecent images and possessing extreme pornography. It's hard to deny when the police had already ceased the evidence."

Jim felt disgusted with himself at having been used by Meyer. "How much was on there?"

"It was a large haul. 300,000 indecent images of children - many at the worst levels of depravity. He's facing 3 to 4 years in jail." Jim absorbed the information with relief that Meyer would finally be stopped but felt that the sentence was so small for what he actually did "Do you want something to drink?" Christian asked.

"I got some water. I hope that's ok, sir" Jim still wasn't used to taking something without having to pay for it in some way.

"It's Christian." Christian gently reminded Jim "Do you know how to play pool? Eight-ball."

"I'm not very good." Jim was still so full of self-doubt.

Christian had misgivings with that statement. Christian knew that Jim had to be good at positive mental images and have good hand-eye co-ordination for motocross racing. "Well neither am I…" Jim wanted to scoff. He doubted that Christian could be bad at anything. Christian looked at Jim's doubtful face. "At least try me?"

"Don't you need to sleep?" Jim asked. He didn't want to trouble Christian.

"I don't sleep either. Phee has probably told you that my early childhood wasn't too dissimilar from most of yours." Christian went on to explain "My mother was a crack whore. Her pimp abused me when she fucked-up - which was often. She did nothing to protect to me. Grace took me in when I was four after my birth mother killed herself. I was left alone with her body for 4 days. I've blamed myself and hated myself for her death. I still have night terrors about it. You're doing me a favour by playing pool with me" Christian revealed more than he planned to but he hoped that it would help Jim to talk to him.

Jim conceded "I'll play. So you were just a baby when it started?" Jim was baffled about how anyone could hurt a baby. He was hurt because of his own fuck-ups not that of his mother.

Christian knew what Jim was thinking. Jim was bound to compare war wounds with him and trivialise his own pain. "You were just a grieving six-year old. It makes no difference in their eyes, does it?"

"Does it ever go away?" Jim asked hopefully.

Christian knew he couldn't give false hope and had to be truthful so that Jim wouldn't feel alone in the long run. "No but the intensity of the pain becomes less. The happiness in the present and the hope for things to come outweighs the memories. There are times when you forget to be miserable and afraid. But sometimes things can happen which causes you to feel the full force of it." Christian knew that those times were the ones where his family was in danger: Ana being hurt by Jack Hyde, Ana almost losing her life in child birth and Ted breaking his arm. Thank god Phoebe had been spared any real harm.

Jim wanted to ask questions about how Christian dealt with his past but he didn't want to pry. He also knew that he couldn't ask what was troubling him the most without losing his balls. Jim wanted Phoebe to be able to touch him and not push her away but he couldn't get over what had been done to him. Jim had seen Phoebe with her friends that night and was worried that his touch issues would eventually become too much for her and she would leave him for any one of her friends. But he couldn't ask Christian Grey how to overcome the barrier to sex with his daughter. He didn't know if he wanted children but he wanted the option. After all, Christian had Ted and Phee - a family of his own.

Christian lead Jim to the pool table, gave Jim a cue and racked up the balls. "You want to break?" Jim shook his head. He wanted Christian to have the advantage. Christian sighed but did the break and then sunk two balls. "I'm not going to let you win but I hope you won't let me win either." Christian wanted to show Jim that he was good so that Jim could choose to rise to the challenge. It was obvious that Jim had met some sore losers in his time. Jim leaned over the table and the movement lifted his shirt. Christian got a glimpse of Jim's back and the scars there. Christian felt his anger rise again. _Bastards!_

Christian let Jim take his shots and sink a few balls before saying what was needed to be said. "Jim, I know you don't want to talk about the shit that was done to you. You lived it once so why would you want to re-live it. But you have to stop it from running the rest of your life. You have to believe that all that shit doesn't matter going forward. It doesn't affect who you are now. From now on you will meet most people in some sort of professional capacity: an employer, a future colleague, a competitor. They'll judge you alongside everyone else, including the kids like Noah Gates, which is why you have to realise that what the fuckers did doesn't define you, it just made you tougher. You didn't give up which makes you the toughest guy in the room and, just like Noah Gates, most people you'll meet will underestimate you. It's an advantage."

Jim smirked at the memory of Noah Gates gasping for water but then sighed "I'm not tough. The reason why I could do that or take a beating is because it was all I was good for. That and hard labour. I try and pretend that I'm something more than nothing but I'm not. I know that."

Christian took another shot but missed troubled by Jim's words. "When I was your age Grace tried to give me this pep talk. I thought it was bullshit too and I had been living here for over 10 years. So let's start with nothing. Nothing means the slate is clean and you can set yourself the challenge of being whoever you want to be. But that is something you already know and started to do. You decided on your aim of becoming a lawyer and you went ahead and got on with the first step. I know that you're proud of that. You're right to feel that way. Which reminds me the university has agreed that you can keep the points you accrued."

"What size donation did you give them?" Jim asked, knowing that that kind of goodwill wouldn't have been done for nothing.

"The scholarship and hardship fund I'm setting up for you will also become available to other students as well. I have something similar set up at Ana's old university" Christian shrugged.

Jim couldn't believe how much Christian had done for him. "One day I hope to repay everything you've done for me sir" Jim swore.

"It's Christian. For a smart man you keep forgetting that" Christian chided. "As for repaying me back I never want to hear of it again. As I said before you deserve a break. I just want you to learn to have fun. Phee is determined to teach you how. But I also knew your mom and I wish I could've done something sooner for you."

"How did you know my mom?" Jim asked surprised.

"We had mutual interests. I thought she was a charming young woman but she was already pregnant with you and I realised I had another shot with Ana. We went our separate ways. What do you know of your father?" Christian decided to see if he could persuade Jim to reveal what he knew on a sub-conscious level to the police.

"What Elliot told me. My dad beat up my mom so that I wouldn't exist and abandoned her. He's nothing to me. You can't miss something you never had" Jim shrugged.

"Do you know how he looks like?" Christian probed further.

Jim shook his head "No."

Christian then told Jim his suspicions "I think he may have been the one to have hurt your mom. We could go to the police and see if you can pick out the person who hurt your mom in their photo files. There's then a chance we can go after him legally. Do you think you could do that?"

"Do you need to ask?" Jim retorted.

"You're a good person Jamie Paston. Don't let anyone say otherwise and keep telling yourself that too. You have a lot going for you. Nothing to lose but everything to win. Not one of those pricks you met tonight can say that. They've got a future laid out for them by their parents and an inheritance or name to lose if they fuck up."

Jim then sunk another ball. "I want to succeed - make my mom proud. I want to prove them wrong but I feel so fucked up inside."

Christian frowned again. He hoped that his earlier words would eventually sink in. Christian let Jim in on a secret "Looking the same as everyone else works in your favour. It can mask how fucked up you feel on the inside and no-one knows on the outside unless you let it show. If you let people talk down to you, people will talk down to you. Or you can say what you think and people won't ignore you. For instance, you could've said your piece on being poor at tonight's dinner table and it would've given them real insight. You have a lot to offer. Don't forget that either."

"Thanks for the chat. For everything." Jim then sunk the 8 ball with a cheeky grin.

Christian smiled back. "So you're a very good player. You and Ted should play. He's pretty good too. Though don't play cards with him. He can count."

"Thanks for the tip." Jim smiled, knowing that he could count too. Christian felt he should warn Ted.

"I know that Phee is going with you to the track today but I'd rather that she didn't try your bike until after she has lessons." Christian gave a friendly warning to Jim. "I know she's been asking you."

"There's no way she's going on that bike full stop. It's not forgiving if a mistake is made. She needs to start with something smaller and less powerful" Jim retorted. This was why Christian approved of Jim over someone like Noah, Billy, Adam and all other Phoebe's male friends. Jim may think he was worthless but he would do everything to protect his daughter including risk her temper. In Christian's opinion it made him priceless."You can come if you want. Give Phee company whilst I'm racing." Jim offered.

"I'd like that." Christian confirmed his attendance.

"What are you two doing?" Elliot asked. He hoped that Christian had spoken to Jim but knowing those two they wouldn't admit to having a moment.

"Actually a better question would be how come it took you so long to get back from the station? Dad was back within an hour" Christian asked.

"I picked up a guitar for Ava. I never knew she wanted to learn. I thought she was too busy with flute and gymnastics. I would've taught her sooner, and then our kids could've formed a band. I would've been their manager and they would've been a cooler version of the Von Trapp family singers…"

"Only without any Nazis to escape from" Christian responded with a smirk.

"That's your security." Elliot responded with a grin "Ava would've been on lead guitar, Ted on keyboard, and Phee with vocals. You would've played drums." Elliot turned to Jim.

"Ted may have had an issue about lead guitar" Christian countered. "and then embarked on a solo career. Phee would've used her fame to become an actress, Jim would've been too busy at the race track and Ava would've become a lawyer to sue you for every bad idea you had in regards to the band. Good job we skipped all that."

"Good point little bro" Elliot quipped.


	16. I'll be there

"Wake up sleepy head. You should get some breakfast before we go." Jim gently said as he admired how beautiful his girl was.

"I'd rather be a sleepy head then a motor head." Phoebe sighed.

"Motor head?" Jim was mock offended.

"I'm sure you love your bike more than me. You still sleep with it in your room" Phoebe grumbled.

Jim did love his bike. It was finely tuned and cleaned often. Kate had had a hissy fit at Elliot for allowing Jim that.

"I would rather keep you in my room. I love you so much Phoebe Grey. You fill my heart with so much joy." Jim took Phoebe in his arms and kissed her on the neck.

"I love you too." Phoebe kissed back. "I went to look for you earlier. I heard you talking to dad. Did it help?"

"Yeah. It's good to talk to someone who's been through it. He was honest with me. What I disliked about most of my social workers is how they would tell me it would be ok. They were mostly telling themselves that so that they could feel better. They have a tough balancing act. They can't take their work home with them otherwise they would go mental and they try to make best use of the little resources available to them during the long hours they do work. It's why there's a high turnover. People come into that line of work to make a difference and when they realise they can't they leave. It's all about processes and paperwork. Those who stay stop really caring – they're overwhelmed by case loads. Rarely you get the saints. The ones who can overcome all of this and tough it out. They exist but it's rare. I met one once but she was fired. I don't know why." Jim finished sadly and Phoebe rested her head on his shoulder.

"What did dad say about moving forwards?" Phoebe enquired.

Jim reflected on everything that Christian had said to him "He gave me some advice. He said that a good life now can balance the shit that went before it. That whilst it won't go away I have to go on without it affecting how I act or what I do now. It's up to me to succeed."

"Us. We're together now." Phoebe corrected.

"Us." Jim agreed and then continued "I can't let people treat me as nothing even though that's what I feel otherwise I'll always be disadvantaged and they've won. He said I was a good person with a lot to offer." Jim slightly scoffed.

Phoebe stroked Jim's back "It's true."

Jim then respectfully said "I could see he felt awkward talking about it so I'm grateful he did. He was just a baby when it happened. Defenceless and it wasn't even his fault."

"It wasn't yours either." Phoebe countered.

Jim sighed "Phee...

"No you listen to me. It wasn't your fault. Every child deserves respect and to be valued. No child should live in fear." Phoebe snapped. Jim was about to protest so Phoebe then said with a mischievous smile "It's kinda boring that dad approves of you when he's always objected to my friends. I thought a labourer with a motorbike would've definitely earned his disapproval."

"That's the pirate in you. Rebellious to the core." Jim kissed Phee again. Phoebe reached out to touch him but then held back. He wanted much more but he couldn't accept it. Again he felt like a failure, especially when thinking about how her friends wouldn't hesitate to satisfy her needs.

"What did you think of my friends? Truthfully." Phoebe lightly demanded.

"Truthfully?" Jim really didn't want to be truthful.

"Yes." Phoebe insisted.

"Ok. Truthfully. I really want to punch Noah and then Billy" Jim admitted. "The others I can stand but you know that they are all into you right?"

"No way." Phoebe couldn't see it.

"I've never lied to you. Well other than my name..." Jim rubbed the back of neck.

"Jealous?" Phoebe teased.

"Of course I am. I want you all to myself." Jim held her tighter.

Phoebe explained "We're all just part of a crew. Noah is an idiot and dad has a point about him. But Matt can do a 360 kickflip on a skateboard and he taught me how to do some moves. You should see Billy ride a wave and he takes me surfing. Mike and Adam are great at snowboarding and their parents own a place in Aspen so I've gone out on the slopes with them when we were there too."

Jim knew what it was to compete in extreme sport he just never had to compete for a girl that he had given his heart too. Jim feared for losing Phoebe "Well if you're impressed by boys doing stupid things on their toys you should watch out for my vertical drop or hair pin turn today."

Phoebe was excited at that "Ava said you're brilliant on your bike" but then remembered why she had gotten mad at Jim in the first place "What happened exactly to make Ava so upset yesterday?"

"Judge Meyer isn't a nice man. He was harassing her. Leering, sexist jokes and coming too close against her" Jim informed her.

"You know him don't you?" Phoebe correctly guessed.

Jim directly answered her with a shrug "Yeah. He used me. One of many."

Phoebe reached out lovingly towards Jim and held him close "Jim, all the hurt you went through... I want to take it away. To comfort you and be your strength. I'm so glad I found you. Whenever you want me I'll be here. Why didn't you say straightaway?"

Jim stroked her arm "I thought I could handle it but in the end Elliot did that along with your dad." It was strange having someone fight his battles for him.

* * *

"Are you ok Christian?" Ana asked her husband.

"I was talking to Jim earlier. I never thought I would meet someone who's just as fucked-up as I am. I don't think I helped" Christian sighed. "He's a real good kid. I'm glad Phee has him and he has Phee." The only thing that Christian didn't like about Jim was his erratic eating habits.

Ana put her arms around Christian "I used to worry about you and Phee. I wondered if you would ever let her be free to explore what life had to offer on her own. I thought that there would be a massive fight and given how much of a free spirit she is that she would run off. But you surprised me with Phee just like you surprised me with Ted. I should've had more faith in you."

"You have more than enough. I'm sort of missing the adorable silky-skinned little babies that once cried to be held. It was easier then." Christian confessed "But I think we've taught them all we can, even though they still have a lot to learn. I know, thanks to you, that we did our best. I'm proud of who they've become. I don't want to lose them by pushing them away. The thought that they may never want me in their lives terrifies me and I'll do anything to avoid that including loosening the reins. Early on I saw how stubborn they were. Just like you they both know their own mind."

Ana laughed "Oh because you're not stubborn and bloody-minded."

"Fair point Mrs Grey." Christian conceded "I just remember how you thought I was too controlling. That our first real fight was because of that."

"We've grown and learnt together. You normally have a good reason behind your actions you just needed to communicate it." Ana reasoned.

"I think all we can be in the near future is a friend that is available for consultation and support. I really want that." Christian said honestly.

"I guess we have more time for us now." Ana said with a sweet but sexy enticing smile.

"That we do Mrs Grey." Christian then kissed Ana and held her tight. After almost two decades of being together they had never tired of each other.


	17. Born to be wild

Jim took Phoebe to the track. Phoebe noticed that the cheer leading girls frequently gazed at Jim and she felt possessive over him. _Move on girls he's mine!_

Jim was oblivious to it and was focusing on finding the only person he considered a friend, Davy Miller. Davy had taken Jim under his wing at the track after he saw Jim work hard for next to no pay and then saw Jim dumpster-dive. Davy was a small-time criminal with a soft heart who had seen Jim get stabbed in juvy from a well-known gang member. He felt bad about doing nothing wanting to keep his nose clean and secure his release date. But he became a mentor to Jim on the race track and bank rolled his first few races until Jim started to win. It was a good investment since Davy got a cut of whatever Jim won and Jim had paid him many times over. Since Davy was still involved in criminality Jim mostly stayed away so that he wasn't drawn in. He had been to juvy where he was treated like a number and didn't want to go to prison. However, Jim was grateful that Davy had used his criminal contacts to arrange for him to get a phoney Drivers licence and Social Security Number so that he didn't go back into the system.

"Davy." Jim called upon seeing him. They bumped the helmets they were carrying as a greeting. "You got the bike and some gear?"

"All present and correct." Davy confirmed but was smiling widely at Phoebe. "So what's your name?"

"Phoebe Grey." Phoebe said bashfully.

Davy went on with his chat up routine "I couldn't help noticing the T-shirt you're wearing. That's a great band."

"Oh! Have you heard their new album?" Phoebe was unwittingly drawn into to the conversation.

"I downloaded it yesterday. What was your favourite song?" Davy asked.

"Track number 5." Phoebe politely responded.

"So you wanted to try a bike?" Jim diverted the conversation knowing that Davy had never even heard of the band. Jim went on the back of Davy's truck to get the bike.

"Yeah! I want to learn" Phoebe said excitedly.

"You can try on this. 'Say hello to my little friend!'" Jim quoted Al Pacino.

Phoebe's face fell "Why can't I try on your bike? That looks like a kid's bike."

"Don't underestimate this baby. I started on this bike and it can do some neat moves. And Phee the day you ride my bike is the day I have a heart attack." Jim said as frankly as he did to Christian.

Phoebe lightly scrowled at him "Are you misjudging me again! 'You can't do hard work you're a princess!'"

Jim smiled at the memory "Ok. I'll revise my previous statement, Captain Pugwash. The day you can ride my bike is the day you win a lower class amateur race on a bike like this."

"Deal! I'll try on this bike." Phoebe jumped up and down excited at trying out a motorbike.

Jim was relieved. "Davy is a qualified instructor. He runs a club for kids" and before Phoebe glared Jim continued "He taught me. Your dad didn't want you to go on my bike until you had lessons. I just don't think he thought it would be this soon or what he had in mind but I can claim ignorance. This is your first lesson and a birthday present. The mud here is good for a beginner. It will cushion your fall and give the bike traction. Davy will kit you out with gear."

Davy gave some protective equipment to Phoebe to wear. She then went into queue for a portable restroom to change. Jim watched her and then saw a tall burly man barge in front of her. Jim rushed over to her and Davy followed at a slower pace.

"I think you pushed" Phoebe pointed out.

"Shut up or I punch your boyfriend." The man threatened Jim.

Phoebe went quiet she didn't want Jim to get hurt again. But Jim wasn't going to take someone talk to his girl like that "Take your best shot."

Davy got in front of Jim "Leave it to the track guys! You can show who's got the bigger balls then. But Tony don't you want to be a gentleman? You should let the lady go first and you can piss against a tree."

The burly man grunted and then went away into the woods determined to knock Jim off the track. Davy knew he wouldn't get the chance. His friend was fast.

"How did you get that girl?" Davy enquired as Phoebe went into the Portable Restroom.

"God knows and I know I owe you one for the lessons but could you stop flirting with her?" Jim requested politely.

"Why would I do that Jimmy?" Davy said with a smirk.

"Because I might kick your ass" Jim playfully boxed with Davy.

"Ok. Ok. Just making conversation." Davy put his hands up in defeat "Who taught you that move?"

"Elliot arranged for me to do boxing." Jim informed him.

"Why would he do that for?" Davy groaned "Has he seen you in fight?"

"Yeah. I got the shit beaten out me" Jim reminded Davy.

"Has he seen you in a fair fight? One where you weren't pistol whipped from behind by ex-military." Davy had been pissed off when he heard that and not because he lost money when Jim couldn't race.

"No" Jim answered honestly.

"Jimmy be careful. If you get into a fight and you know how to box you can get into serious trouble." Davy warned.

Jim shrugged "I hardly ever fight."

"No you just let people walk all over you until they think its ok to push you around and then after a few hard knocks you lose it. It's why Sam came at you with a kitchen knife. He didn't think you had it in you to defend yourself and then got humiliated when he got his ass handed to him by a kid. Jimmy, I saw how quickly you jump to your girl's defence."

Jim absorbed Davy's words and thought that boxing probably wasn't such a good idea.

Phoebe came out ready for her lesson. "What do you think?"

"Phee!" Jim felt himself get hard and was embarrassed. He placed his helmet in front of him.

Davy wolf whistled and Jim elbowed him with enough force to hurt but not enough to cause damage.

"Tell me about it stud" Phoebe quoted Grease.

"You look so gorgeous and sexy. You should always be dressed like this. I hate to leave you with this idiot but I have to prep." Jim also had to get rid of his erection before racing "Have fun but be safe your dad is already going to kill me for this. The race starts at two. Davy will look after you until Elliot and Christian arrive. You got your security anyway."

* * *

Christian and Elliot were watching Jim do a high-flying jump. They were surprised he'd come down upright and continued through a series of whoops. Ava and Phoebe cheered.

"I'm probably gonna receive a fine. Though the judge afterwards congratulated me on getting the balance right between giving the fuck a kicking and sparing his life. Look about the scholarship I want you to reconsider it. My millions may be tiny compared to your billions but I can afford for Jim to go to college. As far as I'm concerned he's as good as my own son and I don't want to lose him just because he's going to turn 18 soon." Elliot explained.

"Have you spoken to Jim about this?" Christian asked.

"Not yet." Elliot replied.

"I tied the scholarship and hardship fund to his grades and sport. Amateur motocross racing is included unusually for a scholarship. It makes him feel that he has earned it. Which as far as I am concerned he has. I think we should leave it." Christian suggested.

"Let me talk to him. I also think he can get into a better college and transfer wherever Phee ends up. You don't want her to stick to the local college just because Jim is here and she's definitely smart enough to get into your old college or mine. He's not just street smart. When I've spoken to him about racing he can quickly grasp engineering concepts that was taught in my third year at college." Elliot informed him.

"Ok. The ball is in his court. How's dad getting on with suing the state?"

"They're settling. It's going to go into millions of dollars. I know Jim doesn't want to touch the money but I think that just the acknowledgement that it was wrong will help him to realise it too. He's donating the money to mom's charity to help other kids." Elliot winced as he saw Jim slip on mud following another jump. Jim righted himself immediately and continued on to the speed bumps. "I was thinking about his birthday. Could you take him flying like you did Ted?"

"Sure. What else are you doing for him?"

"He hasn't travelled but I don't think he'd go without Phee. So I was thinking your place in New York."

"We could go somewhere as a family. With the girls doing work experience we haven't gone anywhere this summer."

"How about the Caribbean again? I could teach him to dive. Do you think he'll be comfortable with taking his top off on a beach?" Elliot asked hopefully but Christian shook his head remembering Jim's scars. Elliot then suggested "We could take him skiing?"

"No way. I am not showing him another way he could risk his life. That's the same for any extreme outdoor sports. He rides that bike like he doesn't give a shit if he lives or dies."

"You noticed that too." Elliot then gave another suggestion "How about Vegas?"

Christian shook his head exasperatedly "Do you remember what happened when we last went there?"

Elliot certainly did "I doubt that will happen again. Do you know what ever happened to Elena?"

"She had a small business in Texas following prison. Died last year. Drowned in alcohol and sleeping pills" Christian informed him.

"Good riddance. Imagine her being near Ted or Jim." Elliot's face portrayed his distaste for the idea.

Christian swallowed "I'd rather not. Fucking Bitch."

"So you've finally seen sense almost two decades later? Alle-fucking-luia" Elliot looked up to the sky as if he was thanking god.

"I thought it was wrong when she went to prison for the others. But thinking about if it was Ted makes me want to hurt her especially since he's now the age I was when we did some heavy shit. So yeah I've seen the light."

"Well that's how we all felt when it was you."

"I get that now." Christian said in a firm voice that ended the conversation. "So the vacation? He enjoyed sailing. We could hire a boat and see some of Alaska"

"See you're the ideas man. I just build buildings. Thanks Chrissie."

"You do realise I'm 45?"

"Which makes me nearing 50 but it's not how old you are its about how old you feel. We still get into fights." Elliot and then Christian burst out laughing.

* * *

Jim crossed the finishing line first. His memory for jump locations, corner directions, mud holes and slick spots was pretty much spot on. He was aggressive in keeping the inner track and he made it impossible for other riders to pass him. Once Jim finished his race, he looked up for his time and he was annoyed that it was 30 seconds slower than his personal best despite the weather.

Phoebe turned up with Davy as Jim parked his bike. There was a glare on her face. Even with a glare she was beautiful. Jim took his helmet off. " Yo, Phee! I DID IT!" Jim quoted Rocky with a crooked grin to see if that would remove the glare. Phoebe still looked unimpressed.

Davy turned to Phoebe "This kid is insane but hits the dirt less than any other racer. Every time I've told him 'Don't, under any circumstances, try to jump this' he goes ahead and pulls it off. But it's about the corners. Any racer can jump but no-one does corners like Jimmy." Jim tried to laugh it off, seeing Phoebe's glare become more defined. "He's got back on his bike with a broken wrist and collar bone before. But as they say if you're not falling, you're not riding hard enough"

"Both of those were sprains" Jim downplayed the injuries.

"You didn't get it checked out. How would you know? Anyway, see you kids later." Davy then went off to greet some other racers.

Jim took his gloves off. There was a vivid bruise around his wrist and it was swollen.

"Jim!" Phoebe gingerly took his hand and glared as hard as she could.

"I just landed a little hard but at least I didn't try and go through the mud and get stuck for minutes. There was always a chance I was going to slip." Jim was worried by Phoebe's continuing glare "Why are you glaring at me? I thought you liked guys who can do extreme sports."

"My friends have never been suicidal" Phoebe exclaimed. "Davy said there normally isn't a mud trap or a slick point there. The weather did that. Please tell me that you didn't jump it to impress me."

"Not exactly" Jim rubbed the back of his neck since it was exactly what went through Jim's mind as he did it each time. He had to make himself stand out to Phoebe against her other extreme sport fanatic friends and whilst he made the jump over the worst part of the mud he grazed the next part of the track losing a few seconds off the clock.

"Jamie Paston how could you be so stupid!" Phoebe shouted. "Everyone else took it easy for weather. You could've killed yourself out there. What if I did something like that?"

"I told you I was a stupid racer." Jim defended "You're a lot smarter than me."

"I can't believe that you had the cheek to say I couldn't ride on your bike when you pull stupid stunts on a regular basis!" Phoebe huffed.

"Phee, I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." Jim said sincerely and his voice portrayed the fear of losing her.

"What do you think I would do if something happened to you? Move on!" Jim's face revealed that he thought _Yes!_ "I can't believe you!" Phoebe said exasperatedly and went to fake punch Jim jokingly on the arm. Jim dodged and Phoebe slipped on the mud.

"Shit. Phee are you ok?" Jim immediately regretted dodging.

Phoebe laughed "Fine. Help me up."

Jim gave his hand to pull her up but Phoebe pulled him down and he slipped too. Both laughed and helped each other up "You really are a cunning pirate."

"Jim, look at me. I want you to stop gambling your life on the track. You have something to live for now. You have me."

Jim held Phoebe close to him and kissed her intimately.

Davy lead a man in suit to Jim. The only people who wore suits to motocross racing were scouts or managers "Mr Johnson, this is Jim. Jim, Mr Johnson wants to talk you about doing this for his team."

"You raced pretty good out there son. Fancy a shot at the big money." Mr Johnson offered Jim with a wide grin.

"You mean compete professionally." Jim said to clarify.

"Nationally and internationally. You have the chance to compete on England's Hawkstone Park Motocross Circuit." Mr Johnson knew this enticed most racers. It was the greatest track in the world "What do you say son?"

Three months ago Jim would've jumped at a chance like this. It would've paid for college eventually. But that was before Phoebe Grey and he knew that if he was travelling across the world to compete he would never see her. On top of that Christian had given him a good offer already. Jim firmly said "Thank you Mr Johnson for the opportunity but I got everything I want right here."

"This is a once in a life time chance." Mr Johnson wasn't used to hearing no.

"I'm grateful sir to be considered but I can't commit to you" Jim repeated his decline of the offer and Mr Johnson walked on with a huff.

Davy asked curiously "Why did you turn him down?"

"I have something, or I should say, someone else now." Jim shrugged. "You'll still get your cut on these races."

Phoebe hugged and kissed Jim knowing that he had turned down the offer for her. "I love you!"

"I love you more. You're the only one in this world who I could imagine spending my life with. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than beside you" Jim declared.


	18. Gimme Shelter

Christian took Jim to the police station to flick through the photo files where he identified Paul Clayton. Jim then took a paternity test but he would have to wait to hear from the courts if Paul Clayton would be ordered to do one.

Jim then went to see Sarah Paston, Jim's only living relative, in the hospital she was living at. As soon as Jim stepped through the door of his aunt's hospital room, his aunt Sarah recognised him and shed tears at finally seeing her nephew after all these years. Jim held her hand and sat until it was time to go. They didn't need to talk which was impossible for Sarah and there was little movement from her but there was a closeness of family that both needed.

* * *

Kate and Ana had gone for a latte and an Earl Grey tea for a good old chat.

"I never wanted any more children after Ava. The pregnancy made me crazy and I hated not being in control. But having Jim live with us made me realise that I want more children just not the pregnancy bit. When Jim goes to college I want to adopt more children. I think Elliot does too." Kate revealed.

Ana was surprised by this revelation but said "That's wonderful news."

"I want to give more children a loving home especially the teens who have been passed up." Kate explained further "There's plenty of would-be parents who want babies because they can't have their own. I did a story on it. There was one parent who was like 'I want a baby with blue eyes but if you have brown eyes I can't love you'"

"Kate, it's not that bad" Ana frowned.

"Yes it is" Kate insisted. "They made Jim take part in open days."

"What are open days?" Ana took a guess and hoped that it wasn't true.

Kate angrily explained "It's where would-be parents can see if they are compatible with any of the children on display. I haven't a clue why no-one snapped him up. If I had seen him…I guess he's very introverted and so was overlooked. But can you imagine being in a room whilst other kids are being selected for a new home and you're the one left behind. I wasn't picked for the cheer leading squad and I felt gutted. I played soccer instead!"

"He has you now and Elliot. He has the whole Grey family." Both Ana and Kate were comforted by that thought.

"Do you think that Jim will feel that we've upgraded to a newer model if we adopt again?" Kate sought the advice she needed from Ana "I want him to realise that he will always have a permanent home with us and we're his family now. That it wasn't just a temporary good deed. You know when I heard his story and read his file I just wanted to …"

"Wrap him up in cotton wool." Ana finished for Kate having felt the same way.

"That's exactly it. He didn't go to a single place where he wasn't hurt - only the degree varied. He's been through so much pain I couldn't bear to cause anymore." Kate said in earnest.

"I think that Jim will realise that you and Elliot are bursting with love that there is more than enough to go around" Ana reassured Kate.

"But look at what Ava felt." Kate argued.

"I think Elliot beating the hell out of Meyer proved that he would do anything for her, as well as Jim, and she confided in you after talking with Jim. Kids can hold on to the silliest of things when they are upset. I remember wanting a pair of red shoes when I was a kid. Mom said no since I already had a new pair. But I cried and screamed all the way home for those red shoes. As soon as I got my first pay-check I brought a pair of red shoes." Ana reminisced.

Kate was taken back by the story "I thought you weren't into fashion!"

"I'm not. I wanted to be Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz" Ana confirmed and then laughed with Kate.

* * *

Christian dropped off Jim at Elliot's construction site after the hospital visit. Jim went to get some coffee for them so that the Grey brothers could exchange a few words in privacy.

"He picked out Paul Clayton from the files. We got the fucker." Christian smirked.

"That's good Christian. Just make sure that the protection is in place. I don't want to even think about how the fucker will react when he's ordered to do a paternity test." Elliot was worried for all the Grey kids.

"It's already in place." Christian looked at Elliot as if he backward "Phee struggled with the idea of more security but Jim persuaded her to think differently. Ted called her as well. Jim's meeting with his aunt was emotional. I think he realised that she still cared for him even if she couldn't look after him."

"Thanks for taking him." Elliot acknowledged. He had urged Jim to go to see his aunt since Jim wasn't sure if a visit from him would be welcomed.

"When are you going to tell Jim about Alaska?" Christian asked.

"Now." Elliot said as he saw Jim carry two cups of coffee "Didn't you want anything?"

"I fine. Thanks." Jim gave Elliot back the change. He still didn't like to take something without being asked to.

Elliot frowned but made an effort to be cheery "Jim, it will be your birthday soon..."

"To you it's my birthday; to me it's Wednesday."_ No good came from me being born_ Jim thought as remembered why his mother had been killed and how that caused his aunt's stroke. Jim wondered how much like his father he was. The man was cruel, cold and self-centered. Jim felt he had those characteristics too - he had endangered the Greys, he was numb to sexual contact hurting Phoebe because of it, and another kid had been hurt because he stayed silent about his abuse. No-body decent could possibly want to know him for long. "When do want me to leave, sir?"

"Leave?" Elliot asked seemly confused.

"Yeah. Now that I'm going to be 18. I thought you may have mentioned it around now." Jim said matter-of-factly.

"When I took you in I signed up for life. How about you? Can you put up with me and the rest of the Greys any longer?" Elliot said with a smirk.

"So you still want me?" Jim tested.

"Jim my home is your home as long as you want it." Elliot confirmed "So I was thinking Christian could take you flying. It's highly disciplined so there's no going too fast. Then we were thinking that about going up to Alaska and cruising around there."

"For my birthday?" Jim thought Elliot was mad to go to this amount of trouble for him but then again this was the Greys and it was Elliot. He still felt he didn't belong in their luxurious world.

Christian could see that there was a 'no' coming. "Actually we didn't have a chance to go away earlier this year. Phee likes to travel especially on open water. Going to Alaska seems a relatively short distance to go but we can see glaciers, humpback whales and the rainforests. Ted will probably come to. Though it may be too cold for Grace and Carrick. We want you to come."

"Yeah sure." Jim said relieved that the Greys hadn't gone out of their way for him again. He felt he really wasn't worth their time or effort.

Elliot looked gratefully at Christian. "I'm going to show Christian the developments we've made on the building. Could you stay here and then we'll get you kitted out for Alaska."

* * *

Jim leaned back on the car wondering what he did to deserve the kindness of the Greys when the foreman came up to him. "As soon as that pretty girl dumps you that's it with the Greys and you'll be back where you belong. Working a long hard shift and doing what I tell you to do"

"When Phoebe Grey dumps me I'll be dead before I even think about working for you." Jim knew he couldn't live if living was without Phoebe.

Elliot and Christian had come back from the site tour. Both were concerned at Jim's words. Why say I'll be instead of I'd rather be? Elliot wished that he knew what was running through Jim's mind but he felt that Jim had a death wish when it came to racing which could at any point change to thoughts of self-harm. He knew for certain now that that point would be Phoebe. It was why Elliot beat Christian in offering Jim a home. If it went wrong between Pheobe and Jim he wanted Jim to still have someone and a home.

Elliot coughed and the foreman looked up surprised "I heard what you said to Jim. I've adopted him and I've had enough of you treating him like shit. If you don't apologise you can pack your things and go."

The foreman was about to protest but Jim beat him to it "He didn't mean it. He was just jibing me"

Elliot was annoyed that Jim defended the bully "I'm not blind or deaf Jim. I saw how he denied you the opportunity to train as a brickie when the position became available. I heard that he overloaded you with work, made threats about job security and frequently gave you the hair dryer treatment for no reason. You should've made a formal complaint and Bill you have misused your power and position one last time."

"I can't be fired. The little punk doesn't work here anymore. I'm not apologising to the likes of him." Bill, the foreman, declared.

Elliot realised that the foreman had a point so he looked at Christian for help. Christian paused for a moment before saying "Jim was employed without proper checks being made as to his age. We recently found out he wasn't 18 at time of employment. Weren't you the one who carried out those checks?"

Bill glared at Christian "He had a Social Security Number."

"But no birth certificate or references. Didn't that strike you as odd?" Christian questioned. "Elliot could've been fined a large amount of money for this. We now have to re-check the identity of everyone else that you've employed on Elliot's behalf. I think it would be best if you leave Grey Construction on your own accord. Whilst you can still get a reference. Don't you?"

Bill, the foreman, couldn't argue with that assessment and stormed off "Bastard."

Jim was intimidated by Christian's ruthlessness but he said quietly "This was my main job. I would've starved without it."

"That's why he knew he could bully you the way he did" Christian pointed out. "Remember what I said about not letting people talk down to you. You have to start now."

"He'll find a job soon enough." Elliot reassured "He's very experienced. But I hope he has learned his lesson that bullying is unacceptable."

"People seemed to be getting a fired an awful lot around me recently. Wilson, Bill, the shake-up at CPS…" Jim blamed himself for their loss of employment which irked Christian and Elliot since Jim had lost so much more than that. His childhood. They were determined for him to have it good the rest of his life.

"What if it was Ava that was being bullied or harassed in the workplace? What if she faced unwelcome sexual advances. What would you do?" Elliot challenged and knowing full well what Jim would do.

"That's different. It's Ava" Jim explained though felt cornered by that argument.

Elliot hated Jim's lack self-worth and self-respect. It was on par with Christian's. "I hope one day that you'll realise that you're worth more than how you were treated. Lets get some kit."


	19. If I Could Turn Back Time

The Greys stayed at a log cabin in Alaska before embarking on the boat they had hired.

Jim was chopping up some wood for a log fire. Splitting wood was easy work for him. He liked that satisfying thunk!

Phoebe came out to admire the view. "I've been cooking cookies whilst my man has been hard at work. Would you like one?" Phee held out a cookie so that Jim could bite into it.

"Delicious" Jim praised.

Phoebe looked at the amount of work Jim had done "You don't have to do the whole lot. Wasn't Ted meant to be helping?"

Jim shrugged "I used to do much more than this on a daily basis when I was at the farm. Ted wanted to practice some music. I was looking around this place. The cabin needs to be re-varnished otherwise the weather will get to the wood. They're an old couple. I think they're struggling to keep this place up." Jim felt sorry for them.

Phoebe sighed "So what's the plan? Re-varnish the cabin in a day!"

"Well, the current varnish on the wood would have to be stripped back but…" Jim was working out a plan.

Phoebe interrupted "Jim, just relax. Please for me. Even without all the jobs you used to work you keep yourself so busy that I still think you're going to burn out. I know you keep busy to forget but you have to slow down. We're on vacation. We paid to stay here and not work. Dad's not too happy about the place. Says it been mis-sold. But mom says it's charming."

Jim defended the cabin owners. "They're a sweet couple. He was telling me about his service in Vietnam. I just want to help them." Jim looked troubled. "Stand back." Jim said, Phoebe did as she was told and Jim then split another log.

Phoebe realised that Jim was trying to burn off energy. "What's wrong?"

"My aunt died and left me all her money. It's as if her last want in life was to see me and once that happened she gave up on living." Jim was struggling to come to terms with it all "She was really ill but I would've liked to have seen her again."

"When did this happen?" Phoebe hugged Jim despite him dripping with sweat.

"A few hours ago. It was the phone call I took. She hasn't much in the way of personal belongings. Just a box. They're going to send it to Elliot's. During her years in hospital her stuff seemed to have disappeared. But she was rich. Not your dad's level of rich but before I was struggling for money and now I don't know what to do with it. Grace won't accept another donation. She told me - firmly - to keep it."

"Why did you give away your compensation money?" Phoebe enquired. She had been reluctant to ask before since Jim was very tight lip about it. She never wanted to hurt him by prying but she felt he was now ready to say.

"Because accepting it would've made me the most expensive hooker in Seattle. Isn't that what you would call someone who accepts money for sex" Jim said bluntly rubbing the back of his neck. He felt so used and dirty. "Money doesn't make it better but worse. How you can love me after knowing what I've done and how I've endangered your family?" Jim demanded since he couldn't understand why Phoebe Grey felt the way she did about him.

Phoebe was shocked that Jim was feeling like this and she held him tightly "You haven't endangered us. Mom has history with Paul Clayton though she doesn't talk about it. And Jim I love you because you're you. What isn't there to love? You're everything I want. Funny, kind, intelligent, protective. The list is endless for me. And ... the money is recognition that what happened was wrong, that it should never have happened and they should've taken better care of you. It isn't a payoff."

"That's what Elliot said" Jim responded flatly.

"It's true. A wise old fool." Phoebe loved her uncle even more. "How you were treated was so so wrong and it's time to spoil yourself. You know you could buy some new clothes out of your Aunt's money. An ipad. A bike that isn't made up of spare parts." Phoebe smiled a coy smile after saying the last bit. She wanted Jim to react and therefore feel something other than self-loathing.

"There's nothing wrong with my bike" Jim defended.

"I never said that there was. I just suggested a new one. The rest you can save for a rainy day" Phoebe suggested. "I love you so much. Have a shower and come to the lounge."

* * *

Once Jim had a shower he joined the Greys in the lounge.

"Surprise." The Greys called out.

There was a birthday cake baked by Phoebe and presents on the table. Jim was overwhelmed by the generosity.

"Mine first." Phoebe said and gave Jim his present.

"You didn't have to." Jim told Phoebe but it was really to everyone there.

"We wanted to. So the polite thing to do is just accept. Plus for my birthday you got me a signed picture of Captain Pugwash and …"

"Wow. This is amazing. The complete Bond collection." Jim hurriedly cut in. The motorbike lesson had escaped Christian's attention. He suspected that Sawyer but more likely Ana had chosen not tell Christian. Ana held her breath. She hadn't spoken to Christian yet. "And a Sean Connery autograph. Awesome. Thanks Phee." Jim lightly kissed her on the forehead.

"This is from me, Kate, Ava and Lucas" Elliot handed Jim an envelope.

"It's a day racing in an Aston Martin, Porsche and Mclaren." Jim informed Phee as she tried to see what it was.

"You can test the power and speed of these cars on a track. It would be nice so see you race in something made out of metal rather than on it and has airbags. From what I heard you're pretty good" Kate said. She knew that she would ground Jim for life if she went to watch him race on a bike.

"Thank you." Jim said to Kate. Kate hugged Jim and he awkwardly hugged back.

"and this is from my dad, my mom and Ted but I helped to choose it." Phoebe said excitedly. Jim was speechless as he held the watch in his hands. "It's an Omega watch. The one Bond has in Casino Royale." Phoebe pointed out.

Ted then held out another envelope "Here's some tickets to my next gig. Mom and dad are coming too. You can take Phee or someone else." Phee punched her brother's arm. "Ow."

"Of course I'm taking you." Jim held Phoebe close to him "I can't thank you all enough for everything you've done for me."

* * *

Jim loved being on a boat in Alaska. With the Greys he had seen Humpback whales the size of school buses rise from the ocean and in the quiet anchorages they had seen brown bears and black bears feeding on salmon. Jim had learnt to kayak and had gone on a glacier hike. The Greys had dined on fresh-caught crab and prawns. He had never tasted anything with such a pleasant distinct flavour. The trip provided the Greys with quality time in an unhurried, magical atmosphere, allowing them to connect on a deeper level than in the normal busy routine.

Phoebe was on the side of the boat when Jim put his arms around her. Phoebe was watching seals snoozing on the icebergs in front of her. Jim kissed her on the cheek and then stroked her hair "What you thinking about?"

Phoebe sighed "Time flies so quickly. It was summer just finishing my 11th Grade - waiting for end of year exam results. I met you. Now it's senior year and you'll be starting college for real. I have to make a decision about college myself soon and do applications. I'll be 17 entering on an early entrance program since I skipped a grade. I'm going to miss my friends when I graduate."

"You'll all be Bears, Lions, Tigers or Bulldogs on the East Coast." Jim tried to comfort Phoebe but he was disappointed about how much time he had left with her. He wasn't going to allow it to show. He couldn't hold her back.

"I want to stay close to home." Phoebe had decided that much.

"Where's the adventure in that?" Jim asked.

Phoebe had a simple explanation "I don't want to lose you Jim and you're in Seattle."

"You can't give up opportunities for me." Jim lightly admonished.

"But you can for me?" Phoebe challenged.

Jim shrugged "That's different"

"Really! How?" Phoebe demanded.

"I'm nothing without you and I'll always be here waiting for you." Jim promised "What were your plans before you met me?"

"Stanford architectural design program. But then dad said I could go into acting. I was thinking of the Yale School of Drama eventually. You would've finished your degree then and you could look into going to a law school on the East Coast. Be a Bear, Lion, Tiger or Bulldog." Phoebe teased.

"You really have thought this out but there's a flaw. There's no way I would get into those schools. I don't have what it takes." Jim stated.

"Yes you do. You never quit Jim. Ever. You're really clever. You do realise that last night was the first time in a long time that Ted was beaten in cards? And you gave him a tough ride in chess. It's really really difficult to beat Ted." Phoebe sighed and changed the subject since she didn't have the right words to convince Jim that he had the potential to be a high achiever. "It was fun last night watching you play Rock Hero with Elliot, Ted and Ava. It was so funny that Ted lost on his own song."

"Your dad really shouted when Ted worked out the programming flaw with the game and was about to give the correct coding to the company." Jim was surprised by Christian's quick flash of temper.

"Ted is really smart but he can be consumed by showing off how clever he is that he can overlook the obvious. Dad can shout but he really cares about us and would do anything for us. We've learnt to shout back. Now it's called a difference of opinion. But it's when he's really quiet that we know something is really wrong. He's giving Ted a record company for his 18th. He sees the potential in his family and financially backs them. It's what he did with mom even though she was a born writer. He thinks that since he did it everyone else can. He doesn't see himself as anything special either." Phoebe explained her dad's odd ways but as she explained she couldn't help but spot the similarities between her dad and her boyfriend.

"I know your dad is a good guy. You have a stunning voice. You nailed 'If I Could Turn Back Time'." Jim complemented "I can see why Elliot thought he could make a fortune managing the Grey family band. Ava, Ted and you are all so talented."

Phoebe smiled as Jim praised her family "What did you think of dad playing the piano?"

"Amazing. He showed he could rock against Elliot and Ted. He's very competitive." Jim had observed.

"He has a thirst to prove himself. That he's more than something he was born into." Just like Jim Phoebe thought only he wasn't born into it but thrown into to it after losing his mom. Phoebe continued on a lighter subject "Great Balls of Fire was the first song he played for mom. Mom and Auntie Kate were hilarious on the karaoke machine singing Baby Love." Phoebe giggled as she remembered.

Jim wanted to show Phoebe how wonderful his mom was. His mom gave him unconditional love every second of everyday when she was alive. She loved him more than she loved herself. She was compassionate and understanding. He wondered if she was watching him now how disappointed she would be. "You want to see a picture of my mom? I took it from the police file. I probably shouldn't have done that but it had been years since I saw her a photo of her. My last foster mom ripped up the one I had of her. That photo had gotten me through so much. I think Christian saw me steal this one but he didn't say anything." Jim was grateful for that.

"Your mom is pretty. She has a kind smile. Is this you? You must be about 4 or 5." Phoebe was excited to see a picture of Jim as a child but then remembered what had been done to that child a year or two later.

"Yeah, that's me when I was five years old. We had been to the zoo. I didn't appreciate I had it so good. I didn't appreciate her. She disliked that I went by the name Jim even then. I thought Jamie sounded too girly. She never gave into my demands of calling me Jim. When you say my full name in anger it reminds me of her. You both care for me." Jim smiled as he recollected but deep down he was just waiting to fuck it up with Phoebe Grey.


	20. All the way

Jim and Phoebe were hiking with Ted in the rain forest. Lucas and Ava were close behind them. They had security with them but they were trailing back to give them space.

"So how come you don't have a girlfriend Ted?" Phoebe cheekily asked her brother.

"I'm on the road all the time. I don't have time." Ted then described the feeling of being a (alternative) rock star "You know Phee it's the most amazing rush to get on stage and be my alter ego. People know the words to my songs and they crowd surf to them and mosh. I've written dad a song to say thanks for everything he has done for me. It's uses piano rather than guitar."

"Does dad know?"

"No. It's a surprise so don't tell him. Dad and I are wired the same. I don't understand how he can be a straight-laced Harvard educated business man. I know he dropped out of college after two years but I couldn't do it full stop. He must've had some other release."

Phoebe saw Ted's point and suggested "He was really good at rowing."

"It's not the same." Ted countered.

Jim was wondering if that release was BDSM since Christian had said he and his mom had mutual interests. Suddenly Phoebe slipped as she crossed a wooden bridge covering a stream. At times she had her mother's clumsiness when she wasn't focusing. Jim helped her up straight away.

"Oh shit." Phoebe felt her wrist.

"What?" Ted asked.

"I dropped the bracelet you all gave me for my 13 birthday." Jim knew how much the bracelet meant to Phoebe. It held charms given to her by all her family over the last 3 years and she had worn it most days since she was 13. Jim went to have a look and saw it was caught on a rock. Jim took off his coat, climbed over the handrail of the bridge and climbed down to the water line.

"No. Don't. It's freezing in there. Don't even think about it." Phoebe called.

"I'll be back a few seconds" Jim called back.

"I'll get her another one" Ted shouted. Ted wondered if Jim had an ounce of self-preservation when it came to his sister.

Jim didn't listen he knew that money couldn't replace the memories the bracelet held. He remembered what it was to lose his mother's photograph and went into the ice cold water. Jim then swam to the rock, got the bracelet and went back to the bridge to climb back up.

Jim was slightly shivering. His skin had got paler. He held out the bracelet to Phoebe "Here you go."

Phoebe refused to take it. "You're fucking crazy. You could've got hypothermia. We need to get you somewhere warm, get you out of that wet clothing and wrap you in our coats."

"Phee, its ok." Jim didn't understand why Phoebe was so concerned. He was given ice baths as punishment at foster home number 1 and faced freezing winters on the street the times he had run away.

"Why? Because you were badly hurt before! WHY IS IT OK FOR YOU TO BE IN PAIN OR SUFFERING? Don't you get it! It was cruel, inhuman and degrading. But that's changed now. I never want you to be hurt again. Am I not enough for you stop taking stupid risks with your life? Do you want to be dead? Away from me. That's not the way to end it." Phee went to Ted and started to cry. All her fears had risen to the surface.

Jim tried to put a hand on Phoebe's shoulder but she shook it off. "Ted. Just take it ok."

Ted took the bracelet and Jim walked away.

Ava and Lucas followed him to make sure he didn't get purposefully lost along the way.

"Where are you going?" Ava asked.

"I don't know." Jim wiped a tear from his eye. He felt like such a fuck up.

"Come back to the boat with us." Ava told him.

"Do you really think Phee would want me there?" Jim scoffed.

"When she has calm down she will. Plus my dad and mom will be expecting you. Don't leave us because of this." Ava implored.

"What am I going to do?" Jim desperately asked Ava.

"She'll come to you. You'll see. You're meant to be together." Ava reassured her adoptive brother.

* * *

Kate, Elliot, Ana and Christian had had lunch at a lovely restaurant. The kids were going to have a picnic lunch during their hike but since Jim, Lucas and Ava had come back early they knew that they hadn't eaten. Ava got herself and Lucas a sandwich. She offered Jim one but he refused. Kate and Elliot came to join them as Ana and Christian disappeared into their cabin.

"Jim are you ok? You really should eat" Kate encouraged.

"I'm not hungry. Thank you though" Jim barely looked up.

"Do you want to play a game of cards?" Ava asked. She wasn't as good as Ted and Jim would probably beat her but she needed to help Jim in someway.

Phoebe came back on board with Ted. She refused to look at Jim and then curled up on the sofa to read Sense and Sensibility. Ted went to play on his guitar. Jim went outside, he couldn't take seeing Phoebe so upset at him.

"What happened?" Kate asked Ava.

"Phee lost her bracelet." Ava started to fill her parents in on what happened during the hike.

"She loves that bracelet. Did Jim lose it?" Elliot speculated the reason why Jim was in Phoebe's bad books.

"No. He went to retrieve it out of the water" Ava replied.

"That must've of been freezing" Kate exclaimed.

"That's why she lost it with him." Ava frowned.

"I'm glad you brought him back here. It's where he belongs. I'm so proud of you." Kate hugged her daughter.

"Mom, he's my brother. He would do far more for me." Ava brushed off the praise.

"I should probably speak to him" Elliot said as he got off his chair.

* * *

"Chicks hey?" Elliot let Jim know that he was on his side "But you do realise that the Greys are rich enough to replace a silver bracelet. You on the other hand are irreplaceable. She just cares about you."

"For however long that will last." Jim retorted.

"What do you mean?" Elliot probed.

"She'll tire of me." Jim stated.

"Why do think that?" Elliot questioned.

"Because I'm me and I can't stand to be touched after what they did" Jim responded honestly.

Elliot was honest back "With my first girlfriend it was short and not sweet. I was too excited and I couldn't get going again. I powered through."

"How?" Jim asked.

"You know when you fall on your bike what do you do?" Elliot tried to speak in terms Jim would understand. Elliot remembered having a similar conversation with Christian.

"I go back on it." Jim replied as if it was obvious.

"That's the same for riding a girl. Be fearless." Elliot grinned at his own joke.

Jim shook his head at Elliot's pun "That is so wrong! She's your niece."

"Ok. I'll behave. Seriously. What happened was I made a joke of it and learnt foreplay. I think I could compete with James Bond in terms of my little finger. Once I got going again I kept going and was determined not to think about my earlier mishap. I focused on the end goal which was to get her to a heightened state of pleasure. I've been doing it ever since. You know about safe sex right?"

"Yes." Jim said firmly.

"Glad we don't have to have the talk." Elliot sighed in relief. "Takes all the fun out of it."

"Actually, I think I'm gladder about not having that talk than you are" Jim smirked. "No offence."

"None taken." Elliot ruffled Jim's hair.

* * *

That night Jim was frozen in fear during a nightmare. _He was being forced to take part in a line up at foster home number 4. He had a plastic bag held over his head. He was so full of hate for himself. He was so weak, so afraid and panicking. Why should he care if he lived or died? Did he want this? He wanted to die and be with his mom._

Ted ran into Jim's cabin after he heard Jim scream a second time. Ted saw his sister comfort Jim.

"Jim, you're safe. You're with me. I'm here." Phoebe was trying to wake Jim.

"I'm sorry." Jim gave an automated response as he woke up. Jim's quiet trembling voice disturbed Ted. Jim was repulsed by what had happened to him but felt to blame.

"Ted it's ok. Leave me with him." Phoebe reassured her brother.

"Phee, do you want me to get dad or mom? He's looks really shaken." Ted was concerned. "Dad is probably awake anyway."

"This was my fault. I should've forgiven him right away. He was only ... I have to make it right. Please just go." Phoebe told Ted and Ted went back to his cabin wondering what could make someone that scared.

"I'm sorry" Jim started to cry uncontrollably. He was shaking badly and curled up. "I'm so sorry." He was so afraid of losing Phoebe. But again he had shown how pathetic he was. How weak he was. How fucked-up he was. He was so ashamed of himself.

"Hush. Don't say that word. Not to me. I just worry about you that's all." Phoebe tried to explain as she wrapped her body around him to comfort him.

"You shouldn't worry about me." Jim shook his head. He felt so worthless. So undeserving of Phoebe.

"I'm in love you. Of course I worry about you." Phoebe tried hard to console him. Phoebe kissed Jim and held him tight. Eventually Jim stopped crying and shaking. "I love you so much. I wish you can see how wonderful you are and how happy you make me. Maybe then you'll realise I never want to be without you. I'm never going to let you go. I want to hold you forever." Phoebe's hand reached down but then stopped remembering that he couldn't stand it without feeling acute fear.

"No. Don't stop. You can touch me. I want to give you my whole self. I'm yours for you to do whatever you want." Jim offered.

"Jim, I don't want you to put yourself through this because of what happened earlier." Phoebe loved Jim too much to hurt him.

"I have to beat this thing. Your dad says the good can outweigh the bad. Maybe in this too. I need your help." Jim begged.

Phoebe shook her head "I don't want to cause you pain. My mom said I should trust you to be in control."

"You've already allowed me to touch you and I trust you not to hurt me. I trust you to shout at me when I do something stupid. I want to stop feeling that to be touched sexually is to be punished. I need you to take away the helplessness, shame, fear, and guilt I feel. Touch me how you want to touch me" Jim said as Phoebe wiped his tears away.

"How about on top of your clothes?" Phoebe offered though she wanted a lot more "You know start slow."

Jim then removed his clothes so that he could finally give her what she had wanted. "I am all yours. Have your wicked way with me. Please Phee. You're the only one I can do this with." Phoebe reached out and caressed Jim. Jim resisted closing his eyes, tried to remain grounded and not think of the past. "My love for you runs so deep, Phoebe Grey. I'm honoured to be this close to you. I want this. I need this."

Phoebe stopped kissing Jim only to say "I love you too. I love you so much. How far can I go?"

"All the way."


	21. What's love got to do with it

When Jim came up to breakfast the next day he realised that it was stupid to make love to Phoebe in a boat with her parents sleeping in the cabin above them. If he didn't feel so broken and damaged he never would've done it. He wasn't thinking straight and got lost in a moment. It appeared that Christian and Ana hadn't heard them (Christian was having his wicked way with Ana) but he was avoiding eye contact just the same. However, Elliot was giving him nods and winks which Ted was laughing at. If Christian didn't know he would soon work it out. Jim was thinking about jumping overboard and taking his chances with the current than face the wrath of Christian Grey. But he wouldn't let Phoebe face her father's anger on her own.

"So what are we doing today?" Christian asked the rest of the Grey gang.

"I was thinking a spot fishing." Ted said in a voice that was load with innuendo. Ana glared at him and Ted sheepishly looked down.

Jim and Phoebe blushed a deep red and then Christian worked it out. He was 15 when he got into a sexual relationship with a 30 year old captivating friend of the family. He knew that Elliot had lost his virginity around that age too with some High School cheer leader in their parents boat house. He found out recently that Mia had just turned 16 when she had a one night stand at the back of a car with a jock. If he knew that at the time he would have killed the prick. He had had the talk with Ted and had guessed that he was now experienced. He was sure that Ava and Lucas were in a sexual relationship. So was he mad that his 16 year old daughter had lost her virginity to a young man he regarded very highly? Hell yes! Was it inevitable that at some point they would have sex? Probably. Why was he mad? It was his 16 year old daughter under his roof. Christian was trying hard to reign it in.

Jim was waiting for the explosion and for Christian to kick the shit out of him. He wouldn't defend himself. He deserved it. Jim satirically thought that making love to Christian's daughter under Christian's roof was a fine way of repaying him back for everything he had done for him. He was a libertine. He felt so guilty for breaking Christian's trust which had meant so much to him. He couldn't believe that he had done it and his self-loathing doubled. Instead of the explosion Christian got up in silence and went to the office on the boat.

Elliot squeezed Jim's shoulder before following Christian. Elliot knew why Christian was mad but said after closing the office door "What has you got your knickers in a twist?"

"Your adoptive son has had his way with my daughter" Christian snapped.

Elliot retorted "Oh so it's your daughter's knickers we're talking about! And actually I think it was your daughter that has been putting pressure on my adoptive son to have sex with her since her birthday." Elliot may act stupid but he had graduated with a degree in Engineering and built up his construction business from scratch. He was far from stupid and he wasn't blind. "It made him feel this small given what his prior experience of sex is. I remember you felt like that once."

Christian glared at Elliot "What he did was unacceptable."

"I don't see it that way but if it was unacceptable in your eyes then it's what 'they' did. Phee's at the age of consent in Alaska" Elliot corrected and before Christian got any revengeful ideas.

"Barely. He should know better" Christian defended Phoebe.

"Why's that?" Elliot challenged.

"He's older." Christian pointed out the obvious.

"Bullshit. He's an 18 year old that recently lost the only biological family he had left. He's an 18 year old that found out his father murdered his mother because he was born. He's an 18 year old that didn't expect a gift on his birthday. He's an 18 year old that had no other experience of sex other than rape and the beatings associated with that. He's an 18 year old with a death wish. Should I continue?" Elliot was fiercely defending Jim. He would always protect him.

"I know what he's been through" Christian shifted uncomfortably.

"Then cut him some slack. He's so fucked up but given what was done to him he's doing really well. He's trying to move on and he found love with your daughter. Is that really so bad?" Elliot demanded.

"YES!" Christian shouted.

"Really! Why?" Elliot questioned.

Christian wasn't about to let this go and so ignored Elliot's question "There has to be some sort of reprimand."

"You're being unreasonable but how about I talk my adoptive son and you talk to your daughter?" Elliot offered a compromise.

"What will you talk to him about?" Christian asked sarcastically. "Clap him on the back and compare stories. He'll be up all night."

Elliot was hurt by Christian's comment, he had played the field until Kate because of his own issues with commitment, but he retorted with a smirk "That maybe my style Chrissie but at least I didn't fuck my mother's best friend behind her back. Should I hit really below the belt and mention BDSM? Because I'd rather have him be in a loving relationship than for him to take the route you took." Elliot hated using Christian's past but he had to make Christian see sense.

Christian relented seeing that Elliot was hurt by his previous comment and so much so that Elliot had used Christian's past against him. That was something Elliot would never do other than when he had hit below the belt first. "It doesn't happen again under my roof."

"Well you tell her that and I'll tell Jim that. We'll establish a set of ground rules." Elliot again offered the compromise.

Christian accepted that but had to have the last word "Fine."

* * *

For the rest of the trip Jim kept a low profile and was only with Phoebe in plain sight of an adult. He felt Christian's anger and the distance Christian put between them. He knew he had fucked-up and felt terribly guilty because of that. It added to Jim's lack of self-worth and his belief that he deserved to always be struggling through life. Elliot kept a very close eye on Jim. Elliot didn't want Jim to suddenly abscond because of a natural development in his relationship with Phoebe and because Christian was being an idiot. Elliot knew that late teens were normally curious about sex since they had raging hormones wanting to try the act out and he felt it was safer for them to try in their home than to take risks of doing it elsewhere. In their home he could make sure that they were safe and happy. It was all he wanted for his kids. He knew that Christian wanted the same thing for his own children but in a less free spirited way. Elliot often took Jim, Kate, Ava and Lucas on hikes so that they could have some quality family time together and time away from Christian's glare.

Jim felt that making love to Phoebe was wonderful, passionate and heavenly. It was so so different from what he experienced before. She was irresistibly adorable. She was more than just his best friend or confidant. She was everything he would ever want. He felt loved and cherished and that some of his wounds were healing because of her. He forgot about his pain, his worries, and his anxieties when he was with her. Through making love there was no question about how they felt about each other. In fact, Jim's feelings for Phoebe had become far deeper than ever before. He loved her pure and simple but he wouldn't provoke Christian's anger again. He owed Christian Grey so much.


	22. All for love

Phoebe Grey went for a run on the treadmill after a practice fencing match. It was late and the rest of her class had gone home. Her coach who was doing paper work in her office allowed her access to the gym. Phoebe put her headphones on and turned up the music playing from her phone. Her music set her pace. She was frustrated. Jim hadn't touched her since her dad found out that they had sex. Her dad had shouted. She had shouted. She was grounded. But Jim believed that he had done wrong by touching her. Her father's disapproval had distorted Jim's self-image even more. She couldn't hate her father but she wasn't happy with him either right now. She had wanted to make love with Jim for such a long time so that she could prove that she wanted him, that they belonged together and that she would be his rock in stormy seas. Having sex with him made her feel all warm and fuzzy. He was the one that she wanted to have hold her and cherish her. She had been so so so happy. Then her dad had to spoil it and had blamed Jim when she had initiated it and had taken the lead.

Suddenly the treadmill came to a halt and Phoebe fell hard. Her phone clattered to the floor. Phoebe was kicked in the stomach twice, had her head pulled up by her hair and she was slapped hard. Phoebe grabbed her phone knowing that her life might depend on it.

Paul Clayton wanted to take from Christian Grey what he had lost – his little girl. Once the court ordered him to do a paternity test he knew it was matter of time before he lost everything. His lifestyle. His trophy wife. But most importantly his daughter. He loved her more than anything in the world. He was facing a murder charge. Christian Grey was going to pay for interfering in business that didn't concern him.

"Let me go!" Phoebe ordered.

Paul laughed "Why should I do that, princess?"

"Because my dad won't hesitate to kill you if you don't" Phoebe responded confidently despite seeing Paul's gun.

"It's your dad's fault you're in this mess." Paul took delight in telling Phoebe that. He wanted her to hate her father in the end and then he would kill her. Paul leered at her and then slapped her again.

"What do you want with me?" Phoebe whimpered. She was scared but she was in fight mode.

"You're the Grey princess. What do you think?" Paul Clayton replied. "Up you get."

Paul tried to grab Phoebe but she kicked him in the crotch and ran. She saw her coach knocked out cold and realised that she was alone. She went for the exit but realised that it had been locked and barricaded. She was trapped. She hid in a cupboard used for keeping fencing equipment. She tried the number of her security but got no response. Now she was beyond terrified. Phoebe tried her dad.

"Mr Grey's phone. Andrea …"

"Andrea, it's Phoebe. I need to speak to my dad" Phoebe pleaded.

Andrea was concerned "He was in a meeting but now giving a tour of Grey House. Are you..."

"It can't wait. Can you get him?" Phoebe's hands were shaking. She had to use both hands to hold her phone.

"I'll have to find him. His phone was on the charger." Andrea explained. She was worried. She had never heard Phoebe sound like this before.

"I'll try mom." Phoebe then dialled her mom's number but got the answer phone. That was nothing unusual. Her dad was always frustrated at her mom for that. Phoebe tried Jim.

"Captain Phee. How's your swashbuckling?" Jim greeted cheerfully.

"Jim. Thank god." Phoebe was never so happy to hear Jim's voice. She had to say her last words to someone she loved. Someone who would comfort her.

"What's wrong?" Jim was suddenly alert and started to clench and unclench his fist.

"He attacked me after fencing. I was using the gym. I can't get out. I think my security may be hurt. They were in the car but they're not responding." Phoebe was trying hard to remain calm.

"For fuck sake." Jim slammed his fist against a wall. He was now terrified for Phoebe. "Have you called the cops?" Jim asked anxiously.

"Not yet. I don't know if they'll get here before he finds me. He wants to hurt me. I saw it in his eyes. I needed to hear…" Phoebe choked back a cry. "one last time"

"No. Phee, listen to me. You're getting out of there alive. Don't think otherwise" Jim ordered her. "Is it my father?"

"Yes. I recognise him from the photo dad showed us." Phoebe confirmed.

"Phee, I coming to get you. Hang in there. You're my cunning courageous pirate. Whatever happens don't give up. Try and stay hidden but then keep fighting. Just keep fighting. I'll be there soon. You know how I can ride my bike. I love you. I love you." Once Phoebe hanged up Jim contacted Elliot "My father has her. She called me. There's a problem with her security. I'm going to her. I have to protect her."

"Did she tell you where she is?" Elliot asked fearful for his niece.

"The sports hall. Where she does fencing. You have to call the cops and Christian." Jim said steadfastly. "I got to go."

"Jim let the cops handle it" Elliot told him.

"NO FUCKING WAY! He's not hurting her because of me. I'm not losing her" Jim hanged up. He was going out of his mind knowing that Phoebe was in danger. Jim jumped on his bike without any protective gear and took off at top speed, passing over and around obstacles like they weren't even there. He was determined to protect her or die trying.

* * *

Phoebe tried to remain hidden for as long as possible but Paul eventually found her "Come out, come out, whereever you are. There you are!" Paul threw Phoebe out of the cupboard to the floor. She dropped her sabre that she was holding for protection, she had been too stunned to react. Phoebe then tried to crawl away from Paul to get the Sabre back. "Where do you think you're going? We're going to have some fun" Paul pinned Phoebe to the floor. She tried to struggle out of his grip. He put his gun against her forehead "Since your boyfriend is a queer little bitch, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreaming you had a real man, don't you? I'll tell you what. I'll show you a real man." Paul ripped her shirt to access her breast and squeezed it. Phoebe felt disgusted.

"He's your son. How can you say that about him?" Phoebe cried.

Paul slapped Phoebe hard. "He's no son of mine. He's the amoeba on a flea. He should've have enough sense to die. I'm sure you're less frigid than your mother to go with someone used like Jamie Paston."

Phoebe defended Jim again "He's brave"

Paul slapped Phoebe again. "Keep going and you'll earn yourself another slap."

"Smart." Phoebe said through gritted teeth and received the slap. Phoebe refused to be broken. Phoebe was enjoying getting under Paul's skin through saying how wonderful her boyfriend is. "Honest." Paul gave her another slap. "Hardworking." Paul tried harder to shut her up through a backhander. "Selfless. Things you'll never be." Phoebe said with a smirk that mirrored her father's.

"I going to enjoy you. Just like I did your mother. But you'll be conscious. You have your mother's eyes. Her breasts." Paul closed his eyes at the memory.

Phoebe couldn't bear to hear any more about her mother's date rape so she diverted Paul's attention from the details of it "How do you know my mother?"

"She was supposed to be mine and then he took her from me. At least I got to sample the goods once." Paul put his hand under Phoebe's shorts.

Jim skidded the bike to a halt. He tried to find a way into the building and found an open window on the 1st floor. He climbed up the pipe and went through the window. Jim then scanned the building to find Phee. Once he saw Paul Clayton through a glass window of a door Jim elbowed the glass so that it smashed and he openned the door. Jim assessed the situation and saw Phoebe fighting Paul. Phoebe was semi-naked. All of Jim's pent up hate and anger came flooding forward. "Get the hell away from her." Jim launched himself at his father, knocking him off Phoebe and then rained blow after blow on him in quick succession. Jim had learnt how to fight in juvy, on the street and in the group home. When he got going he was fast and strong - it just took him a lot to get to the point where he would raise his fist. Phoebe curled up into the corner and cried as she rocked herself to self-soothe.

* * *

Elliot and Christian smashed Elliot's truck through the door and dented the barricade. They scrambled over it to enter the building. They heard the sound of fighting and followed it. Christian saw his daughter, curled up and rocking back and forth. Her fear and humiliation evident. Her clothes torn. Christian went to hold his little girl in his arms full of anger that she had been attacked.

Christian checked Phoebe over and gently stroked her bruised face "Are you ok? Did he rape you?"

Phoebe shook her head "He wanted to. He wanted to know if I was as good as mom. Jim saved me. He stopped him from raping me." Christian realised then he owed Jim everything. Phoebe cried against her father. Christian looked murderous. He was going to join Jim in giving Paul what he deserved. "Dad don't leave me. Please. Please."

Christian held his daughter tighter "It's ok. I got you now."

Jim saw Christian hold Phoebe. Phoebe was in good hands now. Now he just had to kill the fuck that hurt her.

Elliot overheard the words Phoebe said but then saw the rage flow from Jim at an increasing rate. The flood gates had been opened – this was years of hurt over flowing, it wasn't just the pain from losing his mother and the pain from Phoebe being hurt that was directed at Paul. It was Jim's own abandonment and everything he went through because of that. Christian's security tried to pull Jim off Paul but Jim was too enraged to notice. The adrenaline rush gave Jim a noticeable increase in strength that added to his strength of having done years of manual labour and he felt no pain from Paul trying to defend himself or from the security trying to stop him. Elliot tried to get in between to try and calm Jim down. Jim was about to commit murder with his bare hands.

"Jim stop this. JAMIE! Let the fucker go." Elliot deliberately used Jim's full first name to get his attention. He knew it was what Jim's mother had called him and it was the only thing that he thought would get through the torrid of emotion.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill him. Look what he did to Phee. Look what he did to my mom." Jim demanded.

Elliot answered "And then there's what he did to you. But he isn't worth the rest of your life in prison and I won't lose my son because of him. Your part of my family. You have people who care about you now. You always did. Your mom. Your Aunt. But now you have me, Ava, Kate, and most importantly Phee. She needs you now. Go to her."

Jim looked over to Phoebe and Phoebe nodded. Jim took a step back. Paul looked resentful at the father son relationship between Elliot and Jim. But then he saw the person who he hated the most. Christian Grey. Paul pointed the gun at Christian and pulled the trigger, the man had taken everything from him, and Jim seeing it took the bullet. Jim fell to the floor and Elliot scooped him up in his arms. Elliot looked up and saw Paul smirk.

Christian pulled his gun. He had learnt to carry a weapon ever since Ana was hurt by Jack Hyde. But he stopped himself from pulling the trigger when he saw Phoebe take the sabre that was on the floor and then lunge at Paul stabbing him. She was quick and swift. She demonstrated why she was the National Champion in fencing. Phoebe was enraged and she killed the man who had raped her mother, tried to rape her, had wanted to kill her dad and had shot her boyfriend. Phoebe was about to stab Paul again when Christian stopped her by holding her.

"Phee, give me the sabre." Phoebe looked at her father. "He can't harm him again. He can't harm you either. He won't harm anyone ever again. Give me the sabre." Phoebe felt safe and protected. She gave her dad the sabre. Christian then told her "This wasn't you ok. It was me. I would've done it anyway."

"No dad. I'm not lying to the cops. I'm glad I killed him. I'm glad it was me." Phoebe then sobbed against her father and Christian held her so tight that she felt she almost couldn't breathe. She didn't care. She needed it.

Christian's security was trying their best to save Jim. Jim was barely conscious. Elliot asked him "Why did you do that? Why? There would've been another way."

"You've done so much for me. I would never allow any of you to be hurt." Jim coughed up blood and passed out in pain.

"Dad please do something. I can't do without him." Phoebe pleaded. Christian did the only thing he could do and called 911 for an air ambulance.

* * *

_Will Jim survive? Let me know how you want this to end. _


	23. Don't Fear The Reaper

As Jim closed his eyes he saw his mom. He was so happy to see her.

"Jamie." Jim hugged his mom and his mom hugged back. Frances then said with a kind smile and a sigh "Why are you back again?" The last time Frances had seen her son was when he had been stabbed.

"You don't sound pleased to see me" Jim was fearful that his mom no longer loved him. Jim stopped hugging his mom just in case she didn't want it.

"I'll always love you Jamie but it's not your time" Frances gently admonished.

"I'm tired mom. So tired" Jim confessed.

"That's because you work around the clock Jamie" Sarah chimed in. She had regained her full liveliness and sense of humour.

"Leave him alone Sarah." Frances defended her boy against her sister. "Why don't you want to go back Jamie?" Frances asked sympathetically.

"I keep messing up. I don't want to fight no more. I want to stay here with you. Please" Jim pleaded with his mom.

"Jamie" Frances knew she had to say no. She wanted her son to live a full life.

"Please mom. Why can't I stay here with you? I can't go on. Please don't send me away again." Jim appealed for his mom to see sense.

"Jamie. I know you've been hurt. I know you went back and got hurt some more. Every time I saw it I cried out for you. No mother wants their baby hurt." Frances held her son closer.

"Then let me stay" Jim now begged.

Frances couldn't say no anymore. She gave her son the rest and peace he desperately needed "Jamie, rest for now."

* * *

Phoebe's prayers were answered and the emergency services arrived but then Jim went into cardiac arrest. Phoebe knelt on the floor next to Jim, held his hand and cried harder "Don't give up. Please Jim. Don't go. I love you. I love you."

Christian saw the medics take out the defibrillator "Phee, the medics need to help Jim now. Stand back."

The medics finally got Jim's heart to re-establish an effective rhythm. Jim was air lifted to hospital and whilst he was just about hanging in there he remained unconscious. Elliot went with Jim unable to let him go. When Jim was air lifted out Phoebe went back into shock. She was overcome by what had happened to her, what she had done and that her boyfriend was close to dying. She cut off from what was happening around her. Christian caught Phoebe just before she was about to collapse and lifted her in his arms. He then carried her to the ambulance. Christian saw Paul in the ambulance. Whilst he had been stabbed he still had a faint pulse and paramedics were working on him.

"We only have one ambulance" the police officer explained.

Christian was tempted to say 'Get the fucker out' but he knew if Paul lived then his daughter would be able to live without thinking she had killed someone. "I'll take her myself. Can you blue light us through the traffic?"

"Yes, sir" the police officer was happy to help.

* * *

Ana's security sped her through the traffic and then was led to Christian and Phoebe in the hospital. Phoebe had been sedated and was in a deep sleep.

"How is she? What did he do to her?" Ana snapped. She had been so afraid for her daughter.

"She's ok. He beat her up. He wanted to do more to her but Jim got there in time." Christian informed her.

"Where is he?" Ana was worried. There was no way Jim would leave her daughter like this.

"Fighting for his life. Mom's in there. Elliot and Ava are waiting in a visitor's room for news. He put himself in the firing line of a bullet that was meant for me even though I've been a real shit to him." Christian ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh god" Ana realising how close she came to losing Christian held him tight. She thought about Jim and mentally thanked him for saving her husband. But she wished he hadn't had to sacrifice himself and knew that for her family to be whole again he had to pull through. Christian and Elliot would never forgive themselves, Phoebe would be lost without him and the rest of the Greys would be grief-stricken "What happened to Paul Clayton?"

"Phee stabbed him with a sabre. The fucking bastard. Dad's with the cops right now. I'll doubt she'll even be charged. It's a clear cut case of self-defence. He had killed her bodyguards, hurt her coach and tried to rape her. He shot his own kid. He's looking at capital punishment even if he does live through it." Christian then filled Ana in on the rest of the picture "Ted and Kate are going to brief the press and ask them to leave our family alone to recover. Ted is coming back tonight. Mia, Ethan and Pierre are flying back tomorrow."

Ana took the information in. "I'm sorry Christian. She tried to contact me. I was in a impromptu coffee meeting with an agent and my staff couldn't find me. When I heard I tried to get here as quickly as I could" Ana started to cry because she hadn't been there to answer her phone when her daughter needed her.

Christian kissed her on the forehead and held her "It's ok. Ana, you're not to blame. I couldn't bare it if both of you were in danger. Paul Clayton was determined to destroy me. I should've taken better care of you all." Christian choked back a cry. He was trying to control his feelings and not break down. His family still needed him. But he had fucked up somehow and his daughter got hurt. He also couldn't understand why Jim had taken the bullet.

* * *

Jim had been stabilised but the doctors didn't know if he was ever going to wake up from the coma he was in. They had had to put stitches in his elbow from where he smashed the glass and then had begun to do skin grafts on the severe skin abrasions on his arm, leg, and the side of his torso from when he skidded his bike to a halt. Elliot knew Jim was extremely talented at riding his motorbike even under pressure so he didn't understand why Jim had fallen.

As Elliot watched his boy lie in a motionless and silent state he wondered how Jim managed to climb through a window with those kind of injuries which would've been bleeding extensively and then beat the hell out of Paul Clayton holding off Christian's security in the process. Elliot knew he hadn't registered the injuries previously because so much was going on. Jim clearly had perseverance and courage but Elliot doubted if he still had the will to live. _At least he wasn't feeling the pain_ Elliot thought.

* * *

As soon as Phoebe woke she remembered what happened "I want to see Jim. Is he ok?" She looked alert and fearful.

"He's in a coma. You have to rest now." Christian told her.

"NO I HAVE TO SEE HIM." Phoebe shouted at her dad.

"Phee…" Christian wanted his daughter to be checked over by a doctor before she got off her hospital bed.

"NO. You can shun him but you're not keeping me away from him anymore" Phoebe declared.

"Phoebe it wasn't like that. We discussed this" Christian implored Phoebe to listen. "Jamie Paston is a great young man but you are too young."

"I'm not underage. We were responsible. We were safe. What we did was pleasurable and natural. It was based on love and trust." Phoebe was in tears as she described one of the most special moments of her life.

"You did it under my roof!" Christian accidentally snapped. The emotion was just running high.

"It's my roof too isn't it? WHERE WOULD YOU PREFER I DO IT? At a party with Noah Gates when I was 13? Or would you have preferred that my only experience was today with…" Phoebe realised how close she had come to being raped and broke down into tears. "And now I may never be able to hold him again." Phoebe cried into a pillow.

Christian stroked his daughter's back "I'm sorry Phee. I am. If I thought that Jim wasn't right for you I wouldn't have allowed him to date you. I saw you on Montlake Bridge together and I realised then he loved you. But you are still so young and I just wanted what I thought was right for you. I'll take you to see Jim. I wanted a doctor to check you over first but given how much of a fight you've given me just now I think you're ok. Let's go."

Phoebe forgave her dad knowing that Jim would want it.

* * *

Phoebe slowly walked to Jim's room following Ana and Christian.

Christian was worried by some of Phoebe's outburst. "Phee, this is probably the wrong time but just to clarify have you had sex with Noah Gates?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes and shook her head "He wanted to. I said no. Billy got him into a drinking game. I wanted to wait for the right person." Phoebe then glared at her father "You and mom taught me better than that."

Christian always knew he had a reason to hate Noah Gates but now he knew why.

As Phoebe entered Jim's room she looked at Jim's body and wondered if it was only the machines keeping him alive. She saw how his skin had been harshly scraped against the surface of the road. She realised that Jim would've been in so much pain but had kept going until he knew she was safe. She knew Jim loved her so much.

Phoebe then started to cry over his body. "I'm never going to leave you Jim. I love you. Please wake up. For me." Ana took her daughter in her arms and helped her into a chair.

Elliot looked at Christian's face and saw the guilt, remorse and self-loathing there. "This isn't your fault. He actually smirked when he saw Jim had taken the bullet. He wanted Jim dead." As Elliot remembered Paul Clayton's smirk he hoped that Jim would never think of the man as his father just a sperm donor.

Christian then looked at his brother's distraught face. "You're not to blame either."

"I know that. I just never wanted him hurt under my watch" Elliot said regretfully.

* * *

Frances held her son in her arms. "You need to go back now sweetheart. There's so many people wanting for you to be ok."

"I don't know what I did to deserve them." Jim's tone of voice worried his mom.

"You've gone through so much but you never did anything wrong. You're so brave. I'm so proud of you." Frances declared hoping that her Jamie would believe it. "Though I wish you'd slow down on that bike of yours."

"What do you have to be proud about?" Jim scoffed. "I'm like him."

"I told you it was a mistake to let him skip a year" Sarah teased Frances. "He was never any good at those spot the difference puzzles."

Frances glared at her sister "You're nothing like your father. He's a murderer. A rapist. The very scum of the earth. I should never have tried to get him to acknowledge you as his son. He was always going to be bad news. I should've just kept you all to myself. Elliot is the type of person I wanted you to have as a father. You're my pride and joy. I love you so much."

Jim could see what was coming next "Don't send me back. You sent me back before and look how that turned about. You told me it would work out in the end."

"Didn't you meet Phoebe Grey?" Frances said with a sweet motherly smile. "You're my grown-up boy who's going to college, going to get married to that beautiful young lady you've been dating and give me grandchildren."

"I love her mom. I really love her with my whole heart. But she's better off without me." Jim revealed his self-loathing.

Frances was angry at the hate her son had for himself but she hid it. "She doesn't seem to think so. How did she describe you? Brave. Smart. Honest. Hardworking. Selfless. Funny. Kind. Protective. She's got you all figured out. She's needs your strength to recover from what Paul did. Don't let her down. Also don't let her father get you down. He's was more than experienced at your age. Trust me."

Jim felt bashful at his mom's last words "I think I get your meaning mom. Please don't give me the detail."

* * *

Ava had her arms around Phoebe. Phoebe was crying on her shoulder "Ava I just want him to be ok. I need him to be ok"

"I know Phee." Ava soothed "He saved your dad's life. Just remember that and don't be angry when he wakes up." Ava had seen Phoebe be angry when Jim put himself in danger and she didn't want her brother to face that if he recovered.

"I won't be angry. He saved me. His father…no he doesn't deserve to be called that. He said really horrible things about Jim. It was like he thought Jim deserved to be hurt. He wanted to hurt me badly. If he'd succeeded I don't think that I could've… I was so scared but Jim told me to keep fighting … So I did. It helped me hold on to self-respect even though he was touching me. Jim knew that fighting him would help me. I can't lose him." Phoebe wiped her tears.

Ava held her tighter "Oh Phee."

"I won't leave him until I see him awake. I won't leave him alone ever again." Phoebe promised "You know he thought if something happened to him that I would just move on but I knew then I couldn't be without him. I will never let him go. Ever"

"I understand Phee." Ava was just letting her cousin talk.

"I want to stay here for college. I want to stay with my family and Jim. It's where I am safest. There's a good architectural programme that I can do." Phoebe had thought about her future but her future only considered Jim being alive. She wouldn't allow herself to think about a future without him in it.

"What about acting? You could do that locally." Ava gently suggested.

Phoebe shook her head "I don't want it anymore."

"Why not?" Ava was surprised.

"I feel so exposed. Dad, Ted and your mom has been protecting me from the press. I never want to feel this way again. Everyone will know what I did." Phoebe explained.

"Phee don't let him do this to you." Ava told her "Don't make any decisions straightaway. You defended your family. He could've killed your dad if it wasn't for my stupid but brave brother. Have you spoken to your parents about this?"

"Yes. They understood. They understood the need to feel secure and hidden. They're arranging for me to speak to Flynn on a regular basis. He came here. My goal now is to be the best architect I can be and to be with Jim." Phoebe said firmly.

"Will that make you happy?" Ava asked, hoping that Phoebe wasn't settling in life.

"With Jim I'll always be happy." Phoebe knew that for sure. "I love architecture ever since we went to Barcelona. It's not second best. I don't want to be on stage. There's too much drama in life already. I want to create. I could work for your dad. He could expand his business and go global."

"Have you spoken to dad yet?" Ava said thinking that her dad had never been that ambitious for his business.

"It was his idea. He's been great. Everyone has." Phoebe again felt how lucky she was to be part of the Grey family.

"Jim is going to be ok. He's strong and he's madly in love with you." Ava told Phoebe so that she kept her hopes up.

"I don't know what I did to deserve him. When he first came up to me I didn't even give him the courtesy of looking at him. I treated him like everyone else did." Phoebe regretted how she first met Jim and brushed him off.

"Phee you said he was staring at you. That can be intimidating." Ava knew that from experience "You didn't know then he was staring at you because it was love at first sight for him rather than something horrible."

"But look at how dad treated him. I was so mad at him for shunning Jim. After Jim was shot I shouted at dad. He could've forgiven Jim sooner and not make him feel worse. But Jim told me, after he got beaten up, to forgive because he knew how important a family is. I've forgiven dad because he's my dad and I was close to losing him but also because Jim would want me too." Phoebe always valued Jim's advice.

Ava reflected on how she had treated her adoptive brother "I didn't treat him well either at first. I was resentful. But now…"

"Do you think he would want to come back? To me?" Phoebe asked full of fear.

"You both deserve to be together Phee. You love each other so much. You're perfect together." Ava reassured.


	24. Baby Come Back

A week had gone by and Phoebe hadn't left Jim's bedside. No-one expected her to. Grace was given updates on Jim's medical condition and there was some improvement. Christian and Elliot kept up a vigil over both Phoebe and Jim. Ana had made trips home to get Phoebe some decent food to entice her to eat as well as get her fresh clothes and toiletries. Kate looked after Ava and Ted. Carrick was monitoring the legal case on Paul Clayton who was recovering from his stabbing. The Greys were pulling together.

* * *

Phoebe rested her head on Jim's bed. She soon fell asleep but then dreamt of Paul Clayton pinning her down and pressing hard against her. Phoebe whimpered in her sleep and it woke Jim.

"You're safe. You're safe. He won't harm you. I won't let him harm you." Jim stroked her head with his hand though he couldn't lean forward to comfort her. Even though Jim had almost died he still put her first.

Phoebe woke up startled but then smiled when she saw Jim awake. "Jim" Phoebe said his name in a whisper scared that she was just dreaming that Jim had woken up.

"Of all the hospital beds in all the towns in all the world, she stays by mine." Jim quietly said, trying to regain his voice. He altered the quote from Casablanca. "I seem to keep landing myself in here."

"I was so scared." Phoebe started to cry again but this time it was happiness.

"I'm so so sorry Phee. I failed you. What my father did to you …" Jim was full of self-loathing when he recalled his father on top of Phoebe. He looked at the fading bruises on her face and hated that Phoebe had got hurt because of him.

"Don't start with the self-blame. I don't want to hear it. He isn't your father. I don't care if you share DNA. You share DNA with an ape." Phoebe snapped and glared. But Phoebe's glare didn't last for long. "I was so scared because I thought I was going to lose you after you saved me and dad. You're lucky to have survived after what he did to you."

"I told you not to worry about me." Jim tried to comfort her but said utterly the wrong thing.

"and I told you that I love you and I'll always worry about you. It would be nice if you didn't give me a reason to worry about you." Phoebe snapped again and then realised she was being ridiculous. She knew all that she should be feeling was how blissfully happy she was that Jim was awake "I said I wouldn't get mad at you if you woke up and I've snapped at you twice already. I'm sorry. Just please don't blame yourself for this." Phoebe wiped her eyes and then asked worriedly "Do you care you got badly hurt?"

"I don't really know what to say Phee. I stopped caring about myself a long time ago. I couldn't protect myself, so I stopped trying, accepted it and with that went any dignity I had. I tried to regain it back but it had already gone. It was too late. It's why I knew I had to tell you to fight Paul regardless of what he did. I couldn't let you feel that. But it's hard to get back into the habit of caring for myself. Especially since when I did act self-interestedly a kid got really hurt because of it. I was silent so foster father number 4 was able to use another kid" Jim explained and expected Phee to turn her back on him. He knew that he had to spell it out for her once and for all.

Phoebe again saw Jim's pain, guilt and shame that he held inside of him. Her heart ached. "Is that why you don't think you're worth our worry now?"

"Yes." Jim affirmed. It was obvious that she shouldn't be this worried about him.

Phoebe wanted Jim to stop feeling like this "You're wrong. You are worth all of our worry and more. The miracle in all of what you went through is how wonderfully kind, honest and loving you are after having gone through it. No-body could've gone through it unscathed." Jim couldn't believe her words. He couldn't understand how she could forgive him for that and love him regardless. How could someone so pure stand to be near someone so contaminated? Phoebe then asked fearfully "How come you got skin abrasions?"

"There was something wrong with my bike. The brakes were off. The only thing I knew I could do to stop it was to skid it." Jim shrugged off the pain – he felt he deserved it for what happened to Phoebe. He couldn't help but blame himself. "I was scared that I wasn't going to reach you." The fear came back to Jim.

Phoebe gasped "Do you think Clayton tampered with them?"

Jim painfully laughed "I don't think I feature on his radar. He pretty much sees me as less than non-existent." Jim was confused by how he felt about that. The man was his father – he knew that the rejection hurt. The man was a rapist and a murder – he downright hated the fucker. Jim knew he was deeply fucked-up to be feeling the first sentiment.

"Well you kicked his ass." Phoebe was proud of Jim.

"Not enough." Jim had wished he killed the fucker, especially when he saw Paul point the gun at Christian. The father of his beautiful, radiant and lively girlfriend. As Jim looked at Phoebe he knew that his father had taken some of her joy and sense of adventure. In its place he saw fear and anxiousness. He felt responsible for the change and would do his utmost to get her back to her usual self.

"I love you Jamie Paston. I couldn't think of a future without you in it. Thank you for coming back to me." Phoebe kissed Jim to show how much he meant to her.

"I love you too Phee but you should really thank my mom." Jim said after the kiss "I wanted to throw in the towel. Not because I don't love you, I've fallen in love with you completely, but because of… "

"You wanted to be with your mom?" Phoebe guessed and understood.

"Every time I have a near death experience I can see her and talk to her. I miss her so much but she's always been insistent that I live a full life. Now you have my heart and soul in your hands." Jim gave a crooked smile. He felt stupid talking about his mom like this. He didn't even know if his encounters were real or not but he knew he could tell Phoebe everything and that she would never laugh at him.

"I love your mom. I can't do without you." Phoebe affirmed.

"She seemed to approve of you too" Jim then held Phoebe's hand tight.

Elliot came through the door holding a cup of tea in his hand. He was about to give it to Phoebe when he saw Jim conscious. Elliot smiled widely. "Thank fuck you're awake. The lie-in was taking the piss." Elliot felt relief and happiness mixed together. His boy was finally going to be ok.

"Good to see you too Elliot" Jim replied quietly but with a smile. Jim tried to sit a little up but the pain was too much.

"Just relax ok." Elliot gently chided.

"I need to use the bathroom and freshen up" Phoebe said seeing that Elliot wanted Jim all to himself for a moment. Phoebe wanted Jim to realise that Paul Clayton wasn't his father but Elliot was in every way that mattered.

"Don't go." Jim said, he wouldn't let go of her hand. He was afraid that if he couldn't see Phoebe then he wouldn't know if she was safe. He wanted to protect and love her always.

"I'll be back soon. Dad is around. On his blackberry." Phoebe promised and reassured.

Elliot pulled a chair up to Jim's bed "Don't ever do something like that again." Elliot firmly said. "Otherwise I'll ground you a.k.a. no racing ever. I can't take seeing you like that again."

"I don't intend to be like this again. Where's my bike?" Jim asked concerned.

"Davy has it." Elliot then looked worried but quickly turned back into his jovial self. "It's in good hands." Elliot reassured.

"What's happened to Paul?" Jim went on to the next question he was bursting to ask but wouldn't ask Phoebe.

"Phee stabbed him with a sabre. She was lightening quick. But he's recovering. They'll move him to prison soon" Elliot said with a satisfying grin. He hoped that Paul Clayton would feel as vulnerable and as helpless as Jim did growing up because the man couldn't give a shit about the child he fathered. He hoped that Paul Clayton would face the fear and dread that Phoebe felt when he attacked her. He hoped that Paul Clayton would be spared the easy way out of the death penalty.

"Was Phee badly beaten?" Jim had to know how much he had let her down.

Elliot frowned, he wondered what Jim felt he had to do before he started to believe in himself. "It was shock mostly and a mild concussion. She was eventually sedated. She has some nasty bruises on her torso. If it wasn't for you it would've been a lot worse. You saved her." Elliot hoped that Jim would believe he had done enough to prevent Phoebe from being irreversibly harmed. Phoebe came back into Jim's room with her dad. Phoebe had washed away her tear stains and she looked brighter. Elliot then said "I better tell Ava and Kate you're awake. Just so you know I'm glad you're back with us son." Elliot tried to put an emphasis on the word son. "It's been pretty miserable without you. Laters."

Phoebe went back into her chair and resumed holding Jim's hand. Christian put a hand on Phoebe's shoulder and was thinking about what his first words to Jim should be "I second what my brother just said. Thank you for all that you did for Phee. It fills me with dread to think about what would've happened if you hadn't been there. Take it easy. Both of you." Christian kept it short knowing that Phoebe and Jim needed to be alone together.

* * *

Ana had promised Phoebe that she would stay with Jim so that her daughter could get some proper sleep. Christian took Phoebe home so that she could have a bath, get some rest and eat something warm. Ana wondered what Bob Adams would think of Paul Clayton now if he had seen how psychologically hurt Phoebe was. But Bob Adams had passed away a few years ago.

"Mrs Grey." Jim was surprised to see her when he woke up. "Is everything ok?"

"Everything is now fine. My daughter has a smile back on her face. You're getting better. Paul Clayton is probably going to end up in jail for a very long time. Just don't forget to call me Ana. I wanted to say I can never thank you enough for what you did for my daughter and husband but no more heroics ok? I don't think I could handle it" Ana sweetly requested.

"I'll try ma'am." Jim responded.

"Ana" Ana sighed. "I promised Phee that I would stay with you until she came back and Elliot has some business that had to be seen to. He didn't mention what it was but he'll be back soon with Ava and Kate. I have a book here. I can read it aloud if you want to hear some of it. I read it to my kids when they were growing up." Ana offered.

"I'd like that. Thank you." Jim looked so grateful and Ana wondered if he would ever realise how grateful the Greys were to have him.

* * *

Jim's next visitor was Davy Miller. Davy had flowers in his hands. He looked awkward carrying them and then dumped them on Jim's bedside table.

"Hey Jimmy." Davy looked at his friend deeply concerned.

"How's my bike?" Jim asked immediately.

"No 'how do you do' back? Just 'how's my bike'?" Davy looked mock affronted.

"Davy, cut the bullshit. There was something wrong with it wasn't there?" Jim had figured out so much when he was riding it to get to Phoebe.

Davy nodded his head in agreement. "Bill came to see me. Wanted to know why the fuck I recommended you to him when you were under age to work on the construction site. I told him to fuck off. He said for you to be careful not to fall when you next compete. Elliot asked me to check your bike over thinking you had an accident and damaged it in your rush to get to your girl. I saw straight away that someone had fucked with it. Nothing you couldn't fix if you had checked it before you rode it though. I knew it was him. I wanted to kick the shit out of him for it but…"

"Elliot stopped you." Jim guessed and was relieved.

"Yeah. He reported it. Bill got charged with breaking and entering. He was caught on CCTV. Rookie fucking mistake. Elliot doesn't want to tell you just yet. Wants you out of hospital first. Why didn't you tell me he was an asshole to you? I could've found you another job." Davy sounded hurt. He thought they had become close friends over the time they had known each other. He knew Jim watched his back and he wanted to watch Jim's back since Jim didn't seem to watch out for himself.

"It was honest. It paid well" Jim defended.

Davy laughed at that "Elliot found out he was creaming off you. I never knew someone so laidback could turn so mental. Anyway, Carlie told me to bring these."

"And you listened?" Jim was astonished.

"She pregnant." Davy said flatly.

"Oh." Jim knew that that would change things for Davy "How do you feel about that?"

"We're keeping the kid and getting married. I don't know how we work but we work. I was going to ask you to be best man but I guess now that you're a Grey and a would-be lawyer you won't have much time for the likes of me…" Davy thought he was a part of Jim's past that Jim was better off forgetting about. The Greys were Jim's future. He had seen how much Elliot and Kate cared for his friend. Davy knew he would be disappointed to lose a friend but he felt that Jim deserved happiness and good fortune in his life.

"I'll always have time for you Davy. You helped me get out. What about your other friends?" Jim was stunned to be asked. He knew that Davy spent most of his time with the friends he knew since kindergarten. It seemed that Davy was full of surprises today.

"I don't really want them near Carlie. Her family is heavily Catholic and already disapprove of me. None of them are as clean as you are." Clean wasn't a word that Jim would associate with himself. Davy explained further "With a baby on the way I'm thinking of going completely legit. Start over. Though with my record… I'll think of something. Work for her father or some shit like that."

Jim knew that Davy would hate waving his independence away. Jim now knew what he was going to do with some of his inheritance. "My aunt left me some money…"

"I'm not taking money from you." Davy interrupted.

Jim had said those words when Davy caught him dumpster-dive but Davy was determined to help him. Jim smirked at the memory and then used the words Davy had said when he bank rolled Jim's first races "Call it an investment. You got your shop and club which we can expand but how about a track to rival Hawkstone? We just need to find some land with potential planning permission."

"What do I know about finance and shit? Why do think I do crime? It's to supplement my living and business costs." Davy pointed out.

"I'll do the finances. But you know all about bikes and you got legit contacts on the circuit." Jim pointed out.

"So we're going to be partners." Davy liked the idea.

"Partners." Jim confirmed.

* * *

Elliot came back with Ava and Kate. Jim was more than just pleased to see them. Ava put her arms around her brother and cried. Ava wanted her brother to know how much he was loved by all of them so that he would begin to realise how special he was to them and begin caring for himself. She never wanted her brother hurt again by his recklessness to protect the people he cared about.

Jim was surprised by her tears "It's ok Ava. I'm ok"

Kate softly took Ava in her arms seeing that Jim was uncomfortable or worse in pain by the pressure Ava was accidentally exerting on him. Ava couldn't respond through her tears so Kate replied instead "We've all been praying that you'd pull through Jim. We all really care about you. You do realise that don't you?"

"I'm beginning to appreciate that." Jim confirmed but didn't get why.

Ava tried hard to stop her tears and once she had Kate emptied the bag she was carrying into Jim's bedside table "We got you some clothes so that you have something more comfortable to wear and an ipad with some movies, music and books downloaded to keep you entertained. Grace will fill you in but it'll be sometime before you can come home." Kate then stroked Jim's undamaged arm and Jim tried hard not to flinch.

"Thank you. Really." Jim said truly grateful at being thought of and provide for, it was something he still wasn't used to. However, Jim caught a glimpse of the clothes brought, saw the surfing prints and thought he would look like a Ken doll in them. He also mentally groaned at being stuck in a hospital bed for however long he had to.

"We should put the flowers into some water." Kate said, keen to do something which meant that she could hide her own tears and seem to remain strong. Kate went off with the flowers to find a spare vase to fill with water and then arrange the flowers into it.

"I should help Kate." Elliot excused himself so he could comfort Kate but squeezed Ava's shoulder on the way out.

Ava then tentatively asked "Jim, how are you feeling? Truthfully."

"Tired. I like what you've done with your hair." Jim tried to divert the conversation away from him.

"I got it cut before I heard you were in here but you're not getting off that lightly. I want to be there for you how you are for me. Talking can help" Ava said. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Yeah it hurts" Jim swallowed, he hated admitting it, thinking it showed how weak he was, so he added "Nothing I can't handle." After all he deserved it.

Ava frowned at how Jim clammed up on himself. "How are you feeling about what happened with Paul Clayton? Were you afraid?" Ava sounded like her mother when she did an interview.

"I was afraid he was going to hurt Phee. I was terrified about that. I just knew I had to get to her." Jim recalled.

"What about him hurting you?" Ava pressed. Ava was worried about Jim's earlier answer to her mother's question.

"At the time I couldn't give a shit. Phee ... I just love her so much. I wouldn't be able to handle it if something worse had happened to her." Jim replied not realising what Ava was driving at.

"But what about you?" Ava repeated the question.

Jim now understood Ava's meaning "As I said to Kate, I can see now that a lot of people would be concerned if I got hurt. I don't want you to be troubled about me." Jim replied honestly but knew that it wouldn't be a good enough answer for Ava and he was proved right.

"Concerned! That an understatement. You have to see that. Of course we would be troubled and there's nothing wrong with that. We all love you so much. Jim, you're my brother. We were terrified you were going to die. It would've destroyed Phee if you had. Nothing would've ever been the same again for her." Ava admonished. She felt like a hypocrite for telling Phoebe not to get mad at Jim but her brother was infuriating. Ava asked her next question seeing Jim just absorb her anger. "How did you fall off your bike?" Ava asked more considerately.

"I didn't. But I think Elliot has sorted that." Jim didn't want to reveal too much since he didn't want to let on what Davy had told him. He didn't want Ava to worry about him anymore than she already had.

Ava sighed there were no more questions to be asked so she filled Jim in what had been going on the last week. He deserved to know. "There's been a lot of coverage of what happened. I can see Phee is affected by it. But mom, Uncle Christian and Ted have been handling the press. Ted is coming by later with his chess board. For some reason he doesn't want to give you a rematch on cards." Ava gave a smirk. She loved how her brother was just as smart as Ted. "Dad has probably told you but Gramps has been looking after the legal side of things. Phee is in the clear. Though she always was. She did nothing wrong."

"I'm grateful, truly grateful, for what everyone has done." Jim solemnly said.

"It's what we do for our family. We stick together and help each other." Ava replied and hope that Jim would realise that he was included in that statement.

Kate came back with the flowers in arms. Her eyes were red.

"Are you ok?" Jim asked concerned.

"I have a touch of hayfever" Kate blatantly lied.

"I like what you've done with the flowers." Jim complemented.

Kate wanted to cry again at seeing how Jim cared for everyone else but himself.

* * *

Once Ava and Kate had left Jim's hospital room Carrick and Grace had popped in and this was followed by Mia, Ethan and Pierre who Elliot introduced to Jim. Christian then wanted to talk to Jim alone before leaving Ted and Phoebe with him.

"I'm sorry my father harmed her" Jim said straight away. Christian saw that Jim took the blame for what happened to Phoebe and despite what he did to save her. "I never wanted to hurt her. I can understand if you want me to stay away. I'm not good for her. But the only way I can stay away is if I'm dead."

Christian heard Jim's self-depreciation and asked "Is that why you took that bullet for me?"

"Rather me than you" Jim shrugged, he still felt he was worthless.

"I could say the same." Christian ran his hand through his hair. "I'll always do what I think is right by Phoebe but I've treated you harshly. I want to apologise."

"It was nothing that I didn't deserve." Jim responded candidly.

"What do you deserve?" Christian contemplatively asked. Jim looked down and didn't answer. Christian addressed Jim's first statement "The only person who is responsible for harming Phoebe is Paul Clayton and as far as I'm concerned he's done nothing to have the honour of being called your father. You said before that he's nothing to you. Keep it that way. You also have my brother who would do anything for you and loves you as much as he does Ava."

"I know. I just don't understand why. Especially when you know my past. Even if I'm not responsible for Phoebe getting hurt…" Jim didn't believe it but he just wasn't going to argue with Christian "… another kid got hurt because of me. I should've said something. You all don't seem to realise what I did. The kid ended up turning to drugs and committing suicide. I'm responsible for that." Jim said frustratedly. He had to prove how wrong the Greys were about him and he knew the person most likely to agree with him was Christian. Christian would then try to protect the Greys, and especially his daughter, from him.

"When we spoke after the charity ball did anything I say sink through? I told you were the toughest guy in the room. Which you are. Not many people can keep going with the lacerations you're recovering from and fight like you fought. I also said what happened to you doesn't define you. Anyone would've stayed quiet if they had an ounce of self-preservation. You're a smart kid and you knew what would've happened if you made an allegation that couldn't be substantiated. It doesn't make you a bad person to want to avoid that. You did what you had to to survive, so did all the other kids before you and you did it without turning to vices. Stop dwelling on it and start believing you're a good person with a lot to offer. It's the truth. Don't let anyone talk down to you. Especially me. I owe you everything for saving my daughter. Everything." Christian hoped that his bluntness would get through to Jim so that he could mentally recover with Phoebe.


	25. The Show Must Go On

**EPILOGUE  
**

Ted was rocking it on stage. Christian watched with the rest of the Greys as Ted moved the crowd anyway he wanted. Ted was clearly a great entertainer who enjoyed performing as well as an accomplished musician.

"Are you having fun?" Ted asked the crowd.

The crowd shouted "Yeah!"

"Alright. The next song is for my dad. The greatest man who ever lived. Not many people know this but he's awesome on the piano. He taught me and it's thanks to him that I got the courage to achieve my dreams." Ted led an applause to his dad.

Christian wanted to throttle his son for putting this amount of attention on him. He didn't do public emotion. Suddenly a microphone was shoved in his face for a response. "I love you Ted and I'm proud of you. Now do what the fans pay you to do."

Ana kissed her husband on the cheek, putting her arms around him and the crowd went "Awww!"

"That's my mom, folks. She's the best" Ted then sat at the piano and sang his song dedicated to his dad. He was glad he got the chance to and it was thanks to Jamie Paston.

By the time Ted had finished his song Christian's eyes had watered up. Ted then went straight into the next song so that the attention was kept on him.

* * *

After the show, Ted took Carrick, Grace, Ava, Phoebe, Jim, Kate and Ana backstage. Christian was tinkering with the piano on stage and Elliot was on the guitar. Elliot was really enjoying himself. Ted offered pizza and drinks to his family.

Ted looked worriedly at his sister. This was the first time she had been out in public and she had clung to her mom, Jim or her dad the whole time. Ted had postponed the concert until Jim had recovered and Phoebe felt comfortable about going. Ted knew that all the Greys were worried for Phoebe. She had withdrawn into herself, had lost her sense of humour and was scared to go out. She was trying her best to continue with a normal life but those closest to her knew she was struggling and was paying attention to some of the speculative press. She only slept when Jim or her dad was around to make her feel safe and then had recurring nightmares of Paul attacking her.

Ted and Jim had grown closer during Jim's recovery. Ted, like the rest of the Greys, felt indebted to Jim for saving Phoebe and his dad. Jim had forgiven Ted for accidentally ratting him and Phoebe out to Christian. They had played cards and chess together and discussed music and motorbikes. Ted took Jim outside to show him a problem on his new motorbike but he had really wanted to ask about Jim's plan for helping Phoebe move forward.

"Have you asked dad yet?" Jim shook his head. Ted went on "I know he's only old fashioned when it suits him so I can understand your hesitation but you did take a bullet for him. You're going to have to ask him sooner or later."

"Later. I choose later" Jim rubbed the back of his neck. He knew he was being a coward but he had a high regard for Christian Grey's wishes.

"But she's going to have to make a decision soon you know." Ted stressed the urgency.

"I know" Jim looked worried.

"We're having a barbecue tomorrow if the weather holds up. Ask him then." Ted suggested.

"Whilst he's holding stainless steel barbecue tools and is near fire?" Jim's voice was laden with sarcasm.

"You look as if I suggested something crazy but you step in front of bullets and climb through windows with road rash." Ted quipped.

* * *

Elliot and Christian were tending the barbecue and drinking beer. Carrick, Grace, Ava, Kate, Phoebe and Ana were involved in a game of Monopoly in the conservatory. Ted and Jim were messing with their guitars doing the James Bond theme tune.

Ted gave Jim a nudge in the direction of their dads. Jim got up and took the opportunity to ask Christian something that was close to his heart whilst Elliot was close by. "Sir, I would like to ask you something. I want to marry your daughter one day. I know she's too young now but I would like your permission to propose before she makes a choice about college. I love her and I'll do anything for her. She's accepted me as I am." Jim knew he didn't deserve Phoebe but everything he did it would be for her.

Christian considered Jim's words and then said "You saved my daughter. I know you can look after her and that you do love her. You've been through a lot together. I just don't want to lose her just yet. Not after what she went through. She's too young."

Elliot sighed "That's why he said one day. Keep up Chrissie. So what's the plan Jim?"

Jim went on to explain "Phee is worried what people are saying about her and she feels it's going to follow her to college. They're rumours and lies but she'd affected by it. I know one of her ideas before all this happened was Stanford so I was thinking about transferring there with her. I've already called them and my grades are enough to get in."

"You mean top class." Elliot said proudly and clapped Jim on the shoulder. Jim no longer flinched from him.

Jim rolled his eyes "I want to make this right. I want to protect her and help her achieve her potential. If we can go together she might feel comfortable and confident about going away for college. Give her the security she needs. What that man did to her was …" Jim clenched and unclenched his fist as he thought about Paul Clayton. His hate for the man was limitless and it was all he felt for him.

"He's never coming out of prison." Elliot reassured Jim and was pleased that Jim no longer referred to Paul Clayton as his father. That honour belonged to him.

"I know she's hasn't recovered but maybe she can if she started over somewhere else. I'll always remain by her side as long as she wanted me to because she means everything to me." Jim was determined to free Phoebe from the memories of Paul Clayton. Jim then took a deep breath and asked Christian again "Please can I ask for your daughter's hand in marriage, sir?"

THE END.

* * *

_This was going to play out as a tragedy on a lesser scale of the Great Gatsby, Titanic, and Romeo and Juliet but then I realised that they were all Leonardo Dicaprio movies (not quiet my type nowadays! Jamie Dornan on the other hand…) and well you didn't want it to go that way. So Jim would've joined his mom in the afterlife, Elliot and Phoebe would've talked about how to move forward and Phoebe would've sailed around the world believing that Jim was with her (she has visions of him). _

_To all the people who gave ideas on how this should end thank you so much - it was inspiring. To those who have read this, followed this and favourited it - your time is truly appreciated. _


End file.
